Doctor’s Diaries: A Child in Fight Club

I was seeing him for extreme violent out of control fighting with his brother and at school. I noticed he was small for a seven year old

“Where did you learn to fight?”  I asked

“From my Dad” he hesitated, and then said “………..when he beat my Mom” his white face expressionless, his eyes averted, his voice flat.

Years of learning to school my face when I hear such things perhaps still is not tight enough and some horror of what I felt must have flickered on my face. He rushed into saying “……….and from my Mom she also fought my Dad”

His seven-year-old eyes shied away from mine. knowledge of what he should never have witnessed as a two, five or six year old pooled in his eyes like a pond of dark dank filth. He looked away. His small body much too small for his year’s stiff with remembrance and then he shook himself and said “She also hit him”

“Do you want to go back and live with her?” I asked changing the subject.

“Yes!” he said.  The joy of the thought creeping into every crevice of his pale face and lightening it with color, putting pink in his cheeks, his cowlick gelled , his hair glossy and neat, he looked at me in anticipation.

“………and you will one day when things are better with you” I said having no knowledge of how deep the quagmire of violence was.

After he left the room to go to get a gift from our treasure box the social worker said “he is never going back to live with her……..”

Later in talking to the social worker and reading the note of an earlier one I thought to myself…………..May the Lord have mercy on all of us and the American Ummah and its children.

The story unfolds with all its hideousness: His mother as a young girl is sexually molested at age 7 by her father till she is sixteen, when she finally runs away and marries a vagabond ………and things happen plus a kid arrives and then she divorces and she marries a drug addict and peddler and two more kids arrive, violence happens and he is in jail for life. She is in the dungeon of depression…………..her children are growing up in foster homes yearning for her and she, unable to shake the violence of her childhood is unable to save herself from the terror of memories leave alone mother them.

I wonder what punishment needs to be meted out to fathers who violate their own daughters. No uncles, brothers or male family members to come to the rescue? The breakdown of the family system and regression into the animalistic dark ages  which Islam had abolished 1400 years ago was alive and rampant here.

I recalled that the the punishment of rape in Islam is death by stoning. Given these circumstances I wondered if that was too mild!

Children have to be watched every moment, they are Allah’s amanah to us, and we cannot use or misuse them not for personal abuse or for personal aggrandizement.

I was reminded of my mother how she kept a constantly vigilant eye on me at all times which sometimes irritated me.

I am now deeply thankful that my mother was a sergeant major when it can to chaperonage. She would not leave me alone for one tenth of a moment with men of the family, or boys in the house or with servants or with male cousins or my brother’s friends to the point that it irked me.

Today I cannot thank her enough as I see a parade of beautiful normal intelligent children mauled by violence both physical and sexual, scarred for life yearning always yearning for the love and security of their parents who are unable to provide it………..as they never had it. A vicious never ending cycle of pain, anguish and deprivation.

May Allah Subhanawataala protect the children from predators and provide over them protectors and providers who keep them as amanah of Allah.

Disclaimer: Names, circumstances and events have been changed to protect confidentiality of the subjects.

9 thoughts on “Doctor’s Diaries: A Child in Fight Club

  1. The brother in law is mentioned as death,regarding the dealings of Hijab.This cancels out the custom of joint family systems according to Islam.
    .
    Regarding any kind of abuse or fitnah,there are many ahadees and the verses which clearly mention the concept of Hijarh to migrate away from such a place of transgression.
    .
    These are all for adults who know what to do,but I really wonder what a child could do if he finds himself/herself in such a situation?

  2. Pingback: AUGUST 2012 READINGS….. | Siraat-e-Mustaqeem

  3. this is a truly inspiring article and i only came across it..i think what is really sad is that in reality a mother can only protect her childrn against certain people but what if the molester is the actual father or uncle or even granfather. Astaghfirullah! i used to be naive and think that such things only occured with non muslims but i have heard here and there of stories of muslims who have been victims. It is important to be vigilant with our own children but i feel that as muslims, maybe we need to extend out a helping hand to other muslim victims in some form or the other. ANy suggestions or anyone who is involved in such a project please contact me at aliyaumar@hotmail.com. Jazakumullahkahir.

    • ASA, There are many muslim safehouses or organizations that help muslim women and children. one such is in Atlanta called Bai tul Salaam.
      Perhaps the readers will share info.
      May Allah protect our children from all forms of oppression. AMeen

  4. Molestation is such a horror in itself. In our society, unfortunately, it is common and getting more frequent because of the taboos associated with the discussion or disclosure of inappropriate behavior within our family setups. Even in the most secure families which are in all ways stable, have cracks on the inside where these evils fester and grow and destroy innocence…
    And these cracks are there because of an absence of conscious learning about the deen.. May Allah keep us all from harm and allow us to be among those whose lives are a true representation of the edicts of Allah. Aameen.

    • Men are the Qawwamuun, (protectors) of women, unfortunately a lot of them do not know the meaning of it, they either overdo it with control issues or let go of things. Women have to guard their children, even if they end up being “unpopular”
      May Allah protect all the innocent children out there ours and everyone else’s and give the muslims strength and taqwa to protect their women and children. AMeen

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s