ETIOLOGY OF ANGER: When we are faced with someone less powerful than us and he or she does not give in to our opinion or demands or dares to disagree with us, Anger erupts within us.
Anger is actually a sign of hidden arrogance or Kibr as it explodes only in the face of the weak who are easy to punish with anger ( a spouse, a child, an employee dependent on you, or a weak nation, or ethnic or religious group)
WHAT DOES ISLAM TEACH US ABOUT ANGER AND HOW TO CONTROL IT?
- RECOGNIZE IT FOR WHAT IT IS AND ACKNOWLEDGE ITS ETIOLOGY WITHIN YOU
- UNDERSTAND that Allah Subhanawataala who created us knows what makes us angry and advises us ( through the Quran and Sunnah to avoid anger, not express it and treat it with the methods advocated by our Prophet pbuh
- RECITE AND REMIND YOURSELF OF THIS AYAH 3:133 in the Quran to remind ourselves as to who is most beloved to Allah and aspire towards it with practice:
Quran Quote: “Those who spend (in Allah’s cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress their anger, and who pardon men, verily, Allah loves the al-Muhsinun (the gooddoers).” [Surah Al-Imran (3) : Ayah 133-134]
- BE STRONG: Anger is a sign of weakness, Prophet Muhammad PBUH explains it to us as follows:
“A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry.” [Al-Bukhari; Book 47, No. 47.3.12]
- Immediate treatment : DO WUDU: which worked with my teenage patients: Pour cool water over your wrists and arms, wash your face and do wudu.
Prophet Muhammad pbuh said: “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so, when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” [Abu Daud; Book 41, No. 4766]
- CHANGE POSTURE AND PLACE:
Abu Dharr narrated: The Apostle of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, said to us: “When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.” [Abu Daud; Book 41, No. 4764]
- REMAIN SILENT: You may say something in anger that you may regret for ever:
In another hadith, the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, said:
“If one of you becomes angry then he should be silent.”
- DO NOT PRONOUCE A JUDGEMENT: Narrated ‘Abdur Rahman bin Abi Bakra: Abu Bakr wrote to his son who was in Sijistan: Do not judge between two persons when you are angry, for I heard the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, saying: “A judge should not judge between two persons while he is in an angry mood.” [Al-Bukhari; Vol. 9, No. 272]
5. EXAMINE YOUR HEART FOR KIBR OR ARROGANCE: Use the methods advised by the masters to get rid of it.
SINCE ANGER is borne in Kibr or Arrogance
Prophet Muhammad said: Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No one who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.”
Sahih Muslim 91
- THE NIGHTIME RITUAL: Cleanse your heart of all ghill and resentment before bed.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas that :
the Prophet (saas) used to say in his supplication: “Rabbi! A’inni wa la tu’in ‘alayya, wansurni wa la tansur ‘alayya, wamkurli wa la tamkur ‘alayya, wahdini wa yassiril-huda li, wansurni ‘ala man bagha ‘alayya. Rabbij’alni laka shakkaran laka dhakkaran, laka rahhaban, laka muti’an, ‘ilayka mukhbitan, ‘ilayka awwahan muniba. Rabbi! Taqabbal tawbati, waghsil hawbati wa ajib da’wati, wahdi qalbi, wa saddid lisani, wa thabbit hujjati, waslul sakhimata qalbi (O Lord! Help me and do not help others against me, support me and do not support others against me, plan for me and do not plan against me, guide me and make guidance easy for me, and help me against those who wrong me. O Lord! Make me grateful to You, make me remember You much, make me fearful of You, obedient to You, humble before You and turning to You. O Lord! Accept my repentance and wash away my sins, answer my supplication, guide my heart, make my tongue speak the truth, make my proof firm and remove resentment from my heart).” (Sahih)(One of the narrators) Abul-Hasan At-Tanafisi said: “I said to Waki’: ‘Shall I say it in the Qunut of Witr?’ He said: ‘Yes.'”
|Sunan Ibn Majah 3830|
|In-book reference||: Book 34, Hadith 4|
|English translation||: Vol. 5, Book 34, Hadith 3830|
DUA: May Allah provide each of us protection from Anger and Kibr. Ameen
ACKNIOWLEDGEMENTS: My deep gratitude to my teacher Shaikh Mokhtaar Magraoui, and Al Madina Institute for enriching me with its Fellowship, for all my fellow students who are my silent and vocal advisors with love and gentleness.
I ask forgiveness from all those whom I have shown anger, May Allah protect me from anger in the future. Ameen