Is it Lailatul Qadr and are they my guardian angels?


It is the 25th of Ramadan, 2007 and I am lost! Lost in the Haram? The very thought is comic, how can one be lost in the House of Allah, the reference point is always there, large as life. And with this thought the first layer of dunya peeled off of me.

I was in the Haram and I could not be lost, I could always look at the Kaaba and orient my self. On the wings of insecurity comes the thought “But what about my things”? I recall Haifa saying, “You may come back to your musallah of Itikaaf and you may or may not find your “things” but they are not lost, just moved to someplace else, by someone”. But nevertheless despite all the platitudes, I am feeling lost, displaced, and disoriented. After spending five days in one spot, only leaving for absolute needs, suddenly I am displaced…

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