It is not often in life that one remains passive when a door is shut which was previously wide open. This usually evokes a strong reaction in us. The threat of cutting of a loving relationship, the termination of ones job, the loss of a loved one are all doors that can shut suddenly. The shutting of these doors shut us out irrevocably and without a promise to reopen. All shutting of doors evoke an immediate and violently passionate response. This response is tempered or dictated by the one that rules your heart.
If you love someone and suddenly your access to him or her is cut off, you can violently shake the shut door, bang on it, wail, and scream, but will it open the door? It will only leave you with bruised knuckles and a frustrated sense of being.
One has to learn to become a jellyfish and you can only do it in the hour before sunrise, and right after the ushering in of dawn.
Sometimes sunrise ishraaq comes quickly after fajr (dawn) and at other times there is a long waiting time till the fingers of light part the curtain of night. It is at those times that a human being can build the inner self out into the body of a jellyfish such that when someone’s is wrenched or some loss punches it, the only change is that it sways gracefully and moves away without a break in its flexible beauty.
Prophet Muhammad pbuh has instructed us that the morning adkaars cleanse the heart. And so it is.
The brief two rakah of Fajar are over and I sit on the musallah and bead by bead recite the adkaars in Arabic repeating the words that came out of the lips of Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh). It feels like roses are surrounding me and engulfing me with their fragrance. Warmth engulfs my body like a gentle shawl draped over my shoulder with loving hands. The English meaning of the adkaars appears like a teleprompter message in front of me, sinking the essence of what I am saying with my lips deep into my psyche.
Never has this experiential exercise been more beneficial to me as when I am at ease and have no calamity waiting in the wings to grab me. It is just I and my mundane self, waiting for the sun to come up as the beads of dhikr fall from my fingers.
For when I am in difficulty I am confused, interrupted, agitated and had I not done the adkaars during ease they would be much more difficult to access in difficulty.
In Surah Inshirah Allah Subhanawataala reminds me to remember him when times are easy………
When you hear the door slam shut, the panic of longing, of loss and of deprivation rises like a tsunami and you see the power of the wave and feel it. You know that if it crashes in you, it will decimate you. It is then that those meager two rakah of salah and the morning evening adkaars become a raft with a sail in a storm.
Allah Subhanawataala recently shut a door in my life, I felt the tsunami rise and then I reminded myself after the Salah and adkaars that if He (Subhanawataala) has shut the door there must be some khair in it………..and the raging waters receded.
I asked Allah for forgiveness and did not ask him specifically to open the door but reminded myself almost in a litany that Allah knows all and if He has shut the door some good will come out of it.
With the door shut I realized that I could survive without what was behind the door and that I have so many options. I no longer needed to go into the direction of the door and bang on it, which I realized is futile.
Just as suddenly as the door had been shut, it opened. I looked beyond…… all the objects of my love were still there, but they had lost their luster and their ability to cause pain had disappeared by their enforced absence.
May Allah always teach me openly and overtly, as I am a slow learner.
So……..when the door is open and Allah’s bounties in all shapes and forms as loves and its products and affections are pouring out of it, take yourself on the magic carpet of your musallah after fajr and Asr, recite the adkaars, and think of the blessings of Allah and His Prophet pbuh.
I write this to primarily to remind myself and by declaring it I place a commitment in myself to do it in ease so in strife it comes to me like a the beacon of the lighthouse on a stormy night telling me that the shore is not to far and to watch out for rocks.
Make it a habit now for soon the door will shut again and while you are floundering in an impending tsunami it is difficult to remember the moves and invoke the words that will make the tsunami recede.
May Allah be in your heart and mine.