الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّـهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ ﴿١٣٤﴾
Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good;
TAFSEER BY DR FARHAT HASHMI
Those who swallow anger (the binding of the mouth of the water skin)
Whoever is witness to your anger that person will be burnt!
Whoever is angry should be silent.
Ghaiz: the boiling of water (anger)
Repeat: Oudhobillahi minish shaitaan nir rajeem.
Remain silent
Do Dhikr
Change position
Avoid the situation or place
Recognize what makes you angry?
Evaluate what helps one go away from anger
Channelize anger into constructive action. Evaluate food habits, study food that increase anger.
Evaluate environment as well as friendships and SUHBAH
Listening to Ghaibah (Backbiting) causes anger sometimes doesn’t it?
Study and remember Surah Al Asr
If someone comes with a complaint, do not make him or her angrier by fanning the flames or discounting them.
Allah is happy with the Mohsin. (A Mohsin is one who gives to the other what is MORE than his right)
Forgive people; one is unable to spend on anyone unless one can forgive them.
Allah Subhanawataala wants you to swallow your anger.
Do not express your anger …….if you do you will hurt others irrevocably
If you keep the anger within you, it will hurt you!
Allah Subhanawataala says do not keep the anger within you. When you forgive the person you are angry with the anger dissipates just by forgiving them and Allah loves the Mohsineen.
Anger is ugly as the person in anger is ugly when upset and becomes evil looking.
How do you forgive?
Hadith: On the day of qiyamah there will be a shout our by the angels “is there anyone who has a Haq (right) on Allah and only those will stand who have forgiven others and Allah will give them any or all that they want!
Forgive=erase.
In Summary:
Anger is a flame that destroys. If it is expressed it burns the recipient, if it is hoarded within, it burns the hoarder or it explodes one day with the pressure building up with time.
So what to do?
That is what this ayah is about:
SUMMARY OF WHAT TO DO WITH ANGER
>CONTROL IT WITH METHODS GIVEN ABOVE
>DO NOT EXPRESS IT
>DO NOT HARBOR IT WITHIN YOU
>FORGIVE THE PERSON WHO MADE YOU ANGRY
> (My suggestion: CHECK YOUR NAFS AND DECREASE ITS POWER OVER YOU BY PRACTICING TAZKIYAH TUN NAFS)
>THINK OF THE DAY OF JUDGMENT WHEN ALLAH WILL CALL FOR THOSE WHO FORGAVE THE PERSON WHO INCURRED THEIR ANGER
> THUS FORGIVE, FORGIVE, AND FORGIVE.
>ERASE THE REASON FOR ANGER
> PEACE NOW AND IN THE HEREAFTER WITH ANY GIFT YOU WANT FROM OUR BENEFACTOR THE ALMIGHTY.
Emaan is essential for this algorithm of delayed gratification to deal with anger as per the ayah mentioned.
Siraat-e-Mustaqeem 
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Jazak Allaho khair sister. i listen to it and giv u my feedback.
iv been following ur blog only since a month and trying to learn and implement in my personality. my duas r always for u .
I had read this post b4 also but yesterday it was making more sense to my angry mind but still nothing said in this world can cool ones anger wen u r hurt by someone whom u love dearly , for whom u have done so much . u tolerate everything for ur loved onesa around u their annoyng behavior etc but wen u loose ur mind or wen u need some affection n some loving emotions no body will toelrate ur bad mood or understand that u too r needing TLC at that time. funny world isnt it.
plz tell me another thing. the Holy Quran says not to say OOF to ur parents n treat them well. but what is the limit to this. why do parents make wrong use of this ayah. dont children deserve respect too. what does Allah say about parents who treat their children badly. parents esp of our desi culture think that they can do anything with their children. children do not have the right to give their opinion. how to tell our parents that children too need respect and love and care. giving food , water , clothes education is another thing but what about respect, feeling their emotions. or is it too late coz parents cannot be changed. what to doo then. how to tolerate their unnecessary anger. how to control the tongue. or when we keep quite before them when they r saying something wrong. the fire is still in us and we keep grumbling inside to Allah. I hope u understand wat im trying to say. ur wise words will be of big help. JAK
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LINK TO THE TAFSEER OF FARHAT HASHMI ON ANGER MANAGEMENT
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asa,http://www.farhathashmi.com/dn/Audio/Quran/ExplanationTafseer.aspx
and then go to tafseer: Sipara 4: Surah Ale Imran ayah 134
Topic Duration Audio Text
Ale-Imran
Tafseer 133 – 134 00:28:34 It is at the end of this section.
Sorry could not put the sound bite on this, but it starts around 13 minutes of this 28 minute section.
Do write your thoughts after you listen, maybe I missed something important:)
Hope this helps.
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Asma, I love that explanation (that truth, I guess I should say). Thank you.
It makes total sense and it caused me to reflect back on the times I’ve actually practiced that type of behavior (or obedience)….even though it was difficult ‘during’ the suppression of my anger, I remember having comfort afterward (with no guilt). Allah is good. 33:3
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COULD U PLZ GIVE US THE LINK HERE SO THAT WE CAN LISTEN AND LEARN FROM IT. JAK
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There was always much debate about anger when I was in the Christian community. What often brought-up the topic were the Christian churches who seem to be “asleep” and unmoved about injustice and disobedience in the world, while others are angered by it and were seeking a God-honoring way of confronting it. Most bible scholars teach anger is not always sinful and wrong, and that there is a time and place for “righteous anger”. Does Islam teach this? For instance…what emotion leads Muslims to stand up for their rights and rebel against a tyrannical government? What emotion leads us to stand up against oppressors and seek justice? What emotion leads us to finally confront someone who is harming us personally in some way (back-biting, slander, abuse,etc)?
(Maybe Islam labels “righteous anger” as something other than anger?)
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ASA, the answer is complicated and needs clarification, I will address it in a separate post inshallah, please bear with me.
JazaikAllah hu Khairan!
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ASA Kristi,
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Anger, injustice, adal (justice), Ehsaan and Istiqamah have definitions in the Quran that are quite specific.
Anger I mentioned in this ayah, maybe there are more later in the surahs.
Anger is not an option for a muslim. The muslim is allowed to push the aggressor as much as he has been pushed and punish the Dhalim as much as he has been punished. Interestingly enough the word here is “Istiqamah” and not anger. I have summarized it from Surah Hud in this post:
https://asqfish.wordpress.com/2009/08/02/istiqamah-and-facing-the-oppressor-surah-hud-11-111-112/
A muslim is given the right to fight for justice and save the weak from the oppressors, but it is a calculated act of aggression over the aggressor, there is no anger as one loses control in anger and may over reach the extent of aggression allowed or experienced by him.
However Allah Subhanawataala raises the bar by saying “he Loves the Mohsineen” i.e. those who do ehsaan. Ehsaan means giving the other person more than his right, a challenging concept in this world of arrogance and aggression isn’t it?
The crux of the whole concept of being a muslim is “to treat others as you would have them treat you”……..even though they may never do so.
In the final analysis one must have istiqamah which comes from inner strength, which comes from ebadah and Dhikr which comes from knowing Allah from His attributes, which comes from reflection of the Universe around us and obeying him even when we are angry righteously or not. Hope this addresses your question.
Allah knows best!
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