I entered the house …………her sanctuary. Everything was gone and yet her presence lingered and with it unease. Was it here that it took place? The splash on the carpet was a silent witness to something. I felt the pain, the sadness and then the desperate seeking of the elusive peace………
I have witnessed flashes of her past and they add up. I can see her in her youth, the gorgeous red hair, unruly in the summer breeze, her hazel eyes with flecks of gold and green smiling up in innocence, …………and then the calamity sneaking into her life, attacking her and wrestling the innocence out of her.
She a youthful 14 year old desperately pushing him away, a friend of the family turning into a foe and attempting to assault her, how far did it go , only the Good Lord knows but it left its mark. She left for the opposite coast after the incident.
I am back at the house. The birds speak briefly outside in the humid afternoon. There is a lull in the breeze and the small touches of her elegance speak up from every niche of the deck. The beautiful bird feeder sways gently in the breeze. I think of her here………this is where she said she found peace.
She who could feel the pain of others, who eventually felt more than she could bear……
What had tipped the scales……….
The darkness had come and engulfed her, the pain had come and immersed her such that she sought oblivion………where was she? Supposedly at the Oceanside somewhere struggling with the darknesses within her.
I regret that I fell short as a friend, always wanting her to pull herself up by her bootstraps………..what I did not know was the fact that she had done it so many times that there were none left anymore.
The darkness within her had blinded her and she could no longer get up and face life………..
May Allah help her and give her peace where ever she is and that she may never have to suffer the darknesses ever again. May He keep her in His protection and shower her with his mercy!
Please keep her and me in your prayers……….