I have lived a magical life. Whenever something bad happened, I knew at a gut level that it would be temporary and it would pass and surprisingly it did. Even at the worst moments I knew that I would come out of them intact. My prince who rescued me from each and every event was My Allah, this may sound trite and corny, but in the inner recesses of my heart it is the absolute truth.
And so He continued to retrieve me from minor and major disasters I became more and more lax knowing that Prince Charming though invisible would always retrieve me from this fate that seemed terrible at this time but it would be overturned……………till the night of July 13, 2005.
I sat in the blue chair in the computer room where Tariq used to sit at the computer. I looked at one police officer sitting and the other standing at the door. One said “Tariq is deceased” and I knew that he was wrong that he meant there had been an accident but he must be alive. All I had to do was to get to the hospital and get him the proper medical care and he would heal.
No one was with me, and that night my Prince Charming too gave up on me.
I sat in my chair thinking surely this is a mistake, when I wake up or go to the hospital in a small town in Georgia, I will find Tariq to be injured, perhaps even very injured, but alive!
I waited and waited and waited for my Prince Charming to rescue me and tell me that this was all a bad dream, but he did not. My warranty had run out.
Since then I am on notice, and I feel that my days are numbered and I rush to understand His words and try to make His wishes my command……… And yet, recently I have felt myself slipping, I don’t feel that I have any recourse to alter consequences in this Life or the next. And I no longer believe that no matter what I do, My Prince Charming will come to my rescue, and yet…………I still find myself slipping effortlessly into hoping that He will.
I look at my life and intellectually I deny it but at a subconscious level I know that I still suffer from …………..The Cinderella Complex.