Whom Should I Marry? 2:221


وَلَا تَنكِحُواْ ٱلمُشرِكَـتِ حَتَّى يُؤمِنَّ‌ وَلَأَمَةٌ مُّؤمِنَةٌ خَيرٌ مِّن مُّشرِكَةٍ وَلَو أَعجَبَتكُم وَلَا تُنكِحُواْ ٱلمُشرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤمِنُواْ‌ وَلَعَبدٌ مُّؤمِنٌ خَيرٌ مِّن مُّشرِكٍ وَلَو أَعجَبَكُم أُوْلَـكَ يَدعُونَ إِلَى ٱلنَّارِ‌ وَٱللَّهُ يَدعُوٓاْ إِلَى ٱلجَنَّةِ وَٱلمَغفِرَةِ بِإِذنِهِ وَيُبَيِّنُ ءَايَـتِهِ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُم يَتَذَكَّرُونَ (٢٢١

Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe; a slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman even though she allure you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allure you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: that they receive admonition (221)

Tafseer from Dr Farhat Hashmi

Why Islam is important for Family Life


Marriage, love between man and wife and having a family is a very important part of Islam.

Marriage is the foundation of humankind while it satisfies our need for love, protection, and the propagation of ones family, it also demands security, continuity and comittment.

The equation of long term in a marriage

Thus if fear of Allah is an essential basis of a Muslim marriage, it weathers the storms of passion as well as the hurricanes of difficulties.  Thus a husband and wife traveling together in the journey of life, fear Allah then both partners fulfils the other persons needs of love, protection and kindness despite the ups and downs of life.

Agreement on a foundation between partners

It is important that both partners in marriage should agree on Aqeedah. Emaan and the concept of Shirk for if they do not they are at opposite poles. If the partners do not share the aqeedah of emaan, a woman may find her husband irreverent of the Quran or a man may find her wife eventually unattractive because she does not practice taharah.

This results in constant friction in everything and eventually spills into the next generation.

A Cause for resentment

Thus Allah Subhnawataala clearly states in this cornerstone of the foundation of family life that there is no compromise on Deen.

If one does compromise then life becomes a living hell at a very basic level, and with time one becomes extremely resentful of the compromise that one had to make in the very basis of ones beliefs.

The wisdom of Allah as a Matchmaker

Allah Subhanawataala in His infinite wisdom recognizes our weakness of allurement and there fore preempts this by saying:

Even if a man sees a very beautiful, attractive rich and agreeable woman who is very alluring who is not a believer. Then it is better to marry a simple believing woman even if she at this time does not seem alluring, meaning with time because of her emaan they will come closer in thought and action.

The Allah Subhanawataala addresses the same issue for women:

Do not marry your believing woman (addressed to the Wali) to a non-believer man; a momin slave is better than a very attractive prospective unbeliever.

The example given is that in marrying an Unbeliever is like putting your next generation in the Fire.

The nikah between a believing woman and an unbelieving man and vice versa is void because these unbelievers call the believers to the Fire (away from emaan and towards shirk) Shirk is Dhulm al Azeem. (An unforgivable sin)

Allah Subhanawataala is inviting you to jannah…….if one marries a believer than the two create homes with emaan and journey in the path of Allah together and gain Jannah together. Allah Subhanawataala offers you forgiveness.

Allah Subhanawataala forgives all sins if we repent, but the sin of Shirk is not forgivable.

What is Tawheed? There is no one like Allah, no one has His attributes, no one can give you sustenance, no one can be asked for sustenance.


Who is a Believer?

Some one who has emaan” who:

Believes in one God and Prophet Muhammad as his last Prophet

Believes in His Books with the Quran being the final one, which authenticates previous ones.

Believes in Angels,

Believes in the Prophets

Believes in the Divine Decree and the Will of Allah

The Day of Judgment

Who is a Mohsin?

Someone who does ehsaan.

Ehsaan : is giving others more than their due right.

Who is chaste?

One who abides by the rules of Allah in allowing appropriate access to ones privacy to appropriate people as designated by Allah Subhanawataala.

What is Tawheed?

There is no one like Allah, (Za’at) no one has His attributes, (siffaat)  (uloohiyat) no one can give you sustenance, (Ruboobiyat) and no one can be asked for sustenance. No one else is worthy of worship (Uboodiayat)

What is Shirk?

To associate others with Allah, in the above categories of tawheed.

Rasool Allah Sallalahu Alayhe wasallam said:

“Whoever establishes prayers during the nights of Ramadan faithfully out of sincere faith and hoping to attain Allah’s rewards (not for showing off), all his past sins will be forgiven”

One thought on “Whom Should I Marry? 2:221

  1. Brillian q and a. As for marriage, I think I am going to completely leave it to Allah swt. If it is in my destiny, give me what is best and may I be content with it and be closer to Allah swt. If it is not in my destiny, give me what is best and may I be content with it and be closer to Allah swt.

    I think after seeing so many people freak out about marriage, I think I believe that if I have hope and trust in Allah, He will take care of me.

    Love the article and sorry for the rambling.


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