THE THIRD ROOM………..

IMG_6945
I am in the first room with a lot of people they are all laughing and happy. It is a joyous occasion and I too am not sad…………..and yet I long to be in the second room.
The second room is the “lonely room” there is no one there except the rocks of my memories, the dark waters of “what ifs”, the Alligators of guilt and the sharks of Regret.
Why do I want to be in the lonely room when I can be in the first room with such a happy group of people, who are celebrating life?

The answer lies in what is at the other end of the lonely room………. I have to be brave to step into the murky waters of sadness, wade in the unknown depths of depression, avoid the Alligators of guilt and swim faster than the Sharks that can swallow me and then in their belly my skin will peel like Younus (AS) layer by layer as I am faced with regret………of actions not done.

I quietly leave the first room and wade into the lonely room, gently caressing the rocks of memories, worn down with the waves of time and sadness. I know that I cannot linger because I don’t want to drown in the murky waters, nor be swallowed by guilt or made immobile with fear of the sharks of regret………..

Thus from my past experience I begin my journey deeper and deeper into the lonely room, the words of Younus AS giving me company and tears, but never swerving from my initial purpose to reach the other side.

It had been on one desperate day that I had done the same and had swum the dark dank waters with all my strength, seeking……. seeking what? I did not know.

Guided by His (Subhanawataala’s) words coming from the lips of Younus (AS) in the belly of the whale, and I had found shore.

Climbing on to the sanctuary, small, the size of a musallah, which could barely hold my body in prostration, but lighted and protected from all predators and from the dark waters around me.

I remember I had fallen in prostration, with relief and a lightness and continued my salaat, my prayer, every supplication and surah that I knew by heart, again and again, tears streaming down my cheeks, entreating him to relieve my pain……….
And I remember distinctly a chink opening, and light streaming into the lonely room from the third room…………

I never knew that in this dark and lonely place there was an opening to the third room, I could smell fragrance, I could feel the fresh air, the sort of feeling when one comes out of cave into a verdant forest……….

Someone yells my name from the first room, I am needed, I have to fulfill my duties, and I must go back. I regretfully swim back and the door to the third room closes behind me.

Though I fear being lost in the dark waters of sadness and depression, I often long for the lonely room despite all its predators,………in the hope that I can cross it and perhaps this time enter The Third Room.

IMG_4083

" Which of our favors will you deny" Surah Rahman

4 thoughts on “THE THIRD ROOM………..

  1. Bismillahi Rahmaani Raheem
    Assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullah

    SubhaanAllah, all of our earthly life, we constantly and seamlessly move from room 1 to room 2, back and forth. Allah, swt sublimely encourages us to seek Him, swt during our traversing in either of these rooms – i.e room 3.
    How beautifully He, swt reminds us :

    وَأَنَّ إِلَى رَبِّكَ الْمُنتَهَى (53:42)

    53:42 (Asad) and that with thy Sustainer is the beginning and the end [of all that exists]; [34]

    وَأَنَّهُ هُوَ أَضْحَكَ وَأَبْكَى (53:43)

    53:43 and that it is He alone who causes [you] to laugh and to weep;

    وَأَنَّهُ هُوَ أَمَاتَ وَأَحْيَا (53:44)

    53:44 and that it is He alone who deals death and grants life;

    May Allah, swt help you, my dear friend and us find nearness to Him, swt, in our hearts in states of happiness and contentment or grief and loneliness.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s