I am not a father so what I say I speak as a mother. Allah (SWT) has created a special bond between a son and his mother; I always wondered what is the reason for this special bond?
I have always believed and practiced this that children of all sexes should be treated equally.
As I realized my special bond with my son, I also knew with a certainty within me that I loved my daughter just as much and each had his and her individual and irreplaceable place in my heart.

I know now that the bond that Allah SWT makes between mothers and sons is created for a special purpose. It is designed to create unmatched love between the two, early in life………..because as the mother grows old, and wizened with life, sometimes soured by time and ailments, taking care of her is the duty of the surviving son who is now young and strong.

The resulting product of age, disappointments and failing health in a mother are all very unattractive with the passage of time to the casual onlooker, but to the son who has this bond with his mother, to him she is always as she was. His vision is colored by this bond created by Allah to make it easy for him to take care of her in her cantankerous years.

Only that memory of childhood with his mother and the strong though unseen bond put in place by the Divine for a purpose, stays the tongue and impatience of hand of the young son. The son now an adult whose stride is longer and whose unbounded energy exceeds that of his old frail mother who can neither keep up with him nor last out his enthusiasm of life except in her duas.

Sometimes Allah SWT also takes into account that women outlive men and thus usually an old mother is left to the care of her son when her husband dies.

Allah SWT tests us parents particularly mothers with that bond. He tests us with death, with grief, with illness, with prolonged pain in the son and dysfunctional sons, and sons who do not make it in the eyes of dunya.

Sometimes sons injure themselves when they are unable to climb out of the black well of their dark world confined to their own self. Material goods their lack or surplus of it has nothing to do with their dark world.

For some reason their inner pilot light is weak or extinguished or living in the dark for so long has blinded them………I don’t know the answer; But I see them all around me…sons lost and stumbling in the dark, groping for the light.

For me I am trying to stoke my pilot light with the light of the Quran, which Allah SWT has promised is all the light I need to light my inner world and the world around me.

I see in my minds eye my mother with a dysfunctional son, sheltering him, giving him some of her light all her life.
Then there is me …….telling my son that he had a long life ahead of him and that I will not always be there to help him that he must seek help from Allah who is always there for him.

He telling me that I have him for: “the first twenty and he will have me for my last twenty…” The mysteries of the wisdom of Allah (SWT) are unbeknowest to me.

All these events, the blighted sons of some and the absence of others, as I see them, are tests from Allah: Whom do we love more, His creation (our children) from our wombs or Our Creator, the source of all Love and light?
I see myself and all the mothers around me stumbling to share their light with their sons who are in the dark, a light which may be too weak to light the path for two.

How can we find our sons their own source of light or strengthen ours so that it shines for all those around us?

How strong is your Light?

6 thoughts on “SONS…………………..

  1. Walaikum Asalaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatahu,
    Brother Anis, this too shall pass as we all will, but we will miss Nabeel, Tariq, Imran, Ebad and all our loved ones who have completed their journey before us.

    May Allah SWT forgive their sins and give them the highest level of jannah and may we join them with our efforts of sabr and salaat.

    With tears and rain comes the mercy of Allah.

    Our prayers were with you on Nabeels birthday and now.

    Please keep us in your prayers.
    Jazaaik allah hu Khairan.

  2. Dear Sister,
    Assalamualaikum. I hope you are doing fine. I had to pass through a difficult time during Nabeel’s birthday. The night of 13th was spent talking to my wife about the days gone by. We re lived our last 20 years. Somehow it was not that painful. Next day was spent praying for Nabeel. As usual the most painful part is not my loss but seeing my 90 year old father cry like a baby infront of his most favorite nati’s grave. Mina spent the afternoon with the kids that she is sponsoring. My mother was with her. There is no definition of this pain.
    Pray for us.

  3. Brother Anis , Do write and share with us Nabeel, your family and how you are? We pray for all of you, may Allah grant you sabr and solace. Ameen

  4. Asalaamaolaikum,
    This is truly a beautiful poem and Ameen to his celebration in Jannah.
    2o years ago Allah SWT sent joy to you in the form of Nabeel. He brought such comfort, kindness and happiness to you, your family and from what you have told me people around him.

    You and your wife did right by him and raised a good boy, who was sensitive to the needs of others despite having a lot himself. He was thus truly a loan to you from Allah SWT, a loan to teach you how to be happy, generous and light.

    When it was time for both of you to stand on your own feet and continue in the path of Allah by yourself, he (Nabeel) was recalled to Allah, because he had been sent for a purpose and for an “appointed” time as Allah SWT says in the Quran.
    What is left behind is your loneliness, and grief of loss and I know you miss him, and there is nothing wrong with that, even Prophet Muhammad had tears flowing from his eyes when his (PBUH) son at age two died, when asked, he said and I paraphrase that his tears flow because of the mercy of Allah.

    What is important is to remember that for you and your wife, your time in this world has not yet ended and you have a lot to do. The grief sensitizes you to others and allows the mercy of Allah to soften your heart and tears to flow.

    It is also important to remember that this parting from your dear sweet child is temporary and inshallah by your sabr and salaat you are earning the Jannah at whose door he awaits both of you, to accompany you into the Best Garden.
    May Allah SWT shower both of you and your parents with his Rahma, love and envelope you in His Love and Grace. My prayers are with you at this moment and at salaat inshallah.

  5. Dear Sister,
    My son, Nabeel’s 21st birthday is tomorrow the 14th. I feel like writing so manythings. But I am not feeling very well. I just wanted to share this poem written by his dada (my father) who is about 90, for this day:
    “This day the 14th June in the last twenty years,
    We celebrated Nabeel’s birthday with all cheers.
    This year the same day we celebrate only with tears.
    We pray that Angels celebrtae his first birthday after his eternal departure,
    in the Jannatul Ferdous, this year.”

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