I am stumped with the following three questions. I would like to hear from the readers of this blog, to share their best methods of handling these three areas. I am not asking for fatwas but what works for you personally and fulfills the tenets of Islam.

1. How to share the remembering of your loved ones who have passed away? (I have never forgotten them, but how do I share their memory with others, or should I? and how should others share it with me or should they? and what is the Islamic way?)

2. Should a woman go to the gravesite to read Fatiha for her loved ones?

3. How do you personally do Dawah?

I look forward to your answers

7 thoughts on “THREE QUESTIONS……………

  1. Jazaaik Allah hu Khairan! s
    Do study hard for the exam, summer is coming up and inshallah you will have plenty of internet time:)


  2. Asalam o alaikum:)
    You can pray for them. Do little big deeds that will earn you and your deceased loved ones, thawab. It’s not the most important thing to remember them vocally. You can think and pray, for everytime you think about them followed by a prayer, imagine how many prayers for them.
    I don’t think so. Allah(swt) listens to your fatiha anywhere. Haina? So why be specific. For me if there’s any doubt in a certain thing, I thing I tend to avoid it. His mercy is everywhere, His vision is unlimited, so do I need to specify certain places?
    If you take hijab for instance and people ask you why, Muslims/NonMuslims tell them why. Don’t feel offended. That could be your way of doing dawaah.
    Can’t post these days, end of school semester and internet at my place isn’t working.


  3. From FQ (personal correspondence)
    Assalamoalaikum wa rahma

    answers for your queries:
    remembering loved ones who have passed
    away, as simple as sharing your thoughts
    and letting it go
    where ever it leads to

    you do not need a format
    ” mujha Tariq bohat yaad aa raha hae”
    ” I wish I could talk to ammi about this”

    About praying for your son and ammi
    the fateha will be accepted no matter where/when you read it
    abbijan says it is in Saudi Arabia that they do not allow
    women to got the graves i.e., jannat-e baqi.
    This does not apply here
    Personally he thinks you can do
    what brings you personal satisfaction.
    He does know not know the Islamic position.


  4. Alhamdollillah! thank you for your very thoughtful answer.
    “it’s in their fitra so it is also to believe in Allah” I will try and remember that when I have a reflexic response that is wanting to come out.
    Jazaaik Allahu Khairan.


  5. Interesting questions…

    1. From my limited understanding and inexperience of losing many loved ones I don’t think I can answer this well. I guess we tend to talk about the various good qualities of the person, the good works they have done, the love they brought to our lives. People hold Khatams in honour of the deceased. Imam al-Haddad has a section on the ways the living can benefit the dead in his book “The Lives of Man” –

    2. Yes according to the Hanafi school –

    3. Great question. I believe different people deserve dawah (invitation) in different ways. Some people are put off by constantly having religion shoved down their throat, in fact I get put off by self righteous folk telling me to do this or dont do this or I’ll burn in hell. Some people DO benefit from stating harsh realities. But often not, a more subtle but potentially more powerful method of dawah is to first and foremost make sure you as an individual are living up to the high ideals of the deen, that we have purified ourselves from all the diseases of the hearts and the light of the deen shines forth from our words, actions and even our faces! We become proof that this religion is beautiful and the truth. Think of the narrations of about our Prophet (saw), men were intent on killing him (saw) but when they approached him their hearts melted and they fell in love with him (saw).

    In a time where most societies are spiritually bankrupt, where diseases of the hearts are not only rife but celebrated. I was told by a Shaykh (a visiting Shaykh from Syria incidentally) that we must realise every human being has traces of fitra within them, the light of Prophet Muhammad (saw), from whose nur the whole universe was created, this nur is within every individual. But kufr (literally means to cover over) has covered their hearts, veiled them from the Haqq. We must give dawah with this in mind. Never think you are better than the person you are speaking to, in fact think of yourself as lower, you don’t know that persons state with Allah when they die, and you don’t know your state.

    We must show the utmost ihsan in all our dealings, especially at work and in business. Look at the Yemeni traders, through their exemplary character and fairness in dealings places like Indonesia are Muslim. No swords were drawn against them and it is now the most populous Muslim country.

    To answer your Q of how I personally do dawah, I must be honest, I don’t know how often I consciously do dawah. I try to better myself so my non-Muslim friends around me see Muslims are a beautiful people, who should not be feared. Remind them of wrongs in the society, an English colleague (a beer drinking football fanatic) once said to me “Omar, I’ve noticed something about you, you never swear. That’s really good you know, swearing isn’t good, my gran hated it when I swore”. Most people know things like the yob culture is wrong, the selfish consumer culture is wrong, the war in Iraq is wrong, it’s in their fitra so it is also to believe in Allah.

    It is Allah who guides, if we are used as a means then alhamdulillah. Regardless we should always be fair, kind and treat all people with respect.


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