I am in the same place doing the same thing………..working on the blueprint from the imprint.

From a while ago……….
It is morning, after we have been up since before fajr. There are twelve of us at this retreat, one teacher and the rest students. Each one of us is a novice in her own way. The young women and some of the older woman have never done this before.

We woke up few hours before fajr, came to the prayer area, and started our tahajjud. Even though tahajjud is such an intensely personal prayer, somehow having the silent company of friends and daughters makes it comforting and soothing despite the early hour. Sleep is far away, as we learn from each other what to say in the long sajdah, the more experienced sharing with us the etiquette of prayer and communication with our Lord.

Soon it is time for Fajr, Sister H rises, and Sister N calls the iqama. All twelve of us fall in line silently and perfectly, adjusting our dress and our focus to connect with Him (SWT). For a split moment there is that feeling of intense anticipation and nervousness that one has before an important meeting. The desire to make sure everything is in order before we make the call to Him (SWT).

The evening before, Sister H explained how salaaat is a conversation with Allah so when we call with Alhamdollillah ………..He (SWT) answers. Thus as she begins the first rakaat, I notice that she pauses after each ayah. ……awaiting His (SWT) response. The surah read in the first rakat is long and her voice gives it a soft rhythm merging with the sound of the ocean, intensifying my desire to learn Quranic Arabic so that I could flow with the meaning.

After salaam, each one of us settles down for our morning adkaars. The sky is turning pink slowly as we ask Him for everything under the sky……….I always feel a little awkward doing this, asking Him for so much after such a short prayer, nevertheless it is a Sunnah so there is a reason for it if Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did it.
Some of the girls go out to walk on the beach. The sun begins to rise and we complete our duas and stand for Ishraaq.

After being up for Tahajjud, one thing is certain those two hours of sleep after Ishraaq is sweet.
After the short nap post Ishraaq, and breakfast, we move out onto the porch, which overlooks the ocean.

She opens the pages of Surah Naml……..who would have thought that the essential message in part of Surah Naml would be to organize your life…..the ants one of the worlds most organized creatures are detailed in here.
The second take home message in the Surah is that when we hear some news good or bad, confirm it, thus Suleyman (AS) sends the hudhud to confirm and bring back relevant information.
Thirdly, to think before acting and act with grace, this is illustrated best in the actions of Sulayman AS and Queen Sheba.

Finally, the concept of Shuraa (consultation) and non-violent resolution of problems, which is also, mentioned elsewhere in the Quran.

I have changed from the inside out, in these past few years. I have not changed my schedules at work and have not redefined my goals as I have been drifting, going where Allah SWT is taking me. It seems now that I need to make some changes in my life both at work and otherwise so that I can grow in my Deen and make my house in Akhirah……… I am here to brainstorm myself with the Quran, tafseer and lots of khalwah and reflection.

Please make dua that I come to the right recipe for the rest of what is left of my time in dunya. The goal being jannah.

What is your recipe for your path to jannah and a house in Firdous?


  1. Asalaamo alaikum Sister RM,
    If by Tarabi you mean the nafil prayers said in Ramadan in the early part of the night after isha, then both men and women can pray that in the mosque if you have one, and at home if it does not suit you.
    It is a nafl prayer, not fard (obligatory). If you can pray it in the mosque with your family, or even by yourself then more power to you!
    Women and Men have not been differentiated in prayer as far as I can tell except for the awra which differs in men and women.
    A good book to review for prayer is “Fiqh Sunnah of prayer” of if you understand urdu you can go to and under audiovisual listen to “Namaz e Nabwi”
    May Allah help us all to pray our fard prayers with khushu and then give us the desire and ability to pray the nafl prayers too.

  2. I’m Razia Mukhtar from New Zealand, Auckland…. I want to know one thing…. Mostly Fijian Muslim women never pray Tarabi Namaaz in the month of Ramdon… They said women do not need to pray Tarabi Namaaz… Is that right???? Please reply me….

  3. Asalaamoalaikum!
    ON: trial and error that is what I use with my technical products……..but life?

    S my friend, I reached that goal once only and want to reach it again, ……….I am still trying.

    JP For change inside out as you mention, has to come from self restraint.
    I had to deliberately cut out all negative reading, in the form of books, newspapers articles and email that was negative and sucked the spiritual life out of me.
    Then I had to take the trash out, i.e. not keep those memories and books articles etc that I migh t go back to in moments of depression.
    I trashed all the negative stuff, because I felt that what was not good for me how can I give it away to someone else to read or review.
    I ignore negative comments and when I am truly being affected by them, I try to say two rakaat of Istighfaar.
    This has brought great peace in my life, but it is an ongoing struggle as the negative stuff keeps popping up.
    We only have 24 hours in a day……….We have to decide how to spend them…..bringing in the trash and taking out the trash or living in a clean spiritual place and connecting to Him (SWT) in the manner He has offered to us; and I say offered because we have the free will to keep on collecting and perusing the trash if we want.
    In my humble journey, I have found that avoidance of what is evil and forbidden is as important as reaching out for the good.
    May Allah guide you and me and give us the perseverance to stay on His (SWT) path to Jannah.

  4. Beautiful words and sentiments asqfish. I understand what you mean by a change inside out. I have traveled on a similar path spiritually.

    There is so much that we are meant to achieve, but negative (suppressive) forces foreclose our growth. What is there to fear? Why do we doubt? There are many whose goal is to usher in a universal understanding. I appreciate you assuming that role with grace and willingness.

  5. ASAK
    my goal is to enjoy my salah as if I can see him, though I haven’t reached yet that level of ahsan in my salah so I can really get benefit from that peace and love of Allah SWT inshallah.

  6. Alhamdollillah! Allah SWT is taking you under his mercy rapidly as you move towards Him (SWT)
    For me I too was like you, but Tariq leaving us so suddenly to pass over to the other side, started my journey, but it was slow and the process is still slow.
    Dont forget to take the loved ones around you on this journey of Love of Allah with you. It will bring them a lot of comfort under the canopy of His (SWT) love and mercy.

  7. Frankly speaking I have never thought of relegion in such an intense way. To me it was like you say your prayers, some time recite the Quran, fast in the month of ramadan, go for Hajj when you are middle aged and give zakat during the month of Ramadan. I have seen my father and uncles do it in this manner. Praying came automatically without understanding most of what is being recited. Tarabi namaz was more of a mental strength then a spiritual journey. It is only after Nabeel left us that I have started looking at myself. Who am I, where am I going and what is the meaning of all these. I am gradually getting there, I think.

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