blue bridesmaid dress

My Dearest Daughter,
Asalaam o alaikum,
We have received the wedding invitation of your friend. I am very happy that she has found the right person to marry. May Allah give her peace and serenity in her marriage and guide her to the right path with sincerity.

She is a close friend of yours and inshallah she will be asking your opinion and advice in the coming days.

In giving advice, it is best to follow the methodology recommended in the Quran and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). You might say that my friend is not a muslim and why should I impose my belief and advice based on that belief on her?

The answer lies in your heart. Would you not want to share with one of your closest friend what you think and know from the bottom of your heart to be good, lasting and brings harmony in life?

This brings me to how you may impact on your friends positively or negatively by the advice you give them.

Every Christian and Jewish wedding that I have attended begins with the parade of young women (bridesmaids) who walk in a state of undress under the scrutiny of several hundred pairs of eyes of strangers. Unfortunately this is required by the bride that her bridesmaids be exposed to the maximum. I have often heard complaints from bridesmaids who are uncomfortable and resentful at showing that much skin in public.

As the bridesmaids pass by, I have heard people comment on their exposed flesh, either lasciviously or in a derogatory manner. After many years of listening to such remarks I see the wisdom of why muslim women and men are commanded to cover their (imperfect) bodies and only to uncover them to their spouses who are their “garments” and who in the partnership of marriage both hide their partners blemishes, and enhance their beautiful aspects on an ongoing basis.

So please give your friend good advice discouraging her from the half naked dresses of the bridesmaids, and if she insists then you have a choice to either bow out or ask her to give you special consideration of wearing a decent dress that will not expose your body to the general public to be leered at.

May Allah grant you the strength and guidance to discuss this sensitively with your friend as you always have done in the past and help her make the right decision and stay strong.

In your Hajj two years ago, the slate of your (Amaal) actions was wiped clean at Arafat. You have started your new young life with no sins or disobedience of Allah on it. Be careful what you write on it, carefully examining it continuously and preventing the disobedience of Allah to cloud its clarity.

Guard the sparkling purity of your slate of your Amaal (actions) carefully, as you have done, so far, preventing it from the splatters of filth, resulting from both the minor and major disobedience of Allah.

May He (SWT) give you the ability to spread the light of your inner goodness on your friends, your colleagues and your patients, with few words and more by a living example. Ameen

You are always in my prayers. May Allah bless you, protect you, and reward you for your efforts at being a good friend. Ameen.

With love,



  1. Pingback: JUNE READINGS 2011: SABR, QURAN & MARRIAGE… « Siraat-e-Mustaqeem

  2. Walaikum Assalam asqfish,

    I agree that Allah is perfect; He is the most sublime. But His actions must also be perfect; He does not create imperfection.

    Human beings were initially created perfect (not the perfect we associate with God,) but perfect in the ability to reach God and potential. Obviously, human error takes away from that perfection God created within us.

    Perfection also lies in God’s design in created the human body and mind for the purpose of reaching close to Him. So I would not say that something within our nature that God has given us is imperfect. I would rather say that the abuse of free will creates imperfection.

    And Allah is always the highest above everything so I am in no way trying to associate man with God.

    But of course, Allahu Alim. Allah knows best.

    Jazak’ Allah. And I love your blog! I wish I found it sooner.


  3. Asalaamoalaikum faith, thank you for your insightful note.
    It was my impression that the only perfection lies in Allah SWT and not in His creation, is it not so?
    Allah knows best.


  4. That is very wise. I find that letter to reveal the idea of inner strength in Islam. Often people think that strength relies on a person’s physical prowess, but I love how Islam stress the idea of internal courage and strength.

    The only concern I have with the letter is that it refers to human bodies as “imperfect.” I absolutely agree that they should be covered out of hayaa’ and worship, but I do not think human bodies are imperfect. Allah had created us in the best of forms. That is all I wanted to point out.

    Jazak’ Allah for sharing this!


  5. Most brides will be flexible if you tell them what you need… at least the good ones will. 😉 All of mine made it possible for me to wear hijab-friendly dresses. These days especially, when the trend is not to be quite so matchy-matchy, it’s easy to make it work. Congratulations to your friend, Shireen!


  6. Very good and wise advice from a mother to daughter. May Allah give Shireen, other young Muslims and all of us to align our actions with the commandments of our faith … Ameen.


  7. The best advice from a loving mom to a precious daughter given in the best possible way! My eyes filled with tears when I read it.
    May Allah SWT bless us all and our dear children and their families in both the worlds, Aameen.



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