Should Muslim Women Attend the Eid Salaat?

A masjid in South Africa

GUEST WRITER: FROM SOUTH AFRICA : Quraysha Yousuf

Many Scholars and Islamic Organisations are making Radio Announcements and sending notices telling women that they must not go for the Eid Salaat.

Have they justified their reasons and do you know the truth?

1) First we were told Hazrat Omar RA gave the final verdict: but do you know…

He only tried to discourage his wife and never commanded against all the Muslim women from attending! Because he knew he could not go against the hadith of the Prophet SAW which said: ‘Do not prevent your women from attending the mosque if they seek your permission to do so’ (Sahih Muslim).

2) Then we were told that it leads to fitna: but do you know… that at the time of the Prophet SAW a woman was attacked on her way to the mosque and this event did not motivate him from preventing the women to attend the mosque (from Silaat al-ahadeeth as-saheehah, Ahmed). Additionally, there is fitnah everywhere, are we justified in saying women make ‘fitnah’ when they come to the mosque? Is it not true that the majority of sisters who attend the mosques come with pure intentions?

3) Then we were told that Hazrat Ayesha RA said that if the Prophet SAW was present amongst us he would have prevented the women from attending the mosques: but do you know…that the Prophet SAW predicted and mentioned many ahaadith about women and their disobedience, their fitnas and their dressings, yet in spite of these prophecies and the many visions of the Prophet SAW of the women in Jahannam, he still said more than once ‘do not prevent the female slaves of Allah from attending the mosques of Allah.’ Allah mentions in the Quraan the saying of the Prophet SAW ‘today I have completed your faith for you…’ so to say that the Prophet SAW’s teachings and commands in this aspect is perhaps incomplete because he was ignorant of the times to come, is to go against the testimony of the Prophet SAW himself when he said ‘…today I have completed your faith your you…’ Also, Ayesha RA did not ban nor forbid any woman from attending the musjid and her statement is not considered a fatwa worldwide.

4) Then we are told that the majority of scholars agree that women must not attend the mosque: but do you know…that the majority of the Muslim populations around the world all have facilities for women to attend the mosque and encourage the women to come out especially for the Jummah, Taraweeh and Eid Salaat? That the scholars in Makkah, Madinah, Palestine, Syria, Egypt, Malaysia, Indonesia etc all consider it permissible! Do you know that in South Africa, the majority of the scholars in Cape Town (if not all) have given women the option to attend the Eid Salaat, that there is a split in Gauteng and KZN on this issue which when tallied proves that more scholars in South Africa support the actions of the Prophet SAW and his pious predecessors in allowing the women to attend the mosques and especially in encouraging them to attend the Eid Salaat.

5) Do you know that the Prophet SAW ordered the women to attend the Eid salaat and left no room for any excuses: Al-Bukhaari (324) and Muslim (890) narrated that Umm ‘Atiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) commanded us to bring them (women) out on (Eid) al-Fitr and (Eid) al-Adha, and to bring out adolescent girls, menstruating women and virgins, but the menstruating women were to stay away from the prayer, but were to witness goodness and the gathering of the Muslims. I said: “O Messenger of Allah, what if one of us does not have a jilbaab?” He said: “Let her sister lend her a jilbab.”

6) Do you know that the women used to pray behind the men in the Prophet’s mosque and that when the numbers of the Muslims started growing the Prophet SAW asked the men to keep one door for the women to enter.

7) Do you know that the scholars who do not give permission for women to attend the mosque will allow women to come to the mosque to listen to the speech of their Ustad’s and Muftis but consider it impermissible for the women to come to the mosque to listen to the Speech of Allah!

Do you know that Musjid al Nabbawi and Musjid al Haraam are MOSQUES- so one should ask these scholars if the home is best for the women, should muslim women pray all their salaat in the hotel rooms when on Umrah as they have said that women must not attend the mosques? Also, although the Prophet SAW said the homes are best, he still gave women the choice to attend the mosque and on Eid he commanded them to attend the prayer.

Do you know that the Prophet SAW would address the women in the Eid Khutbah and that when the daily salaat were finished he would ask the men to sit and wait for the women to first leave- showing the utmost respect and compassion and consideration for the women in Islam.

SISTERS FOLLOW THE WAY OF THE MUSLIM WOMEN OF THE PAST AND PRESENT-ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH THE MOSQUES AND WITH PRAYER, IT WILL HELP TO BUILD OUR ISLAMIC CHARACTER AND DEVELOP US AS MUSLIMS. BE MODESTLY DRESSED, FOLLOW THE HIJAAB CODES AND TEACH YOUR CHILDREN RESPECT OF THE MOSQUES. THEN TRANSFER THESE VALUES TO THE MEN.

Nostalgia: Ramadan in the Haram

Shekh Jouhany’s haunting voice reciting Yaseen in Taraweh:

And then this nostalgia of Hajj in Mecca  in Urdu:

RAMADAN REFLECTIONS: THINKING, SAYING AND………….DOING

Rehal & Quran from Syria

Before Ramadan, I am listening to the tafseer of the Quran by Dr. Farhat Hashmi online and I have all these ideas of what I am going to do in Ramadan.

It is Friday before Ramadan begins and the Imam in the Jumma Khutba speaks about controlling our tongues and our eyes and not to look for negative things in our fellow Muslims.

Hmmmm……… I think, and plan not to be irritated by the “minor” disturbances during prayer. As the eve of Ramadan approaches, I plan and plan……….. for isha and taraweh…………We eat an early and simple dinner, I read the translation of the juz and a quarter that the Imam may recite for Taraweh and head out to the mosque.

The first part of the drama enfolds with Isha. I move to the outer edge on the other side of the entrance so that I can situate my rehal and small copy of the Quran to follow the Imam in taraveh.

Some of the women come in late, jump over my rehal oblivious of what it is used for. Some children as old as five years, talk in a shrill voice and laugh loudly through out the taraveh. Some run up and down the room, jumping over chairs, working off the refined sugar and carbs their mothers lovingly fed them for dinner.

The recitation for the Taraveh is beautiful and I am able to follow it word by word in my copy of the Quran.

I notice as the rakats flow, my focus is eroded by what appears the loud talking of the older children, and finally I lose my place as to which rakat I am praying.

I try to focus by imagining being in the Haram on the hard marble floor with no musallah, no food in my stomach except some zam zam and a date, listening with rapt attention as the words of Allah resound around His House.

After Taraveh I approach the mother of one of the older children and ask her why she is losing such a wonderful opportunity to teach her daughter the etiquette of being in a mosque, of listening to the Quran attentively and the unique tradition of Taraveh?…………. she says, well………. my daughter cannot sit for “this long”.

At this moment my cynical self kicks in. Let me see how long it was?

It was one hour with three rests………..I thought to myself…………. how long is a movie? A minimum of one and one half hour!  Did I think her daughter had never been to a movies?  No I did not.

How long is the line at Disney World? A minimum of one hour in the blazing summer heat. Had this child of an affluent mother never been to Disney world, I doubt it! Had she not waited in the heat for the rides? I doubt it.

I realize the perspective of the parent is reflected on to the child………one hour of sitting quietly and listening to the words of God being recited beautifully, in a large air-conditioned room, with a full meal in the stomach is long, while watching a movie in a theatre for one and one half hour and sometimes two hours is not long?

Either the child in question or all the children had a disease of Hyperactivity or the colonialistic brainwashing of Pakistanis and Indians of priorities kicked in, with Tarbiyah of the child in Deen coming in last.

Well all said and done……….. I ruined any sawab I was going to get last night

I realized how far removed I was from the Sahaba of our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who did not even pay attention when a scorpion stung him seven times…………

Were the shrill, loud and annoying voices of these children and the attitude of their oblivious mothers, during prayer more irritable or more deadly than a scorpion sting?

I realized that my span between thinking, resolving and doing still has a long way to go before it is shortened and becomes one!

As I struggle to correct my attitude please keep me in your prayers!

ON THE EVE OF RAMADAN: SEARCHING…………

Sometimes we come across someone who reminds us of a son who is no longer with us

Sometimes the bridge across the waters of grief is strengthened with faith

Sometimes it takes multiple little flowers/individual with unity, faith and discipline to become an Ummah of beauty

Sometimes we have to learn from the blue heron, to rest quietly at Ishraaq after a night of tahajjud, fajr and dhikr.

Age does not dull the beauty of faith

The ducks seem to get along well in their group Dhikr and breakfast

How we maintain our Istiqamah in public reflects our faith for all to see

Even a drop (of Dawah) makes a ripple in the lake (our environment(

Sometimes in the fall of life, one can beautify The Path for others.

Common Mistakes Made During Ramadan

ROOH AFZA IN RAMADAN

GUEST WRITER: Asma Bint Shameem, Courtesy of FC

Most Muslims who fast Ramadan focus on the benefits and rewards of it. But in doing so, we often make mistakes that instead of adding to our experience actually detract from it. Mistakes that can make us commercialize Ramadan as so many other religions have commercialized their sacred days. Insh’Allah the following serves as a reminder to myself first and to all Muslims. May Allah help us to spend our time wisely this Ramadan and help us to avoid these mistakes. ameen

1. Taking Ramadaan as a ritual

For many of us Ramadaan has lost its spirituality and has become more of a ritual than a form of Ibaadah. We fast from morning to night like a zombie just because everyone around us is fasting too. We forget that its a time to purify our hearts and our souls from all evil….we forget to make dua, forget to beseech Allaah to forgive us and ask Him to save us from the Fire. Sure we stay away from food and drink but that’s about all.

Although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
‘Jibreel said to me, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person to who Ramadaan comes and his sins are not forgiven,’ and I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person who lives to see see his parents grow old, one or both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (by not serving them) and I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings upon you,’ and I said, ‘Ameen.” (Tirmidhi, Ahmad, others. Saheeh by al-Albaani)

2. Too much stress on food and drink

For some people, the entire month of Ramadaan revolves around food. They spend the ENTIRE day planning, cooking, shopping and thinking about only food, instead of concentrating on Salaah, Quraan and other acts of worship. All they can think of is FOOD. So much so that they turn the month of ‘fasting’ into the month of ‘feasting’. Come Iftaar time, their table is a sight to see, with the multitudes and varieties of food, sweets and drinks.. They are missing the very purpose of fasting, and thus, increase in their greed and desires instead of learning to control them. It is also a kind of waste & extravagance.

‘…..and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance) ‘ [al-Araaf :31]

3. Spending all day cooking

Some of the sisters (either by their own choice or forced by their husbands) are cooking ALL day and ALL night, so that by the end of the day, they are too tired to even pray Ishaa, let alone pray Taraweeh or Tahajjud or even read Quraan. This is the month of mercy and forgiveness. So turn off that stove and turn on your Imaan!

4. Eating too much

Some people stuff themselves at Suhoor until they are ready to burst, because they think this is the way to not feel hungry during the day and some people eat at Iftaar, like there is no tomorrow, trying to ‘make up for the food missed.‘ However, this is completely against the Sunnah. Moderation is the key to everything.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach; for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls are sufficient to keep his back straight. If you must fill it, then one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air.’ (Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah. saheeh by al-Albaani).

Too much food distracts a person from many deeds of obedience and worship, makes him lazy and also makes the heart heedless.
It was said to Imam Ahmad: Does a man find any softness and humility in his heart when he is full? He said, I do not think so.

5. Sleeping all day

Some people spend their entire day (or a major part of it) ’sleeping away their fast’. Is this what is really required of us during this noble month? These people also are missing the purpose of fasting and are slaves to their desires of comfort and ease. They cannot ‘bear’ to be awake and face a little hunger or exert a little self-control. For a fasting person to spend most of the day asleep is nothing but, negligence on his part.

6. Wasting time

The month of Ramadaan is a precious, precious time, so much so that Allaah calls this month ‘Ayyamum Ma’doodaat’ (A fixed number of days). Before we know it, this month of mercy and forgiveness will be over. We should try and spend every moment possible in the worship of Allaah so that we can make the most of this blessing. However, there are some of us who waste away their day playing video games, or worse still, watching TV, movies or even listening to music. Subha an Allaah! Trying to obey Allaah by DISOBEYING him!

7. Fasting but not giving up evil

Some of us fast but do not give up lying, cursing, fighting, backbiting, etc. and some of us fast but do not give up cheating, stealing, dealing in haraam, buying lotto tickets, selling alcohol, fornication, etc. and all kinds of impermissible things without realizing that the purpose of fasting is to not stay away from food and drink; rather the aim behind it is to fear Allaah.

‘O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)’ [al-Baqarah 2:183]

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Whoever does not give up false speech and acting upon it, and ignorance, Allaah has no need of him giving up his food and drink.’ (Bukhaari)

8. Skipping Suhoor (sehri)

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Eat suhoor for in suhoor there is blessing.’(Bukhaari, Muslim).
And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘The thing that differentiates between our fasting and the fasting of the People of the Book is eating suhoor.’ (Muslim)

9. Stopping Suhoor at ‘Imsaak’

Some people stop eating Suhoor 10-15 minutes earlier than the time of Fajr to observe ‘Imsaak’.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: This is a kind of bidah (innovation) which has no basis in the Sunnah. Rather the Sunnah is to do the opposite. Allaah allows us to eat until dawn: ‘and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night)’ [al-Baqarah 2:187]

And the Prophet (pbuh) said: ‘….eat and drink until you hear the adhaan of Ibn Umm Maktoom, for he does not give the adhaan until dawn comes.’

This ‘imsaak’ which some of the people do is an addition to what Allaah has prescribed, so it is false. It is a kind of extremism in religion, and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
‘Those who go to extremes are doomed, those who go to extremes are doomed, those who go to extremes are doomed.’ (Muslim)

10. Not fasting if they missed Suhoor

Some people are too scared to fast if they miss Suhoor. However, this is a kind of cowardice and love of ease. What is the big deal if you missed a few morsels of food? It’s not like you will die. Remember, obedience to Allaah overcomes everything.

Saying the intention to fast ‘out loud’ or saying a specific dua to start fasting

The intention is an action of the heart. We should resolve in our heart that we are going to fast tomorrow. That is all we need. It is not prescribed by the Shari’ah for us to say out loud, ‘I intend to fast’, ‘I will fast tomorrow’ or other phrases that have been innovated by some people. Also, there is no specific dua to be recited at the time of starting the fast in the correct Sunnah. Whatever ‘dua’ you may see on some papers or Ramadaan calendars, etc. is a Bid’ah.

11. Delaying opening fast

Some people wait until the adhaan finishes or even several minutes after that, just to be ‘on the safe side’. However, the Sunnah is to hasten to open the fast, which me ans opening fast whenever the adhaan starts, right after the sun has set. Aa’ishah (RA) said: This is what the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to do. (Muslim)

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘The people will continue to do well so long as they hasten to open the fast.’ (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Determine to the best of your ability, the accuracy of your clock, calendar, etc. and then have tawakkul (trust) on Allaah swt and break your fast exactly on time.

12. Eating continuously until the time for Maghrib is up

Some people put so much food in their plates when breaking their fast and continue eating, enjoying dessert, drinking tea, etc., until they miss Maghrib. That is obviously not right. The Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh) was that once he broke his fast with some dates, them he would hasten to the prayer. Once you are done with the prayer, you can always go back and eat some more if you wish.

13. Missing the golden chance of having your Dua accepted

The prayer of the fasting person is guaranteed to be accepted at the ti me of breaking fast.
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Three prayers are not rejected: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a fasting person, and the prayer of a traveler.’ (al-Bayhaqi, saheeh by al-Albaani).

Instead of sitting down and making Dua at this precious time, some people forego this beautiful chance, and are too busy frying samosas, talking, setting the food, filling their plates and glasses, etc. Think about it….Is food more important than the chance to have your sins forgiven or the fulfillment of your Duas.

14. Fasting but not praying

The fasting of one who does not pray WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. This is because not praying constitutes kufr as the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer.’ (Muslim)

15. Fasting and not wearing Hijaab

Not wearing the Hijaab is a major sin as it is obligatory for Muslim women. (See Surah Nur, Surah Ahzaab). So fasting and not wearing hijaab certainly takes away enormously from the rewards of fasting, even if does not invalidate it.

16. Not fasting because of exams or work

Exams or work is NOT one of the excuses allowed by the Shariah to not fast. You can do your studying and revision at night if it is too hard to do that during the day. Also remember that pleasing and obeying Allaah is much more important than ‘good grades’. Besides, if you will fulfil your obligation to fast, even if you have to study, Allaah will make it easy for you and help you in everything you do.
‘Whosoever fears Allah, He will appoint for him a way out and provide for him from where he does not expect, Allah is Sufficient for whosoever puts his trust in Him.’ (Surah at-Talaaq 2-3)

17. Mixing fasting and dieting

DO NOT make the mistake of fasting with the intention to diet. That is one of the biggest mistakes some of us make (esp. sisters). Fasting is an act of worship and can only be for the sake of Allah al one. Otherwise, mixing it with the intention of dieting may become a form of (minor) Shirk.

18. Praying ONLY on the night of the 27th

Some people pray ONLY on the 27th to seek Lailat ul-Qadr, neglecting all other odd nights, although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Seek Lailat ul-Qadr among the odd numbered nights of the last ten nights of Ramadaan.’ (Bukhaari, Muslim).

19. Wasting the last part of Ramadaan preparing for Eid

Some people waste the entire last 10 days of Ramadaan preparing for Eid, shopping and frequenting malls, etc. neglecting Ibadah and Lailatul Qadr. although, the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to strive the hardest during the last ten days of Ramadaan in worship (Ahmad, Muslim) and not in shopping. Buy whatever you need for Eid before Ramadaan so that you can utilize the time in Ramadaan to the max.
Aa’ishah (RA) said: ‘When the (last) ten nights began, the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam)) would tighten his waist-wrapper (i.e., strive hard in worship or refrain from intimacy with his wives), stay awake at night and wake his family.’ (Bukhaari and Muslim).

20. Iftaar parties

Although inviting each other for breaking fast is something good and encouraged, some people go to extremes with lavish ‘Iftaar parties’ with all sorts of disobedience to Allaah, from flirting, mixing of the sexes and hijaab-less women, to show-off and extravagance, to heedlessness to Salaah, and Taraweeh to even music and dancing.

It’s not too late to rectify ones mistake and do good for the sake of Allah. [15:49] Inform My servants that I am the Forgiver, Most Merciful.

RAMADAN AND THE ROLE OF CONTROLLING THE NAFS

The Green Reef, Belize

In every human heart there are four forces battling for supremacy and dominance. Three of the four are base in nature and the fourth which if empowered is the strongest and the most pure

Nafs has been defined as “self”, “ego “(not freudian), soul, and the inner force that dictates our actions at a subconscious level, translating them to a conscious level eventually by persuasion or force.

There are four components or forces within us, three of which (base) were given to us for survival but not for expansion or elaboration into those dictating our life.

The three base forces come under the umbrella of something that the scholars have identified as Nafs e Ammara.
These three forces are:

The first is Bahemi or cow like whose primary instinct is to eat, sleep, and copulate and is satisfied with these actions.
The second base force is predatory, and this force finds most pleasure in taking other persons property, dominating others and runs on the fuel of getting power and annexing more power.
The third force is Shaytaani, or related to Satan and this force is filled with a mean streak, which enjoys creating discord between two people, two communities, or even two nations.
The fourth force……….. Which is the spiritual force is the also called the angelic Nafs, this is the force that allows us to connect with the Divine.

God Almighty placed these four forces in the heart of our father Adam (AS), our mother Eve, and their progeny.  This was one way to distinguish them from other creatures. They were given a freedom of choice as to which force they wanted to foster the most, by determining what lifestyle they chose.

Thus as Ramadan approaches and Muslims prepare to battle the first three base forces of the Nafs, some succeed and many do not.

Ramadan heightens the awareness of these forces within us. Thus some of us make a concerted effort to overcome the base forces and nurture the Angelic Nafs, while others suffice by restraining from food in the day and filling up at night.

The spirituality of Ramadan lies in reigning in the wild Horse of the Nafs and gently, carefully and consistently nurturing the spiritual force within our hearts. This is best done with prayer, good deeds, consideration of others and turning away from materialism. One specific method of doing so is by actively divesting oneself of money and things that one likes, with no other motive except to please Allah (God)

It is quite a challenge for Muslims to have this inner struggle going on, dedicating time for prayer and remembrance of God, while denying oneself food and drink on very little sleep, in a remarkably secular daily schedule.

If one is successful in controlling the base forces acting upon the heart, then this allows the spiritual Nafs to grow stronger, guiding the heart towards God Almighty.

The reward of a successful Ramadan lies in the heart clarifying itself of the dominance of the base Nafs and its forces and opening up to the spiritual connection with God Almighty.
Thus during Ramadan, one recognizes success if, before, during and in between prayer, the light of His (Almighty’s) beneficence and Mercy floods the heart with happiness despite the physical cravings of hunger and thirst.

In the Quran God Almighty says:” Verily in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest” But that can only happen if the other base forces are restrained and allow the spiritual nafs to seek God and connect for the Barakah or the blessings to flow into the heart.

The month of Ramadan is the practice session for the Olympics of the upcoming eleven months. If the base forces are let loose after Ramadan, they can be fed and fattened to the point that they can sit on the angelic nafs and stifle it thereby cutting off all lines of communication with God Almighty. Thus eating less, sleeping less and remembering God often, in the formal prescribed manner as well as randomly in all forms and manner is the essence of Ramadan. A month of intense training for the rest of the year.

Living in the heat of the south with the long days, short nights and a remarkable lack of ambience for the restraint of the base forces, the fasting Muslim may forget the reason for fasting.  In some instances all he may earn at the end of the day would be an empty stomach and a thirsty tongue.

Although all year long we spend hours choosing foods, tasting and rejecting food, having food fights, and wasting food, Ramadan for Muslims and non Muslims alike is the ideal time to make a concerted effort to control our base instincts and nurture our spiritual force which lies within every human heart.

We will know the success of our endeavors during Ramadan in connecting us with our Creator, if we forget our hunger and feel our heart fill with light and happiness.

Ten Goals for Ramadan

Guest Article:

By Soundvision Staff writer

1. Eat, drink and be moderate

Almost all of us do it – once Iftar time hits, we just keep plowing food and drink into our mouths till it’s hard to move afterwards. And those of us who do it know this is totally contrary to the spirit of Ramadan, through which we’re supposed to learn self-control not self-indulgence. Let’s try to stick to the Prophetic rule on eating: fill our stomachs with one-third food, one-third water and one-third breathing space, even in Ramadan.

1. Give a dollar a day in charity…or five or ten

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was always generous but even more so in Ramadan. Let’s open our hearts and dig a little deeper in our wallets this year. Even less than a dollar a day adds up. Whatever you can give, it’s the intention that counts.

1. Memorize 4 new Surahs

Memorizing the Quran often seems like a daunting task. But the key is doing it in small bites. Since there are four weeks in Ramadan, try to memorize one new Surah a week. Start off with a short, easy one. Once you’ve started, you’ll build momentum and may even want to memorize a longer one the following week.

1. Go to Tarawih prayers

Post-Iftar, the first urge is to sleep after an exhausting day. But try your best to head out to the mosque for Tarawih prayers. Praying alone is wonderful, but doing it in congregation is fantastic. The community spirit is part of Ramadan’s blessings. Don’t miss it this year. If going every day is not possible, try going at least one week.

1. Attend the Tarawih prayer in which the recitation of the entire Quran will be completed by day 30
   

Call the local mosque and find out which day the Imam will be finishing the recitation of the Quran in prayer. Attend to not only hear part of the Quran’s recitation in prayer, but also participate in the heart-rending Duas that follow it.

1. Stop swearing and/or backbiting – with a special box

It’s hard not to shoot our mouths off when someone’s upset us. Whether we utter those four-letter words or backbite about someone to our family and friends, we know this isn’t the God-approved way of letting off steam. In Ramadan, when we want to build our spirituality, we’ve got to wage Jihad against our bad habits.

Try this: get a box and every time you catch yourself swearing or backbiting put some money in it. It could be a buck or less. The point is to choose an amount that makes it feel like punishment.

At the end of the month send the money to a charity or buy a gift for the person whom you’ve backbitten the most against.

1. Call/email your relatives

You’d think that given the easy access to email, competitive long-distance calling rates, phone cards, etc. these days, we’d keep in touch with family and friends more often. But the opposite seems to be the case, as we get caught up in life’s “busyness.”

Strengthening ties with family members and keeping in touch with friends is part of our way of life and an act Allah is very pleased with. This Ramadan, call family and friends or at least email them a Ramadan card and ask them how their fasting is going.

1. Go on a technology diet

Even if you work in the IT industry, you can do this. Avoid checking personal email and surfing the web during your fast. After Iftar, instead of plopping yourself in front of the screen, go to Tarawih. The same goes for the television. The point is to try to give our full attention to spiritual elevation this month.

1. Read 5 minutes of Quran a day…just five, if possible more, not less

Even if you feel you’ve got absolutely no time, set a timer or the alarm on your cell phone and find a relatively quiet place. You can read the first page of the Quran you open or follow a sequence. The choice is yours. The point is simply to connect with God through His revelation in the month of the Quran.

My note: I would not put a timer to stop, instead I would make dua that Allah SWT allow me to read and understand and make me stop only to complete my obligations but not otherwise.

1. Forgive everyone who has hurt you

Still got a festering wound from the fight with your friend last year? Still upset about something your spouse said during a heated argument? Or are you still bitter about the way your parents sometimes treated you as a kid? Let go of the anger and pain this Ramadan and forgive those who have hurt you. Forgiving someone is not only good for the body, but it’s also great for the soul. And in Ramadan, ten days of which are devoted to Allah’s forgiveness, shouldn’t we lesser beings forgive too?

If you find it very difficult to forgive everyone, forgive at least three people.

MY comment: Make a list of those you hold rancor against and then start the process.

Faith is an oasis in the
heart which will
never be reached by
the caravan of thinking

KG

Once upon a time Tariq had a friend named Im…………..

Once upon a time Tariq had a friend who lived with him, played with him and one day stepped out of this world with him.
It is after Thanksgiving and it is Ramadan; Tariq & his friend have decided to celebrate their birthdays together. It is Ramadan, so the Birthday issue, fasting issue and my exhaustion after a full day of work and fasting are all items that need to be factored in.
Negotiations with Tariq were always very interesting.
I am standing in the kitchen we have just completed a day of fasting, everyone is feeling good at different levels, gastronomically, spiritually and having had a successful day at school and work.
Tariq is standing besides me and says something like” Im and I have decided we will have an Iftar and Sehri at our house” I am taken aback that is a first. Iftar we have had many times but Sehri for a group of boys?
Sleepovers have been a banned activity in my home, which has bought me the label of “the meanest mom in the world”. In distress, I ask my mother; my sounding board if I was being too harsh and if I would loose the love of my children? To which she replied “you are not here to please your children but to set them on the right path (right path? Siraat e-mustaqueem?)
My mind races with delight, an iftar and a sehri with prayers etc with Tariq and his friends is a great idea to bring deen in their play life. I smile and he continues “ we can do it on my birthday”. It sounds reasonable.
He carries on “Im, Osman, Javed & I will set up some computer games for the people coming to have stuff to do during the night. This is a typical Tariq negotiation, I think to myself. First, he shows you what a great idea it will be and then fills in the details to his liking. I agree.
It is the first night that I have stayed awake all night, checking on the boys every now and then making sure the games they were playing were clean. At the four am mark, I find Tariq fast asleep in one of the sleeping bags in the living room. I go to the other room and find Im fast asleep in a sleeping bag. The rest of the boys are fighting sleep.

Cakes and goodies arrive for Sehri with Im’s family and are served to a bunch of sleepy boys who are quite full from all the nighttime snacking. They pray fajr and fall over in the deep sleep of youth.
It is another day, I arrive home to find Im and Tariq at our home, which was a normal occurrence. Tariq wants to know what is for dinner, when I tell him. His and Ims face light up. Im calls home “I am staying at Tariq’s for a little bit”. We eat dinner; both boys relish what I have cooked which is something very simple. They enjoy every bite, and then they tell me they are going to Ims. Probably to eat another meal and keep both families happy.
When I think of Im, his angelic innocent face swims in front of my eyes. I would often think, if he knew how handsome he is, he would take the world of women by storm. What I was unaware of was that he knew and yet never used that asset in a manner that would be Casanovish.
This is another day; Im and Tariq are at our home. Today I have several options in food and drink. My conversation with Im would go something like this:”Im what would you like” and I would list the options. He would say “whatever Tariq is having” Tariq would return from the other room and I would ask “Tariq what would you like?” And I would list the options and he would turn to Im and say “ Im what would you like?” and Im would say “whatever you are having” and Tariq would turn to me and say “ I will have whatever Im is having”. I laugh and serve them everything I made.

It is winter break of 2004/05 Tariq and Im are home from college and hanging out together. Tariq in his usual manner says “whatsup Mom” and then informs me that “Im and I are going to Hajj next year”. I am speechless with joy.

It is July 13, 2005. I am rushing home from the office for lunchtime; I am home to fix something for Tariq, as he is going to Atlanta with Im for a concert. I look at the sky, it is clear. I had forbidden them last week from going to Atlanta as the weather had been inclement, and they had both agreed though reluctantly.
“Mom we can’t eat we have to go pick up Ebad.” “Why?” I ask, “Is he going to the concert?” Tariq replies “, he is going to Philadelphia to meet his parents” I am puzzled, “Why can’t he take the shuttle?” I ask.
“Mom he has already called all over town and the shuttle and he does not have a ride” Tariq responds patiently, then he put his hand on my shoulder and reassures me that in this way they will help Ebad since they are going in the same direction. Little did I know that the Lord was sending them in the same direction. Meanwhile Im rushes up the stairs to pick up the tickets for the concert, he shows them to Tariq, who nods and Im pockets them. There is an air of serious urgency tinged with elated anticipation in them.
“Wait” I say “take some brownies. Shireen baked them last night”. I open the pan it is empty except for a corner piece, I look at it disappointed, Im picks up the corner piece, wraps it with great love and says “ Aunty, The corner piece is always the best isn’t it?” his face angelic his words sincere. He and Tariq wave at me at the door and it closes behind them…………forever.
Tariq had a friend. Tariq said, he was everyone’s friend, but he lived with Tariq, played with him and went away with him …………..Out of this world, journeying together to another one. Friends eternally!

Wealth and sons are the allurements
Of life of this world:
But the things that endure,
Good deeds are best
In the sight of thy Lord, as rewards,

and best as (the foundation for) hopes
Quran 18:46
He truly was a zeenah (beauty) in this dunya for all of us, bringing grace, friendship and gentleness into the realm of our mundane daily life. May Allah keep him close, and may he never be far from the fragrance of Jannah.

CAN YOU GIFT THE REWARDS OF A TAWAAF?

It was the second most difficult tawaf that I performed in the last ten days of Ramadan. As it was to be a gift it seemed to have been predetermined that I was to work harder to earn the blessings and reward:
I can feel the heat of the sun even though it is around threeish, we just finished asr prayer and I am rushing downstairs to perform tawaf. I am in a state of urgency as I have just discovered that one can perform tawaf and transfer the rewards of the blessings to a loved one who is living. My impression had been that it could only be done for the dead. This spurs me on to perform a tawaf as a gift I have wanted to give to someone for a long time but did not know how to.
As I take the back stairs from the second floor where we are in Itikaaf in the women’s section to the Kaaba, I have the company of a crowd who is going in the same direction. Descending the stairs to the Babe Umrah, we spill out into the courtyard with what seems like a million other people who have the same intention as I. I melt into the crowd going in the direction of the Hajre Aswad where the Tawaf begins and I start preparing my niyyah.
I wonder what am I going to say? It is almost an excruciatingly personal dialogue, both with me, the person I am dedicating this to and to my Lord. I am going to verbalize what I have not even said aloud to myself, it is a moment of submission, the stripping off of another layer of superficialities, of buried grievances, hidden doubts, shrouded desires, and unspoken wants, and wells of regret and resentment which need to be filled with the zam zam of forgiveness. It is going to be a major effort to erase the what ifs….from my vocabulary, and eventually remove the ghosts from the corridors of my mind.
Lost in my thoughts, I move like a musician moves her fingers in a symphony finding her place in the orchestra and the lines on the score. I am now looking down at the marble floor at my feet as I walk. Searching where the tiles become narrow which will indicate that I am at the Hajre Aswad and I can begin my Tawaf. Looking down I approach the tiles as they narrow, I look up, the green light is to my right and the Hajr e Aswad seems far away and to my left, you always keep your heart towards the Kaaba as you perform tawaf to keep it connected with Him. As if in a surreal movie, I see the men in Ihram around me raise their arms to give the salutation, I am ready, I make my niyyah, this is for him I say to my Lord, he knows who I am talking about. I give my salutations and start my glide, through the crowd. This is a sophisticated crowd of worshippers, there feet speak to the pavement, they have a relationship with this courtyard, they have walked this path every Ramadan for the past ten, fifteen and sometimes twenty years, I am the rookie, and yet I feel like a seasoned worshipper, I feel the avenues open, the lines of communication fall in place and the static of the world stops as I connect with my Lord.
I am aware of the intense heat and the rivulets of sweat snaking down my back, “we are sweating our sins off” I recall Victoria remarking and I smile. As I walk my mind and heart focusing on what I need to do and say, the surroundings recede into the mist of the heat, I have all the time in the world. I am in a silent movie, where He is listening to me and me alone, for some reason I have His ear, and his indulgent undivided, unhurried attention.
I organize my prayers for the seven circles. The first of the seven circles of the tawaf is divided in thirds. The first third is my submission to my Lord, I accept his supremacy, His perfection, His power over all things and I praise Him. The second third of the circle is my istighfaar, for all I have done, for all I may do and for all that I have the ability to do and asking Him to prevent my doing so. This follows my plea for forgiveness. I am astounded at my confidence in asking Him to not only forgive all my past mistakes but to prevent any more absolutely no more mistakes! I feel He is looking down on me indulgently, I hesitate, perhaps that is too much to ask on the first go, but I am reminded that He can do anything, anytime and his forgiveness is boundless. All this seems trite in writing, but at this moment the channels are open and I am in conversation with Him, more like a soliloquy, which starts off in earnest after I complete my second third of the circle and my Istighfaar, I then ask and I ask and I ask. For him and for me and for us and for our children both alive and dead. I ask for his happiness, his health, peace and comfort in his heart and emaan.
I have always wondered what do you give a man who has everything in the world and what he really needs you cannot give him. I cannot give him peace in his heart, the love of his dead son, the well spring of emaan that brings sabr and shukr and submission to Allah, and take the tears out of his eyes and give him joy in the Hereafter. How does one give these as a gift? I do not have the power to award these to him.
I start on my second circle I am now even further away from the Kaaba which means the circle is going to be bigger in circumference and the tawaf will be longer, but it does not deter me. It gives me more time to pray, to ask for forgiveness, for love, for peace, for harmony and emaan and so many other things which seem an impossibility in my day to day life and his.
As I ask Him for His bounties, my hesitations and self recriminations fall to the way side, my petty desires, my own wants and needs take a back seat, this tawaf is for him, I focus on his needs, his desires, his armaan, his wants and his prayers………..and while doing so for a split moment the fear of being replaced enters my mind, a waswasa of the shaitan, what if he is happy without you someone whispers in my ear, and I pause, what if……. I think? Only the good Lord knows what will make him happy, if being without me is what will make him happy so be it. I think, it is perhaps the most unselfish prayer I have made for him. I pray for our daughter may she be the coolness of his eyes and mine. I pray that we meet our son in Jannat al Firdous along with our daughter, and I move on to the next circle making my salutations each time I approach the Hajre Aswad.
Thirty years of love, passion, fun and frolic, beautiful children, trials and tribulations, loss and sadness, all fall from my lips as prayers, of thankfulness for his naimah and forgiveness for our mistakes and supplications for the best for our future both in this world and the next.
As the swirls of heated mist rise from the base of the Kaaba and ascend, I feel my prayers being lifted up to His throne by the angels. The heat is like a palpable entity separating me from the other pilgrims, cocooning me in this midday sun, opening up the personal passages of communication with Him, I am now talking to Him, conversing, telling him of our difficulties, our sadnesses, our grief, thanking him for the naimahs the blessings He has continued to give us in this world, asking Him to vouchsafe the best for the Hereafter. The salute to the Hajre Aswad and the rukne Yemeni, are like punctuations in my rambling prayer which go on and on.
In the last circle, after the rukne Yemeni I raise my hand to say Rabana atayne fid dunya…. and suddenly the face of Imran’s father rises in front of me, sad, disheartened, his eyes without hope, I pray for him, for peace in his heart and the best in this world and the Hereafter. I dedicate the rest of the circle to the Augusta community asking Him to give us the best in this world and in the Hereafter.
I am now completing the final circle, the seventh, the sky is pink, which means that Maghrib is close, I have been in tawaf for a long time, and yet I feel light of heart, though drenched in sweat, my tawaf booties which have prevented me from getting blisters feel tight, perhaps my feet have swollen. I think of our Prophet sallallahy alayhe wasallam standing in Qiyam al Layl so long that his feet swelled, I guess I have earned a sunnah. The physical discomforts fade as I give my final dua and ask Allah to give the reward of this tawaf along with all the prayers to the sweet heart of my youth, my companion of thirty years.
I melt out of the crowd as I had melted in, unnoticed and unhampered to pray in front of the Muqaam e Ibrahim, my heart confident that my gift has been accepted by Him to be awarded to my requested recipient when He so deems fit. Ameen.

What is Ramadan to me?

* Being awakened in Karachi with the aroma of freshly cooked rotis
* Going to sleep with a suspicion that my mother may fail to wake me for Suhoor because I am not yet of age to fast.
* Being teased by my brothers to see if I would loose my temper during my fast.
* Walking four miles to visit Khalaji and the maghrib adhaan coinciding with the aroma of freshly fried pakoras
* During med school doing a trauma operation and forgetting that I am fasting till a nurse puts a cup of juice to my lips under my mask to open my fast and wondering if the cup was clean.
* Fasting the last day of Ramadan, and spotting the Eid moon and regretfully realize that I am on call on Eid.
* While rotating in the Well baby Nursery at St Mary’s as a pediatric intern, running across the compound before dawn to Anjum’s apartment to drink tea and eat suhoor together. Thinking of it as a great adventure, at the same time worrying about our patients.
* Traveling to interview for residency and missing a fast, and feeling guilty while eating lunch.
* Paul arriving in Brooklyn with five friends and his sibs to open his fast at my apartment and then drive to a mosque in New Jersey to take Shahada and accept Islam.
* Realizing that you cannot get married in Ramadan, and the reasons for it.
* Walking the streets of Cairo with Paul and buying mangoes to open the fast, and being surprised at finding sweet mangoes in a place other than Pakistan.
* Walking out of the Hotel in Cairo to hear disco music with young people spilling out of the nightclub and registering that with surprise, Muslim country? Ramadan?
* August in Lahore, an oven, fasting and burning my bare feet while running across the compound of the Badshahi mosque.
* Sightseeing Lahore from morning to evening while fasting in the intense heat, and being considered insane by the locals.
* Threatening Tariq that if he did not wake up with the first call for Suhoor, there would be no second call.
* Discovering instant parathas for suhoor.
* Discovering the ultimate luxury of sweet sleep half hour before Iftar, being awakened by Ammi to a fully cooked and served meal.
* Having my children around me eating, laughing and enjoying the suhoor I made.
* Making Ramadan action packages with Hina for the mosque school.
* Being surprised when Shireen makes feta pastries for Iftaar, which turn out to be more delicate & delicious than mine.
* Inviting Muslim and non-muslim children from the community for Iftaar and making giant chocolate chip cookies.
* Having the first Chand raat Mehndi party in Augusta with all the girls at our house.
* Praying maghrib together at home with each child leading alternately.
* Planning to read the Quran everyday and feeling guilty when unable to do so.
* The sheer pleasure of a simple cup of tea at Iftaar
* Discovering the humungous crowd that turns up at the mosque for Iftaar and then disappears for the rest of the year.
* Drinking Rooh Afzaa in milk at the mosque Iftaar and almost gagging with the level of the sugar in it and then drinking some more.
* Talking too much at Mosque Iftaar and missing the magic half hour before the fast opens when no dua is denied.
* Being appalled at the amount of food in the trashcan at the mosque after iftaar, and feeling helpless in preventing it.
* Secretly admiring the women who can stand for Taraweh everyday, and planning to join them some day but never making it in time.
* Being irritated by the children running around in circles at the mosque at Iftaar till I discover that one of them may be mine.
* Suhoor and Iftar become boring when the children leave for college
* Suhoor and Iftaar become simple after the children leave for college.
* Planning a Ramadan Iftaar at Agnes Scott and being surprised when more non muslims turn up at the Iftaar than muslims.
* Having no memory of the Ramadan after Tariq died.
* Being unable to either cook or eat an “instant’ paratha without missing Tariq
* Anticipating Ramadan as a stepping-stone to salvation.
* Looking forward to Ramadan and not to Eid.
* Discovering a wealth of spiritually uplifiting information on Ramadan in the talks by Mokhtar Magroubi on the CD simply titled “fasting”
* Being deeply touched by the Swarthmore students dedicating their last Ramadan Program at Swarthmore to Tariq, before they graduate.
* Being surprised at how many young men and women from Tariq’s college (Swarthmore) kept fasts to support their muslim friends.
* At the Ramadan night at Swarthmore college feeling the love for Tariq.
* At the Swarthmore dinner turning the brochure to see Tariq looking across Parrish with this message from his friends:
“Thank you for sharing your love and joy with us and for being the incredible person you were. You inspire us and bring us hope every day. We will forever think of you and miss you dearly” and the words becoming blurred.
* Walking through the Swarthmore campus knowing that Tariq will never return to these paths and yet feeling the love of his friends and colleagues reach out to me.
* Walking to the soccer field and then to the train station under the starlit night, with Tariq’s friends and Laila, suspended in a state of affection with no definitive end in mind.
* Tiptoeing through Ashton House in Swarthmore at dawn going down to the kitchen to prepare and eat Suhoor while the campus sleeps.
* Praying together with MSA students at Parrish, with Humza’s meticulously beautiful recitation of the Quran and wondering how this very young person could have learnt tajweed so well.
* Laughing with Baba Ali and his comic depiction of “life in the United States” at the Swarthmore Ramadan dinner.
* Imagining Tariq fasting at Swarthmore and seeing him in my minds eye open the package of “finger baklava” and imagining his joy.
* Placing the bouquet of roses on Tariq’s last resting place, a gift of love from his friends at Swarthmore.
* Listening to Shireen and the young medical students grapple with the issues of life and death and responsibility as muslims over iftaar at our house and realize how naïve I was at their age.
* Being thankful for being healthy enough to fast.
* Looking forward to spending Lailatul Qadr (The night of destiny) in the House of my Lord, feeling the spirit and the angels descend and spread “peace on us till morning comes”
Ramadan kareem