WHO IS THE LOVE OF MY HEART?

As the weather cools, and the humid heat lifts from the air, it is replaced by this feeling of endless time, which to me means that fall is settling in.

In my residency days it meant I had to drive out to the old part of town where the leaves of the old oak trees were turning to gold, red and orange……….. my favorite colors.

As the pages of my life turn towards the last third of my life, fall has meant preparation of the children going to college and then the anticipation of their coming back at Thanksgiving.

Unlike other Holidays Thanksgiving at our house was always stress less for me, as Paul makes the turkey and the sides have gotten fewer with the passage of time. Images of people I love, times gone by fill my brain as I reminisce who I was and who I am becoming.

IMAGES……..

Thus it was a wrenching experience at my first retreat on Tazkiyah Nafs where the Shaykh said “in order to fill your heart with Allah Subhanawataala, we have to empty it of other images” and he was not referring to idols.

At that time, not understanding the wisdom if it. I was deeply resentful when I heard that. Did he mean that I had to empty my heart of all those I deeply loved? The very thought was obnoxious and unacceptable.

TRUE LOVE…

As I have studied the concept of the “Love of Allah” I realize that you can only have ”one true love”. Now comes the moment of truth: who is that going to be? Is it going to be a human in the form of a lover, a child, a mother or a profession? Or is it going to be The Divine.

NAFS..

As I have studied, experienced and struggled with challenging my Nafs, I have found it to be a strong adversary. Perhaps sometimes even stronger then Shaytaan. Since Shaytaan is a known quantity and is external it is possible to bar its entry into ones life by remaining vigilant.

However the Nafs is such an intrinsic part of us given to us for survival that if I become careless for even a moment, it fattens up and sits on top of my spiritual endeavors and suffocates my spirituality and my heart.

LOOK WHO IS IN YOUR HEART!

The example used by the Shaykh, which floored me, and left me floundering despite my rationalization, as I found myself “guilty”, was as follows:

He said: “ There is a Sahih Hadith of RasoolAllah peace be upon him, as follows: “Angels (carrying the mercy of Allah) do not enter a house that has images of living things or dogs”

He continued: “and if the Angels (with the Mercy of Allah) do not enter a home with images of living things than how can we expect Allah Subhanawataala to enter our hearts if they are filled with images”.

But…………but, but………a thousand rationalizations flash through my mind, but none of them stand up to this scrutiny of evidence.

RAISING THE BAR…….

After all only one in one thousand believers will enter Jannah. This selection process thus raises the bar, and sifts out the weak and the lazy with or without rationalization………..

The question is where do I stand with this? Am I up to this marathon, which is gearing up, with my Nafs?

……………..And where are you?

RENEWAL OF THE SPIRIT………….

THE WEIGHT ON OUR SPIRIT

As we walk our daily life, we carry weight, which if not shed on a daily basis becomes so heavy that we sometimes collapse with it, and implode with spiritual exhaustion.

Inside us is the gift of “fitra” a pure, clean and pristine gift from Allah Subhanawataala. It is what we do on a daily basis that eventually hides or covers it to the point that it can no longer be our test for integrity and authenticity.

HE KNOWS…..

Allah Subhanawataala in His infinite Wisdom knew that the children of Adam will weigh themselves down with their negative actions and he provided us with a means to neutralize those negative forces within us and to lighten the load.

Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him, told us that when ever a person sins, be they large sins as in watching pornography or small as in using the company phone for a personal call, a small black dot is placed on our heart. As these dots increase, our heart which is the mirror of our soul becomes covered with a veil comprised of the coalescence of several black dots and eventually our heart becomes blind and unable to feel what is right and what is wrong, and thus we can no longer call upon it to vet our actions for truth anymore. I guess in the classic English language such a person is referred to as “a black hearted person”.

I DON’T SIN

You may say…”I don’t sin” but we know in the inner most recesses of our heart that we do.

Jesus (AS) said to those who wanted to stone the sinner “Let him who has never sinned throw the first stone” and there was stunned silence.

We know in the recesses of our subconscious that we all sin , some we call minor, some major, and these actions have weights attached to them which are then loaded on to our spirit.

We sometimes tell what is called small lies, we break our promise (ehad) of arriving at a certain time and we don’t, we eat non halal food because we don’t want to make the effort or wait to get truly halal food etc etc.

We of course do not admit this to anyone, and sometimes not even to our conscious brain. But as time passes with each sin, each lie, each infraction on the purity of our fitra, we along with the black dot on our heart are given a small load to carry.

As this load increases our spirit is burdened and sadness (huzn) depression, and spiritual exhaustion slow us down. Thus slowly and unremittingly squeezing the joy out of living.

The secret to the renewal of the spirit, energizing it and propelling into a direction that will bring us the best in this world and the best in the Hereafter comes from the simple formula practiced by Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him:

He (peace and blessings be upon him) we are told rid himself of the weight on his spirit seventy times a day even though he (PBUH) was the purest of the purest…………

Allah Subhanawataala has given us two ways one to rid the weight and two to never to put it back on:

1. FORGIVENESS: (ridding ourselves of the weight)  To ask for forgiveness from Him of all the sins of the day and night. This can be done five times a day so that you shed the weight on your spirit after every Salah and rise rejuvenated and re energized, this is provided you know what Istighfaar means and you are saying it from the heart and enumerating the sins and Khatahs that you have done since the last Salah, and also those that your conscious mind may not be aware of.

2.INVITATION TO RETURN TO HIM (Prevent putting weight back on the spirit)

In a special hour of the night when the entire world pertaining to us is asleep, Allah Subhanawataala puts aside the veils of the night to listen to anyone on earth who wishes to ask for his forgiveness and promise to never repeat those sins and khatahs (khatahs are sins that you know are sins and you still do them).

In this special hour he also closely listens to those of us who wish to return to His path (Tauba) and promise to renege our previous behavior. For those sincere entreaters He (Subhanawataala) opens the highways to Him, and lighten their spirit so that the journey is easy and joyful.

HOW TO LAY DOWN YOUR BURDEN (When and how to do it):

He Subhanawataala gives us a structure in a day to remind us to shed the weight that is burdening our spirit, first with Salah and then with Tahajjud (the last third of the night) and then in His infinite Mercy for those of us who are still disobedient of His rights…………he opens the options to any minute of time and gives us permission to lay down our burden of sins, with Istighfaar and Tawba.

There is small caveat to His promise of lightening our load and that is that we in all sincerity promise never to repeat that sin……….and why wouldn’t we? Why would we want to reload our spirit with something that will weigh it down?

If we are too proud to use this formula or have gone beyond the levels of all human decency in our sinful behavior He (Subhanawataala) even then gives hope if we ask and attempt to return towards Him:

“La taknatu mer Rahmatullah”

Never give up hope of the mercy of Allah

Capetown penguins sincere in their committment to their mates for life.

FROM SOUTH AFRICA

I am in South Africa and I meet her in the retreat…………She says to me “ I hear we have something in common,………. you too are a bereaved mother” and then she shares her story with me where she was brought to sanity from the edge of grief that was killing her:

HER STORY…….

She hesitantly begins, intermittently gauging my ability to weather the tragedy of the story, the detail of which I will not go into here. She has been through a series of personal tragedies, losing two sons over two years, two grandchildren, and their mother, a robbery leaving her empty handed………by this time, she is perplexed and going crazy with grief.

SEARCHING FOR SOLACE

One day she goes to a very wise and pious member of her family and lays down her grief in front of him and asks for help………..

He asks her “how much are you willing to do to set down the burden of grief and calamities?”

“Whatever it takes,” she replies.

She returns and begins her litany……………one million istighfaar that is the goal.

She makes an appointment every night at Tahajjud to talk to Allah Subhanawataala. As time passes she feels lighter, none of the circumstances have changed, her children are still dead and she has lost her fortune, but she feels lighter every day.

One day she meets a woman who is dying and needs money for her children………..and thus begins her Tauba transformed into her work in the path of Allah not only to help this desperate woman and her children but all women with cancer, their families, finding them help, raising money for them, where she does not have any herself.

“This does not happen in one day………” she says as she looks at me with sympathetic eyes passing on a silent message……….. Sharing the secret of renewing ones spirit, from one grieved mother to another.

Common Mistakes Made During Ramadan

ROOH AFZA IN RAMADAN

GUEST WRITER: Asma Bint Shameem, Courtesy of FC

Most Muslims who fast Ramadan focus on the benefits and rewards of it. But in doing so, we often make mistakes that instead of adding to our experience actually detract from it. Mistakes that can make us commercialize Ramadan as so many other religions have commercialized their sacred days. Insh’Allah the following serves as a reminder to myself first and to all Muslims. May Allah help us to spend our time wisely this Ramadan and help us to avoid these mistakes. ameen

1. Taking Ramadaan as a ritual

For many of us Ramadaan has lost its spirituality and has become more of a ritual than a form of Ibaadah. We fast from morning to night like a zombie just because everyone around us is fasting too. We forget that its a time to purify our hearts and our souls from all evil….we forget to make dua, forget to beseech Allaah to forgive us and ask Him to save us from the Fire. Sure we stay away from food and drink but that’s about all.

Although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
‘Jibreel said to me, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person to who Ramadaan comes and his sins are not forgiven,’ and I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person who lives to see see his parents grow old, one or both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (by not serving them) and I said, ‘Ameen’. Then he said, ‘May Allaah rub his nose in the dust, that person in whose presence you are mentioned and he does not send blessings upon you,’ and I said, ‘Ameen.” (Tirmidhi, Ahmad, others. Saheeh by al-Albaani)

2. Too much stress on food and drink

For some people, the entire month of Ramadaan revolves around food. They spend the ENTIRE day planning, cooking, shopping and thinking about only food, instead of concentrating on Salaah, Quraan and other acts of worship. All they can think of is FOOD. So much so that they turn the month of ‘fasting’ into the month of ‘feasting’. Come Iftaar time, their table is a sight to see, with the multitudes and varieties of food, sweets and drinks.. They are missing the very purpose of fasting, and thus, increase in their greed and desires instead of learning to control them. It is also a kind of waste & extravagance.

‘…..and eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allaah) likes not Al-Musrifoon (those who waste by extravagance) ‘ [al-Araaf :31]

3. Spending all day cooking

Some of the sisters (either by their own choice or forced by their husbands) are cooking ALL day and ALL night, so that by the end of the day, they are too tired to even pray Ishaa, let alone pray Taraweeh or Tahajjud or even read Quraan. This is the month of mercy and forgiveness. So turn off that stove and turn on your Imaan!

4. Eating too much

Some people stuff themselves at Suhoor until they are ready to burst, because they think this is the way to not feel hungry during the day and some people eat at Iftaar, like there is no tomorrow, trying to ‘make up for the food missed.‘ However, this is completely against the Sunnah. Moderation is the key to everything.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach; for the son of Adam a few mouthfuls are sufficient to keep his back straight. If you must fill it, then one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air.’ (Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah. saheeh by al-Albaani).

Too much food distracts a person from many deeds of obedience and worship, makes him lazy and also makes the heart heedless.
It was said to Imam Ahmad: Does a man find any softness and humility in his heart when he is full? He said, I do not think so.

5. Sleeping all day

Some people spend their entire day (or a major part of it) ’sleeping away their fast’. Is this what is really required of us during this noble month? These people also are missing the purpose of fasting and are slaves to their desires of comfort and ease. They cannot ‘bear’ to be awake and face a little hunger or exert a little self-control. For a fasting person to spend most of the day asleep is nothing but, negligence on his part.

6. Wasting time

The month of Ramadaan is a precious, precious time, so much so that Allaah calls this month ‘Ayyamum Ma’doodaat’ (A fixed number of days). Before we know it, this month of mercy and forgiveness will be over. We should try and spend every moment possible in the worship of Allaah so that we can make the most of this blessing. However, there are some of us who waste away their day playing video games, or worse still, watching TV, movies or even listening to music. Subha an Allaah! Trying to obey Allaah by DISOBEYING him!

7. Fasting but not giving up evil

Some of us fast but do not give up lying, cursing, fighting, backbiting, etc. and some of us fast but do not give up cheating, stealing, dealing in haraam, buying lotto tickets, selling alcohol, fornication, etc. and all kinds of impermissible things without realizing that the purpose of fasting is to not stay away from food and drink; rather the aim behind it is to fear Allaah.

‘O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)’ [al-Baqarah 2:183]

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Whoever does not give up false speech and acting upon it, and ignorance, Allaah has no need of him giving up his food and drink.’ (Bukhaari)

8. Skipping Suhoor (sehri)

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Eat suhoor for in suhoor there is blessing.’(Bukhaari, Muslim).
And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘The thing that differentiates between our fasting and the fasting of the People of the Book is eating suhoor.’ (Muslim)

9. Stopping Suhoor at ‘Imsaak’

Some people stop eating Suhoor 10-15 minutes earlier than the time of Fajr to observe ‘Imsaak’.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: This is a kind of bidah (innovation) which has no basis in the Sunnah. Rather the Sunnah is to do the opposite. Allaah allows us to eat until dawn: ‘and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night)’ [al-Baqarah 2:187]

And the Prophet (pbuh) said: ‘….eat and drink until you hear the adhaan of Ibn Umm Maktoom, for he does not give the adhaan until dawn comes.’

This ‘imsaak’ which some of the people do is an addition to what Allaah has prescribed, so it is false. It is a kind of extremism in religion, and the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
‘Those who go to extremes are doomed, those who go to extremes are doomed, those who go to extremes are doomed.’ (Muslim)

10. Not fasting if they missed Suhoor

Some people are too scared to fast if they miss Suhoor. However, this is a kind of cowardice and love of ease. What is the big deal if you missed a few morsels of food? It’s not like you will die. Remember, obedience to Allaah overcomes everything.

Saying the intention to fast ‘out loud’ or saying a specific dua to start fasting

The intention is an action of the heart. We should resolve in our heart that we are going to fast tomorrow. That is all we need. It is not prescribed by the Shari’ah for us to say out loud, ‘I intend to fast’, ‘I will fast tomorrow’ or other phrases that have been innovated by some people. Also, there is no specific dua to be recited at the time of starting the fast in the correct Sunnah. Whatever ‘dua’ you may see on some papers or Ramadaan calendars, etc. is a Bid’ah.

11. Delaying opening fast

Some people wait until the adhaan finishes or even several minutes after that, just to be ‘on the safe side’. However, the Sunnah is to hasten to open the fast, which me ans opening fast whenever the adhaan starts, right after the sun has set. Aa’ishah (RA) said: This is what the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to do. (Muslim)

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘The people will continue to do well so long as they hasten to open the fast.’ (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Determine to the best of your ability, the accuracy of your clock, calendar, etc. and then have tawakkul (trust) on Allaah swt and break your fast exactly on time.

12. Eating continuously until the time for Maghrib is up

Some people put so much food in their plates when breaking their fast and continue eating, enjoying dessert, drinking tea, etc., until they miss Maghrib. That is obviously not right. The Sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh) was that once he broke his fast with some dates, them he would hasten to the prayer. Once you are done with the prayer, you can always go back and eat some more if you wish.

13. Missing the golden chance of having your Dua accepted

The prayer of the fasting person is guaranteed to be accepted at the ti me of breaking fast.
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Three prayers are not rejected: the prayer of a father, the prayer of a fasting person, and the prayer of a traveler.’ (al-Bayhaqi, saheeh by al-Albaani).

Instead of sitting down and making Dua at this precious time, some people forego this beautiful chance, and are too busy frying samosas, talking, setting the food, filling their plates and glasses, etc. Think about it….Is food more important than the chance to have your sins forgiven or the fulfillment of your Duas.

14. Fasting but not praying

The fasting of one who does not pray WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. This is because not praying constitutes kufr as the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Between a man and shirk and kufr there stands his giving up prayer.’ (Muslim)

15. Fasting and not wearing Hijaab

Not wearing the Hijaab is a major sin as it is obligatory for Muslim women. (See Surah Nur, Surah Ahzaab). So fasting and not wearing hijaab certainly takes away enormously from the rewards of fasting, even if does not invalidate it.

16. Not fasting because of exams or work

Exams or work is NOT one of the excuses allowed by the Shariah to not fast. You can do your studying and revision at night if it is too hard to do that during the day. Also remember that pleasing and obeying Allaah is much more important than ‘good grades’. Besides, if you will fulfil your obligation to fast, even if you have to study, Allaah will make it easy for you and help you in everything you do.
‘Whosoever fears Allah, He will appoint for him a way out and provide for him from where he does not expect, Allah is Sufficient for whosoever puts his trust in Him.’ (Surah at-Talaaq 2-3)

17. Mixing fasting and dieting

DO NOT make the mistake of fasting with the intention to diet. That is one of the biggest mistakes some of us make (esp. sisters). Fasting is an act of worship and can only be for the sake of Allah al one. Otherwise, mixing it with the intention of dieting may become a form of (minor) Shirk.

18. Praying ONLY on the night of the 27th

Some people pray ONLY on the 27th to seek Lailat ul-Qadr, neglecting all other odd nights, although the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ‘Seek Lailat ul-Qadr among the odd numbered nights of the last ten nights of Ramadaan.’ (Bukhaari, Muslim).

19. Wasting the last part of Ramadaan preparing for Eid

Some people waste the entire last 10 days of Ramadaan preparing for Eid, shopping and frequenting malls, etc. neglecting Ibadah and Lailatul Qadr. although, the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to strive the hardest during the last ten days of Ramadaan in worship (Ahmad, Muslim) and not in shopping. Buy whatever you need for Eid before Ramadaan so that you can utilize the time in Ramadaan to the max.
Aa’ishah (RA) said: ‘When the (last) ten nights began, the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam)) would tighten his waist-wrapper (i.e., strive hard in worship or refrain from intimacy with his wives), stay awake at night and wake his family.’ (Bukhaari and Muslim).

20. Iftaar parties

Although inviting each other for breaking fast is something good and encouraged, some people go to extremes with lavish ‘Iftaar parties’ with all sorts of disobedience to Allaah, from flirting, mixing of the sexes and hijaab-less women, to show-off and extravagance, to heedlessness to Salaah, and Taraweeh to even music and dancing.

It’s not too late to rectify ones mistake and do good for the sake of Allah. [15:49] Inform My servants that I am the Forgiver, Most Merciful.

Manic Screaming…………..

We should make all spiritual talk simple today
God is trying to sell you something but you don’t want to buy

That is what your suffering is:
your fantastic haggling
your manic screaming
over
price.

–Hafiz

THE TONGUE: AN INSTRUMENT OF DHIKR OR……….

I guess I would now be classified as a retreat veteran and yet when ever I open my notepad with pen poised, what I hear from the Shaykh is never a repetition of before but something new and energizing………

Does this mean that I have come along some, on the path of Tazkiyah? or does it mean that I missed part of what he said last time due to inattention? or my brain and my heart just did not register it as they were not ready to accept this new concept of living?…………..or a possibility that may be true but difficult for me to admit is that my Nafs and my arrogance stood like a wall when some of the things were said?

When I had first started on this path I wondered why I was here at the retreat. What would I learn from a bunch of lectures, early mornings, late nights and patience and prayer that I could not do by myself?

As the time at the retreat unfolded, after the initial discomfort of my body, my heart and mind started to transcend the physical discomfort and dive into the Shaykh’s method of teaching, which he describes as:
“We learn to do” and “We do to learn”
It is only when you have sat for what seems like a very long time between Asar and Maghrib repeating the evening Dhikr that you realize, there is a hyperactive child within you that wants to get up and go………..the hyperactive inattentive child or is it the headstrong brat of my Nafs that want to get it done and be over with it and go out.

It is only when the Nafs is patted down on the head repeatedly, quietened with a consistent discipline and not given attention that it finally calms down. It is then that the first opening occurs in the true connection with Allah Subhanawataala…………..it may last a few seconds, minutes or even longer if you have better control of your Nafs.

Thus it was the “doing” that I practiced and have continued to practice with the morning evening Dhikr after fajr and as often as I could after Asar that finally brought me to a point in this retreat when I actually began to enjoy the Dhikr with the slow passage of light from Asar to Maghrib in the skylights of the musallah.

As the words of Dhikr left my lips and ascended to my Creator, It brought me an intense feeling of being loved and enfolded in a sensation which can be translated into happiness or security…………even though fleetingly.

“Doing, teaches us more than listening to teachings,” said the Shaykh and I am living proof of that. Three retreats ago, I could not fold my feet to sit in Tashahud to do my Dhikr; I changed posture uncountable times in an hour. Overcoming the Nafs in me that pestered me like a hyperactive brat, by “doing” finally got me past the brat.

The morning Dhikr which is my favorite. I guess because it is long and it takes me a little while to get warmed up. This Dhikr comprises of a series of stunningly comprehensive masnoon supplications that engulf the physical, emotional, and personal needs at every level that one can think of. No wonder Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him, did this Dhikr on a regular basis………….

It also is a protective shield from all evil things and obsessive ill thoughts. When I read the translation of the supplications I can recognize why. Hidden in the simple though potent words, are supplications that protect you, bring blessings on you, shower you with spiritual, emotional and physical health and protect you from the arch enemy of our father, Adam (AS) and his progeny.

“Dua or supplication is emphasized as an essential part of being on the Path of the Seeker”

“Thus the Dhikr is………….to beg Allah, to be prayerful in heart, mind, soul and tongue”

“The lack of dua is a sign of “kibr” or arrogance……….says Allah Subhanawataala in the Quran, and recommends the abd (slave) to often be in dua.“

“Prophet Muhammad pbuh had long stretches of quietness…….as he was constantly in Dhikr”

The tongue can either be in idle chatter or in Dhikr…….thus we as Muslims are taught to be reflective of what we say and to say only what is meaningful, true, sincere and beautiful (with ehsaan). Even better is to remain silent and be in Dhikr.

This permission to remain silent has been one of the most stress releasing aspects that I was introduced to at the retreat. I have always been “the mediator” all my life and have taken it upon my self to entertain the wall flower, to be the liaison between two strangers etc etc……….I was happy to learn, though it took quite some time (three retreats☺) before I could actually be happy and not feel guilty, not to talk and be in silent dhikr.

Our voice is an instrument…………we can use it in so many ways……….Allah Subhanawataala  instructs us in the Quran….”shield your voice” or “lower your voice”.
Luqman (AS) advice to his son in the Quran is:
“And be moderate in thy pace, and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of the ass.” 031.019 Yusufali’s translation:

The final words of the Shaykh regarding this aspect were “Guard the tongue, it was put behind two prisons (the lips and the teeth) for a reason” It can lash out and say things that cannot be recalled, or say things to fill the sound void and then we become responsible on the Day of Judgment for each word uttered.

Silent Dhikr………………it took me three retreats of “doing” to know what it means and what happens when you actually “do” it!

Excerpts and reflections from the Retreat on Tazkiyah Nafs 09 with Shaykh Mokhtaar Magroubi (Most of the the statements in inverted comma’s are quotes from the Shaykh)

The Adhkaars (Dhikr) after Salah can be found at :http://ibnayyub.wordpress.com/2007/12/29/adhkaar-after-salah-sheikh-haitham-al-haddad/

ARRIVING AT THE RETREAT FOR TAZKIYAH NAFS………….

I am at the airport and they are here to pick me up along with the other retreaters. This time, I am not stressed, I know that whatever arrangements Allah SWT has planned for me to get there will happen.
As the car ascends the mountains, in a caravan, packed with the retreaters I feel the tension ebb away from me…………I literally feel that I am going to be deposited at the beginner’s point of the hike to The Path of the Seekers of Allah.

How presumptuous of me……….nevertheless my heart lifts as I go deeper and deeper into the mountains and only the blocking of my ears tells me that I have also made a literal ascent of the body and not only of the heart and soul.

Why do I feel elated?  Is it because this is the third time and I know what to expect or is it because I have dropped all presuppositions and allowed myself to float like a leaf in the river of faith, allowing it to take me wherever the Divine hand guides it.

I no longer try to steer my path, nor try and change behavior of my companions, I make a mental note that it is myself that I will need to adjust. Why am I here for the third time, I know the answer to that……I am a slow learner.

This time I have no need to talk, to get to know others, nor do I feel responsible to keep a conversation going. I enjoy the permission that I have been given, to remain silent.

When I reach our room in the lodge, I do one thing different that I have learned from my travel companion V. I unpack daily essentials and organize them in the appropriate places. I make sure that I have the right things available for the right activities without having to search for them, and I head to the basement or the musallah.

As I step on the last stair that always creaks the loudest when there is a latecomer for salaah, I feel I am home. The room smells musty like a home that has missed its dwellers. The crisply clean green carpet welcomes me; I am told at another time that the Christian camp owners especially fixed this carpet and this room for the Muslim retreaters.

I think of King Nagashi. Did he not help the Muslims in time of dire need and then did his heart not turn towards the ultimate submission to the one God………..I wonder at the red haired man who runs the camp, he sits in one of the salaahs with his feet folded like a Muslim who has spent his life on the musallah and I wonder about his heart…………… And so begins the introduction of the retreat which holds the map to the hiking trail for the Seeker of the Almighty………..

HIS CHEST WAS OPENED AND………………..

He was screaming and while sobbing related what had happened. She could not make head or tail of it. When he quietened some, still intermittently sobbing softly with awe and fear, the tale unfolded………..

They were shepherding, it was broad daylight and the sheep were grazing quietly and then this ………….man? being? came and split open his foster brother’s chest, took out his heart and washed it, and put it back in his chest and his foster brother’s chest closed as if no harm had come to it.

She held her sobbing son to her……….and thought to herself of her foster child and peace came upon her: ………so that was the explanation of this wondrous orphan child.

His presence had brought such barakah and blessings to their home and their sheep. The milk, she could not understand the milk…….. it flowed as if it would never end. She had known then that he was someone blessed, and now she was sure of it.

Bibi Haleema disentangled herself from her sobbing son, and went in search of her foster child………

Who was this blessed child and who had come to him and opened his chest?

Excerpted from Martin Lings biography of the Prophet (PBUH) titled “Muhammad” (peace and blessings be upon him)

Photo courtesy of:http://www.flickr.com/photos/29630435@N04/3300344115/

WHAT YOU READ A LOT, AND A LITTLE IN JANUARY 09

WHAT YOU READ A LITTLE……:

WHY WERE THE NIGHT & DAY CREATED? 6:
MY HANDS………………..
MORNING DHIKR ON THE OCEAN: IN PICTURES
ONE HUNDRED THINGS ABOUT DHIKR (27-50)
HE IS LOOKING FOR ME………..
KILLING OUR CHILDREN,THEN AND NOW 6:137,
IN SILENCE LIES THE HEART OF SPIRITUALIT
LEAVE THOSE WHO MAKE FUN OF DEEN 6:70
PREPARATION FOR UMMRAH
THE THREE STAGES TO REACH TAQWA 6:152 YOU READ THESE POSTS AGAIN AND AGAIN: Does Islam Allow Muslim Men To Marry Non IN PREPARATION FOR YOUR FRIEND’S WEDDI Hijab a la Syria THE CONCEPT OF SABR (PATIENCE) IN ISLAM Why Can’t I Be Like Other Children…… What does Palmyra have to do with Khuoof THE VIRTUES OF MUHARRAM THE MORNING STAR About FOR MY DEAREST DAUGHTER ON HER BIRTHDAY.

KHALWAH: SPIRITUAL SECLUSION

Reflection after KHALWAH

Nothing benefits the heart more that a spiritual seclusion, whereby it enters the domain of true reflections.

Before Khalwah

Have you tasted the rewards of Khalwah (Spiritual Seclusion)?

PURIFICATION OF THE HEART: KHALWAH

There are four practical aspects of cleansing the heart the first one being:
KHALWAH: To decrease intermingling we are offered the concept of Khalwah as a practical method to begin the journey to cleanse our hearts in order to find the path to Allah.

Khalwah is defined as “being with one self”

Khalwah is beneficial for the one who secludes himself in Khalwah as well as for the people he or she is secluded from.

The Holy Quran, the Hadith, and the examples of the lives of all the known Prophets of Allah illustrate this habit. Allah SWT rewarded Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him, with the embrace of Gabriel (AS) who brought him His (SWT) message after he (PBUH) had sought khalwah in the Cave of Hira for a long and consistent period.

Khalwah has a purpose: For the Khalwee it is to detach from people, relationships, virtual or actual, habit of reliance on others, in order to evaluate oneself in the light of our Deen and the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah.

Khalwah is getting off the treadmill of life’s activities to evaluate the health of ones mind, body in it s service to the Qalb (heart).

In Khalwah one cuts the cable for incoming data (temporarily for a specific period) and explores and evaluates what has been saved on the hard drive of the brain. After one has sorted the trash from the treasures on this hard drive, one then purges the corrupted and irrelevant data along with the trash. After restoring the integrity of the hard drive and making space for new data one then puts in this new data through salaat and sawm and seeks the help of Allah via Istighfaar and Dhikr e Elahi.

Khalwah or being along without the purpose and focus of cleansing ones inner self and subjugating the lower Nafs and without closing the doors to incoming data generated by the nafs may further cloud the lens of the heart;

Thus being in Khalwah with the Internet, TV, movies or other methods in which one is still in contact with all the possible venues of the disobedience of Allah defeats the purpose.

While in Khalwah one evaluates:
1.    The status of our level of subjugation by our lower Nafs.
2.    Our past mistakes or disobediences to Allah SWT
3.    The extent to which ones heart is clouded due to the excess of the above two forces.
One then, while still in a state of Khalwah sets about to cleanse the heart with removal of all thoughts, actions, past and present from ones daily living. One then plans for the life outside khalwah to be modulated in a manner that it embodies the purpose of continuing to cleanse the heart.

Khalwah is not just a one time happening in the life of the student who is learning the basics of the purification of the Heart for the purpose to see and follow the path of happiness to Allah with his heart.

It is an ongoing process in which from time to time the Khalwee plans a period of khalwah to take stock of life events and directions and to reorient his or her life in the right direction.

Khalwah can be as brief as the salaat and the ensuing Dhikr afterwards occurring five times a day, or as long as a retreat somewhere, or even just a day at home cutting of all incoming data.

Khalwah is a circle of safety in which when we place ourselves we not only protect ourselves from being covered with the grime of disobedience, but in doing so we may also protect others from our base Nafs which may be on the loose.

In summary Khalwah is being with ourselves to clean out our insides and start a rejuvenating program to walk the path of Happiness to Allah guided by the cleansed lens of our pure Heart. It involves keeping the wild horse of our lower Nafs strictly in control and pointed in the direction of Siraat e Mustaqeem, while we are seeking guidance from Allah SWT

Khalwah is a practical process that is needed by every student or Moreed who wishes, yearns and struggles to stay on the path that will eventually lead him to Allah (SWT) giving him or her bursts of immeasurable happiness enroute and at his or her destination.

(Excerpted from the lectures of Sheikh Magroubi at the retreat on Tazkiyah e Nafs 08, for details CDS are available on Purification of the Heart at www. Zawiyah.net)