NOSTALGIA: DUA TO ENTER THE MASJID

There are holes in the line where my friends stood in Jumma and now they are gone……………..

Right as we speak they are entering the Masjid el Haraam and as they lay eyes on the House of My Lord, they are stunned and speechless…………………….I close my eyes and I am with them, right beside them gazing at the House of our Lord, and I too am speechless………..

The doors of the Masjid el Haraam:courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/53967601@N00/2335040068/

The dua for entering the Masjid

‘I take refuge with Allaah, The Supreme and with His Noble Face, and His eternal authority from the accursed devil. In the name of Allaah, and prayers and peace be upon the Messenger of Allaah.

O Allaah, open the gates of Your mercy for me.’

I close my eyes and I am there, I open my eyes and I pray that I will soon be there, Inshallah!

A PERSONAL LETTER……………15:26-52

The letter from Him:courtesy of:http://www.flickr.com/photos/estherase/152531067/

Have you ever received a letter from a loved one who cares about you?

In it he tells you he loves you that he will take care of you forever, that everything in the past is forgotten because of the words of apology that I had uttered in my last conversation with him.

He promises that this exile will soon be over and I will be able to return to the comfort, security and beauty of His home, where I will lack no comfort, where extreme luxury will not be synonymous with hedonism, where I will not tire nor become bored with the beauty of the environs. He promises to be there for me and that I will have no illness nor physical discomfort and he will gather me in his arms and soothe all the pain and sadness away……………forever

I am sitting in the computer room and out of this electronic apparatus come His soulful words soothing me, rejuvenating me, promising me a vision of my future, comforting me, holding my hand in His and showing me the beauty of The Gardens, warning me from the fire, giving me examples of the mistakes people make, with graphic stories of the past, reminding me of the promise of one of His creatures Iblis to wreck vengeance on the children of my father.

As the words fade and sink into the recesses of my heart and brain, I am bemused into a state of tranquility and I wonder where have I been all these years.

An image rises in my brain of my great Aunt sitting on the bed reciting the Quran, the most peaceful expression on her face, stopping to talk to me with a smile and then carrying on as if she was in the middle of a page-turner thriller and that she could not wait to find out what happens next.

I now understand her absorption. At that time I thought she recited the Quran out of duty and because she was old and had no other interests. Little did I know that she also was reading her personal letter from Him and could not wait to get back to it and that the mundane activities of daily life were merely an interruption to this love missive from her Lord.

I no longer question why the message He gives me with his words springing out of the Musaf are just for me, and that someone else finds his own personal message in those very words.

I am no longer surprised that His message of love and warning to behave myself while I am here and to warn me of the pitfalls and my enemy are for time immemorial and for every one of His creatures………….for even I at different stages of my life have gone back to find His words to give me a guide map and have been able to do so.

It is His miracle and He has mesmerized me with His words and with the vision and goal He has shown me.

Will I be able to reach it in the time I have left?

Inspired by the recitation of Surah Hijr by Sheikh Al Afasy ayahs 26-52

and here is the beginning of the Surah:

WHO IS THE LOVE OF MY HEART?

As the weather cools, and the humid heat lifts from the air, it is replaced by this feeling of endless time, which to me means that fall is settling in.

In my residency days it meant I had to drive out to the old part of town where the leaves of the old oak trees were turning to gold, red and orange……….. my favorite colors.

As the pages of my life turn towards the last third of my life, fall has meant preparation of the children going to college and then the anticipation of their coming back at Thanksgiving.

Unlike other Holidays Thanksgiving at our house was always stress less for me, as Paul makes the turkey and the sides have gotten fewer with the passage of time. Images of people I love, times gone by fill my brain as I reminisce who I was and who I am becoming.

IMAGES……..

Thus it was a wrenching experience at my first retreat on Tazkiyah Nafs where the Shaykh said “in order to fill your heart with Allah Subhanawataala, we have to empty it of other images” and he was not referring to idols.

At that time, not understanding the wisdom if it. I was deeply resentful when I heard that. Did he mean that I had to empty my heart of all those I deeply loved? The very thought was obnoxious and unacceptable.

TRUE LOVE…

As I have studied the concept of the “Love of Allah” I realize that you can only have ”one true love”. Now comes the moment of truth: who is that going to be? Is it going to be a human in the form of a lover, a child, a mother or a profession? Or is it going to be The Divine.

NAFS..

As I have studied, experienced and struggled with challenging my Nafs, I have found it to be a strong adversary. Perhaps sometimes even stronger then Shaytaan. Since Shaytaan is a known quantity and is external it is possible to bar its entry into ones life by remaining vigilant.

However the Nafs is such an intrinsic part of us given to us for survival that if I become careless for even a moment, it fattens up and sits on top of my spiritual endeavors and suffocates my spirituality and my heart.

LOOK WHO IS IN YOUR HEART!

The example used by the Shaykh, which floored me, and left me floundering despite my rationalization, as I found myself “guilty”, was as follows:

He said: “ There is a Sahih Hadith of RasoolAllah peace be upon him, as follows: “Angels (carrying the mercy of Allah) do not enter a house that has images of living things or dogs”

He continued: “and if the Angels (with the Mercy of Allah) do not enter a home with images of living things than how can we expect Allah Subhanawataala to enter our hearts if they are filled with images”.

But…………but, but………a thousand rationalizations flash through my mind, but none of them stand up to this scrutiny of evidence.

RAISING THE BAR…….

After all only one in one thousand believers will enter Jannah. This selection process thus raises the bar, and sifts out the weak and the lazy with or without rationalization………..

The question is where do I stand with this? Am I up to this marathon, which is gearing up, with my Nafs?

……………..And where are you?

RAMADAN AND THE ROLE OF CONTROLLING THE NAFS

The Green Reef, Belize

In every human heart there are four forces battling for supremacy and dominance. Three of the four are base in nature and the fourth which if empowered is the strongest and the most pure

Nafs has been defined as “self”, “ego “(not freudian), soul, and the inner force that dictates our actions at a subconscious level, translating them to a conscious level eventually by persuasion or force.

There are four components or forces within us, three of which (base) were given to us for survival but not for expansion or elaboration into those dictating our life.

The three base forces come under the umbrella of something that the scholars have identified as Nafs e Ammara.
These three forces are:

The first is Bahemi or cow like whose primary instinct is to eat, sleep, and copulate and is satisfied with these actions.
The second base force is predatory, and this force finds most pleasure in taking other persons property, dominating others and runs on the fuel of getting power and annexing more power.
The third force is Shaytaani, or related to Satan and this force is filled with a mean streak, which enjoys creating discord between two people, two communities, or even two nations.
The fourth force……….. Which is the spiritual force is the also called the angelic Nafs, this is the force that allows us to connect with the Divine.

God Almighty placed these four forces in the heart of our father Adam (AS), our mother Eve, and their progeny.  This was one way to distinguish them from other creatures. They were given a freedom of choice as to which force they wanted to foster the most, by determining what lifestyle they chose.

Thus as Ramadan approaches and Muslims prepare to battle the first three base forces of the Nafs, some succeed and many do not.

Ramadan heightens the awareness of these forces within us. Thus some of us make a concerted effort to overcome the base forces and nurture the Angelic Nafs, while others suffice by restraining from food in the day and filling up at night.

The spirituality of Ramadan lies in reigning in the wild Horse of the Nafs and gently, carefully and consistently nurturing the spiritual force within our hearts. This is best done with prayer, good deeds, consideration of others and turning away from materialism. One specific method of doing so is by actively divesting oneself of money and things that one likes, with no other motive except to please Allah (God)

It is quite a challenge for Muslims to have this inner struggle going on, dedicating time for prayer and remembrance of God, while denying oneself food and drink on very little sleep, in a remarkably secular daily schedule.

If one is successful in controlling the base forces acting upon the heart, then this allows the spiritual Nafs to grow stronger, guiding the heart towards God Almighty.

The reward of a successful Ramadan lies in the heart clarifying itself of the dominance of the base Nafs and its forces and opening up to the spiritual connection with God Almighty.
Thus during Ramadan, one recognizes success if, before, during and in between prayer, the light of His (Almighty’s) beneficence and Mercy floods the heart with happiness despite the physical cravings of hunger and thirst.

In the Quran God Almighty says:” Verily in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest” But that can only happen if the other base forces are restrained and allow the spiritual nafs to seek God and connect for the Barakah or the blessings to flow into the heart.

The month of Ramadan is the practice session for the Olympics of the upcoming eleven months. If the base forces are let loose after Ramadan, they can be fed and fattened to the point that they can sit on the angelic nafs and stifle it thereby cutting off all lines of communication with God Almighty. Thus eating less, sleeping less and remembering God often, in the formal prescribed manner as well as randomly in all forms and manner is the essence of Ramadan. A month of intense training for the rest of the year.

Living in the heat of the south with the long days, short nights and a remarkable lack of ambience for the restraint of the base forces, the fasting Muslim may forget the reason for fasting.  In some instances all he may earn at the end of the day would be an empty stomach and a thirsty tongue.

Although all year long we spend hours choosing foods, tasting and rejecting food, having food fights, and wasting food, Ramadan for Muslims and non Muslims alike is the ideal time to make a concerted effort to control our base instincts and nurture our spiritual force which lies within every human heart.

We will know the success of our endeavors during Ramadan in connecting us with our Creator, if we forget our hunger and feel our heart fill with light and happiness.

THE TONGUE: AN INSTRUMENT OF DHIKR OR……….

I guess I would now be classified as a retreat veteran and yet when ever I open my notepad with pen poised, what I hear from the Shaykh is never a repetition of before but something new and energizing………

Does this mean that I have come along some, on the path of Tazkiyah? or does it mean that I missed part of what he said last time due to inattention? or my brain and my heart just did not register it as they were not ready to accept this new concept of living?…………..or a possibility that may be true but difficult for me to admit is that my Nafs and my arrogance stood like a wall when some of the things were said?

When I had first started on this path I wondered why I was here at the retreat. What would I learn from a bunch of lectures, early mornings, late nights and patience and prayer that I could not do by myself?

As the time at the retreat unfolded, after the initial discomfort of my body, my heart and mind started to transcend the physical discomfort and dive into the Shaykh’s method of teaching, which he describes as:
“We learn to do” and “We do to learn”
It is only when you have sat for what seems like a very long time between Asar and Maghrib repeating the evening Dhikr that you realize, there is a hyperactive child within you that wants to get up and go………..the hyperactive inattentive child or is it the headstrong brat of my Nafs that want to get it done and be over with it and go out.

It is only when the Nafs is patted down on the head repeatedly, quietened with a consistent discipline and not given attention that it finally calms down. It is then that the first opening occurs in the true connection with Allah Subhanawataala…………..it may last a few seconds, minutes or even longer if you have better control of your Nafs.

Thus it was the “doing” that I practiced and have continued to practice with the morning evening Dhikr after fajr and as often as I could after Asar that finally brought me to a point in this retreat when I actually began to enjoy the Dhikr with the slow passage of light from Asar to Maghrib in the skylights of the musallah.

As the words of Dhikr left my lips and ascended to my Creator, It brought me an intense feeling of being loved and enfolded in a sensation which can be translated into happiness or security…………even though fleetingly.

“Doing, teaches us more than listening to teachings,” said the Shaykh and I am living proof of that. Three retreats ago, I could not fold my feet to sit in Tashahud to do my Dhikr; I changed posture uncountable times in an hour. Overcoming the Nafs in me that pestered me like a hyperactive brat, by “doing” finally got me past the brat.

The morning Dhikr which is my favorite. I guess because it is long and it takes me a little while to get warmed up. This Dhikr comprises of a series of stunningly comprehensive masnoon supplications that engulf the physical, emotional, and personal needs at every level that one can think of. No wonder Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him, did this Dhikr on a regular basis………….

It also is a protective shield from all evil things and obsessive ill thoughts. When I read the translation of the supplications I can recognize why. Hidden in the simple though potent words, are supplications that protect you, bring blessings on you, shower you with spiritual, emotional and physical health and protect you from the arch enemy of our father, Adam (AS) and his progeny.

“Dua or supplication is emphasized as an essential part of being on the Path of the Seeker”

“Thus the Dhikr is………….to beg Allah, to be prayerful in heart, mind, soul and tongue”

“The lack of dua is a sign of “kibr” or arrogance……….says Allah Subhanawataala in the Quran, and recommends the abd (slave) to often be in dua.“

“Prophet Muhammad pbuh had long stretches of quietness…….as he was constantly in Dhikr”

The tongue can either be in idle chatter or in Dhikr…….thus we as Muslims are taught to be reflective of what we say and to say only what is meaningful, true, sincere and beautiful (with ehsaan). Even better is to remain silent and be in Dhikr.

This permission to remain silent has been one of the most stress releasing aspects that I was introduced to at the retreat. I have always been “the mediator” all my life and have taken it upon my self to entertain the wall flower, to be the liaison between two strangers etc etc……….I was happy to learn, though it took quite some time (three retreats☺) before I could actually be happy and not feel guilty, not to talk and be in silent dhikr.

Our voice is an instrument…………we can use it in so many ways……….Allah Subhanawataala  instructs us in the Quran….”shield your voice” or “lower your voice”.
Luqman (AS) advice to his son in the Quran is:
“And be moderate in thy pace, and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of the ass.” 031.019 Yusufali’s translation:

The final words of the Shaykh regarding this aspect were “Guard the tongue, it was put behind two prisons (the lips and the teeth) for a reason” It can lash out and say things that cannot be recalled, or say things to fill the sound void and then we become responsible on the Day of Judgment for each word uttered.

Silent Dhikr………………it took me three retreats of “doing” to know what it means and what happens when you actually “do” it!

Excerpts and reflections from the Retreat on Tazkiyah Nafs 09 with Shaykh Mokhtaar Magroubi (Most of the the statements in inverted comma’s are quotes from the Shaykh)

The Adhkaars (Dhikr) after Salah can be found at :http://ibnayyub.wordpress.com/2007/12/29/adhkaar-after-salah-sheikh-haitham-al-haddad/

ENTERING THE CIRCLE OF PEACE…………..STEP ONE AND TWO

From my personal diary………..

Each one of us on this earth is in search of peace, outer and inner. A sense of frustration arises because we find ourselves unable to control external events and the turmoil it creates within us.

Added to the true turmoil in the world around us as well as in the extended world at large is the propagation of lies and the promise of depressing outcomes by people who are the ready vessels for the whisperings of Shaitan.(paraphrased from the Hadith)

Entering the circle of PEACE is a process for which there are certain essential ingredients that need to be collected and certain essential garbage that needs to be gotten rid of.

Each one of us is a unique individual and the personal process of one person may not work for another. This is most evident by the numerous shelves in each bookstore packed with self-help books, none of which work completely.

So we begin with the basic essentials. You and I are individuals with our unique needs, which may not match anyone else, how do I go from here to enter the circle of peace?

The steps for doing thus are as follows:
1.    Making the Intention
2.    Getting rid of the clutter
3.    Reading the instructions
4.    Following the instructions
5.    Finding support in others on this path
6.    Refraining from going back to collecting clutter
7.    Making amends for past mistakes
8.    Traveling
9.    Having a focus in daily life
10.    Saying No to invitations to exit the circle of peace

1.    MAKING THE INTENTION
Look at your current life, are you completely happy with yourself, your surroundings, your work, your personal life and your friends, if you are then you are perhaps already in the circle of peace, and you just need to review 8, 9 and 10.
However if any of the areas mentioned above are unsatisfactory then you need to face yourself in the mirror and make the intention that you are going to deliberately and with istiqamah (steadfastness) endeavor, struggle and do your best to enter the circle of peace and do your utmost to remain within the circle of peace despite outside interference.

Once you have made the intention, then make a supplication to God Almighty that He in his infinite wisdom, place peace in your heart, mind and soul and allow you to live and die in peace.
(Dua of living and dying a Muslim)

2.    GETTING RID OF THE CLUTTER
There are two kinds of clutter:
i)        External clutter
ii)        Internal clutter

i)    EXTERNAL CLUTTER
This is relatively easier once you have made up your mind to clear the garbage and the beautiful boxes it comes in.
The external clutter enters your environment riding in the car of desire, the driver being your Nafs. Thus when you really really want something badly, ask yourself the question “Will I die without it?” if the answer is no, then do not acquire it.
This is not an easy task, thus to reinforce yourself study the following for at least roughly half an hour every day if not more:

If you like to listen: CD series by Mokhtaar Magroubi titled: ‘Diseases of the Heart” available at www.zawiyah.net.
If you like to read: This book by Hamza Yusuf “Purification of the Heart”
If you like the Internet then review Taleem ul Quran (available in English and Urdu) at www.alhudapk.com (audiovisual and then choose Farhat Hashmi for Urdu and Amina Elahe or Hijab Iqbal for English) Start with Sipara 1.

Examine your surroundings: Do you have distracters? Is there any thing that steals your time away from the study of the Quran and the life of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)?These two sources are your guide book and your compass in the search for entering the circle of peace.

INTERNAL CLUTTER:

Is there any thing that steals time away from cleansing your heart of the diseases mentioned above?

Is there anything that pollutes your five senses with anxiety, anger, and emotions of frustration, envy, hatred, avarice, aggression, and predatoryness? If the answer is yes remove its source and delivery system, whether it is books, magazines, journals, articles, Internet email, news, movies, so called friends and acquaintances, colleagues or any other stimulationinciting these emotions.

IMPEDIMENTS
I know at this time you are panicking because that is your whole life, how can you give up everything, remember it is not forever, you are taking out the garbage and once you have entered the circle of peace you can bring back those items back in to your life ,that will help you stay in the circle of peace.

REINFORCEMENTS TO PREVENT RE-ACCUMULATION OF CLUTTER
Meanwhile study the Life of Prophet Muhammad PBUH. He (PBUH) for he too was surrounded by vicious clutter and negative emotions, people and things and he slowly learned to remove these things and people and emotions from within him while he had to continue to live within them physically.

Row hard to enter the circle of peace

TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS & YOUR OLD YEARNINGS
Now since you have freed up a lot of your time by removing  time spent with the news, coffee shops, newspapers, Internet, magazines, journals, surfing the internet, face book, aimless wanderings of the mall, fruitless texting and phone talk, you find yourself in a void, with nothing to do.

This is where you selectively start filling this void with the Dhikr of God Almighty.
Dhikr comes in two categories:
1. Formal Dhikr: such as the five time prayers, thus learn the prayer the way Prophet Muhammad PBUH conducted it, perfect it, memorize it (it sharpens your memory and intellect).

Before entering into these prayers take your time to prepare for wudu, wear clean, well-ironed, crisp clothes that you enjoy wearing for yourself (i.e. not to show others), annoit yourself with perfume if you like it as you have an appointment with your creator and empty your head of all obligations.

Perform the salaat over as extended a period as you can. If you only know one surah repeat it many many times in iqamah and the same for the ruku and sajdah, do long sajdahs, as that is when we are closest to God Almighty.

Learn and finesse the five prayers and learn a new surah every day or every few days if you are slow like me. Memorize its meaning and repeat it in every prayer.

2. Informal Dhikr or Dhikr on the go:
When the desire to indulge in the raucous aspects of the Internet, TV or radio, touches you, repeat the simple dhikr of “Astigfirullah” or “Subhanallahe wabehamdeh” which translates as “How perfect God is and I praise Him”

WHY DO ALL THIS?
TO ENTER THE CIRCLE OF PEAC E ………….everyone wants it, everyone yearns for it, everyone does not get it, ……..All these action points may sound superfluous and simplistic and those of you from Pakistan and other Muslim countries these acts may remind you of the uneducated class, but take it from me it will open a path in front of you towards the circle of peace………..such that you will be amazed at the happiness it will bring you. Keep doing it till the negative feelings go away and the path towards the circle of Peace is lighted with your Dhikr.

When ever you find yourself extending your hand to buy yet another glossy magazine, your feet move towards the mall to kill some time, or your fingers go to surf mindless websites on the internet, remind yourself that it is nothing bu clutter in your home, your heart and your mind and will fill your senses with unwanted clutter, and deviate you and distract you from your intended goal of entering the circle of peace.

STUMBLING AND CATCHING YOURSELF….
Sometimes you will feel despondent and may have the perception that you are not making progress and you may even yearn for the raucous movies, sad or joyous songs, and old friends with whom you killed time, but remember this too shall pass. Repeat the Dhikr with meaning and feeling till the feeling of despondency goes away.

Once you have entered the circle of peace, you have clarity of vision, a clean heart and you will be able to choose what you have found to be beneficial and bring it into the circle of peace with you and it will be worth the wait and the peaceful home you will bring it into…………..

To be continued………..

WHAT TO SAY IF YOU GET…………… OR DON’T GET WHAT YOU DESIRED? 9:59

وَلَو أَنَّهُم رَضُواْ مَآ ءَاتَهُمُ ٱللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ  وَقَالُواْ حَسبُنَا ٱللَّهُ سَيُؤتِينَا ٱللَّهُ مِن فَضلِهِ وَرَسُولُهُ  إِنَّآ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ رَغِبُونَ (٥٩

9:59 (How much more seemly) had they been content with that which Allah and His messenger had given them and had said: Allah sufficeth us. Allah will give us of His bounty, and (also) His messenger. Unto Allah we are suppliants.

TAFSEER BY DR FARHAT HASHMI:

When the hypocrites were unhappy with the distribution of goods to the people, they would rudely question Prophet Muhammad PBUH.

Allah Subhanawataala outlines the etiquette of a true Muslim in this ayah: A true Muslim would say and feel that Allah is enough in my heart, He will give us of his bounty and also His messenger, and we supplicate to Allah alone.

The message here is that we should trust Allah in what he gives us and in what he withholds, and be confident that He will give of His bounties.

We should make a conscious effort not to emulate the hypocrites who questioned the quality and quantity of what they were given by RasoolAllah and were not happy with it.

MY TAKE:

The end point of the Hypocrites is that the wrath of Allah will descend on them, and we do not want to be one of them.

WHAT AND WHO IS IN YOUR HEART?

PHOTO: Courtesy flikr search Alllah calligraphy

NISYAAN AND THE SEAT OF OUR MEMORY……….

There are two seats of memory within us. One is in our brain and is experienced and stored by our senses. This one fades with time and change in circumstances.

The other of which there is no measure, no limit in time or space or form of storage, is in our hearts……….and therein lies our memory of grief, of faith and of the love of Allah.

THE CONCEPT OF AMANAT AND KHIANAT: 8:56-58

008.056 
YUSUFALI: They are those, with whom thou didst make a covenant, but they break their covenant every time, and they have not the fear (of Allah).
008.057 
YUSUFALI: If ye gain the mastery over them in war, disperse, with them, those who follow them that they may remember.
008.058 
YUSUFALI: If thou fearest treachery from any group, throw back (their covenant) to them, (so as to be) on equal terms: for Allah loveth not the treacherous.

BACKGROUND

Amanat is a trust that you leave with someone to be returned in full at a given time and place. Amanat is something that belongs to another person, that he or she gives to you for safe keeping and to abide under the rules of the pact (covenant) he or she made with you.

Khianat is taking something out of what was given to us for safekeeping and betraying the trust of another.

Tafseer: (FH)

Khianat is detested by Allah SWT

On the day o judgment each promise/pact breaker will have a flag, which will announce what promise or pact he or she violated. This will be the announcement of their violations of their promises, personal or national, publicly decrying their actions for all to see.

(Hypocrites is a foul word in islam, it means someone who overtly says he believes and inside does not, and this is reflected in his actions, Unfortunately we have no way to know who is a hypocrite, but this hadith is to warn us and to look within us to make sure that we do not carry any vestiges of hypocrisy)

Prophet Muhammad PBUH said the person who has these four attributes is a true hypocrite, and if he has even one then he has one-fourth qualities of a hypocrite until he leaves these attributes:

1.    When he/she is given an amanat he violates it with Khianat. He betrays the other persons confidence, he does not keep the other persons confidential information secret, he does not complete his duty as promised
2.    When he speaks he/she lies.
3.    When he promises something he/she betrays his/her promise
4.    When he argues he/she becomes verbally abusive

Allah SWT dislikes those who do khianat. Khianat is a sign of hypocrisy.

People can hide the act of their khianat from people but not from Allah.

EXAMPLES OF KHIANAT (INCLUDE THE KHIANAT BY HANDS,FEET AND THE FIVE SENSES)

The betrayal of confidences exchanged between husband and wife, between friends,  and betrayal of pacts between nations.

If two people are talking and one of them looks around (sort of to make sure no one else is listening, this is an indicator that he wants this conversation confidential without actually saying so), their word becomes an amanat, especially if someone is taking advice. If two people are talking in confidence softly, then to eaves dropping is also khianat of the ears.

Reading other people’s personal mail, diary,(khianat of the eyes)  eavesdropping on phone calls, (kianat of the ears) going into other peoples email without their permission are all acts of  khianat.

Even with children: going through their things secretly is also khianat. If one has to investigate one’s own children’s things it should be done in their presence.

Using children to spy on other family members also falls under khianat.

If one desires to break a pact, one should do it publicly (“throw back their covenant to them”)rather than by default.

end tafseer re: khianat

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH……. ISLAM?

GUEST ARTICLE

By Dr. Kaukab Siddique

Isn’t Love important? A reader (Check out the comments on the post-titled “Does Islam Allow Muslim Men To Marry Non-Muslim Women in America”) asked this question.

This question is central to human life. What is love? What does Islam say about it? What is the role of family interference in love between a man and a woman who wish to marry?

We must begin by accepting the fact that we are given the ability to love by a higher power, Allah [or God for Christians]. Without unimpaired physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health, we would not be able to love. A great Muslim theologian, Muhammad al-Ghazzali, gives a metaphor to explain the way love works. On a hot day, when we take refuge in the shade, we are pleased not only with the shade but are thankful for the trees that provide the shade. [1]

Thus Allah is the source of love. If our love is limited to beings other than Allah, we are very liable to be disappointed. Why? Simply because all that humans have is limited and is steadily passing and withering away. Then one day we are faced with the prospect of leaving this world and going to another level of existence about which we know nothing if we do not love Allah.

Allah, however, is not an idol or a limited being who can be loved the way humans love other humans. He is beyond our limited understanding so he helps us to understand love and how and whom to love. To love Allah, we must love his creation, in particular human beings. If we do not love humans, our claims of loving Allah are not acceptable to Allah Almighty. We must love not only all humans but also all of Allah’s creatures, from the birds in the sky to the ants in the earth.

Among the best of God’s creatures are those whom He selected to Guide humans, the most prominent of whom are Abraham, Hajira, Moses, Asiya, Jesus, Mary, Muhammad (PBUH)  and ‘Ayesha [may Allah bless them all].

Muhammad (PBUH) brought the final and perfected message of all of these Guides, peace be on him. If we want to love Allah, we must love Muhammad, peace be on him, and through him all the others who preceded him. [2]

If our love of Allah is established and clear, then we’ll easily see whom to select as spouse for our special personal and sexual love.

We live in a time and age when Islam is gradually but steadily resurging. Among the new generations of Muslims there are increasingly larger numbers of young people who see their personal happiness as linked to love of Allah and acceptance of the Way [Sunnah] of Muhammad, pbuh. However, there is powerful resistance to this resurgence from the established feudal, military and westernized sections of Muslim societies.

For them, maintaining their aristocracies are more important than Islam. They often marry their children to cousins to keep their wealth within their families and to keep their racial-family lines [genes] “pure.” They, in particular, want to evade the property rights that Islam gives to women.

Islam does encourage great respect for mothers and fathers and supports the family system, but it does not permit parents to shape the lives of married couples.

In the choice of spouses, parents play a very important role but it is an advisory role. The final choice has to be made by the two who want to get married. Islam teaches that the virgin who knows little of the world should have a Wali to advise her so that she may not be entrapped by a clever man. However, in the final choice, the bride must choose freely and without any pressure of any kind.

In all issues related to spousal life, the married couple is commanded by Islam to seek guidance from the Qur’an and the Sunnah, not from parents or relatives.

In fact in husband-wife relationships, there is no role for parents and siblings other than that of compassion and caring. Interference is allowed only when there is clear oppression and violation of Islamic Law. Even in divorce, the Qur’an says:
“… Wives have rights similar to those of husbands according to what is equitable….” [The Qur'an 2:228], the only difference being that women have to wait for a fixed time before remarriage while men don’t have to, and thus men have a “degree” of advantage for biological reasons.

Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, commanded: “Surely you have a right over women, just as women have a right over you.” [Hadith, Sunan of Tirmidhi.]

Husbands should not be taking personal, sexual, matters to ANYONE outside the bedroom:

“On the Day of Judgment, terrible will be the situation of a man who goes [sexually] to his wife, or of a woman who goes to her husband, and then spread the secrets of their personal life, outside.” [Hadith of Muhammad, pbuh, Sahih Muslim]

Without acceptance of the Will of Allah by both men and women, marriage cannot be successful and should not be carried out.

In conclusion, Imam Ghazzali summarizes the four types of love human beings feel thus:

i.    Natural love that we have for children, parents and siblings/relatives.
ii.    Sensual or physical desire which is animalistic and is the result of sexual drives and is aroused by the physical shape and form of the object of love.
iii.     Love based on reason and understanding, such as the love one has for poetry or other aesthetically pleasing objects and for morally exalted behavior. This is the highest limit of human love outside Islam.
iv.     Islamic love that is rooted in the love of Allah and his Messenger, pbuh, and   prepares one for the Hereafter. Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, taught repeatedly that in Paradise you will be with the ones you love. [These are the Pure Companions of Paradise repeatedly referred to in the Qur'an.] [3]
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1.    Imam Muhammad al-Ghazzali, died 1111 c.e. In Baghdad, one of the greatest theologian of Islam wrote the best discussion of LOVE in all of Islamic literature. Reference:  Ihya Ulum-id-Deen, volume 4, translations available in Urdu and English

Allama Iqbal, the Poet-Philosopher of the East, died c.e. 1938, has some of the most powerful expression of the meaning of the highest form of love, ISHQ, in his verses about Self and Selflessness.

2. “And among people are those who take others than Allah as equals to Him. They love them as they should love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah…” [The Qur'an 2:165]

3. The Prophet, pbuh, asked his daughter Fatima, r.a., “Do you love me?” She replied: “Yes.” “Then,” he said, pointing to ‘Ayesha, r.a., “love the one I love.” [Hadith, Sunan of Nasai.]