THE SPIRITUAL PREPARATION FOR HAJJ: If you can prepare this aspect, your Hajj will transform into a beautiful experience and you will forget the difficulties and challenges, inshallah.
Here are some questions to ask yourself and here are the resources to find them:
* HOW OFTEN ARE YOU RECITING THE QURAN? An excellent resource to recite with and learn the correct proununciation is Shaykh Al Afasys site: http://alafasy.tripod.com/
* ARE YOU READING THE LIFE OF THE PROPHET? I personally liked Yasir Qadhis Muhammad (PBUH) Lessons and Morals as well as Imam Anwar Awlakis life of the Prophet in Makkah and Medina both CDs definatley worth investing in.
* HAVE YOU READ THE HISTORY AND GEOGRAPHY OF MECCA AND MEDINA AND WHAT HAPPENED WHERE? There are several illustrated books on both these aspects, some I have given you a link on above.
I have one request: PLEASE DO NOT PIRATE THESE CDS:
1. THIS WILL STUNT THE GROWTH OF MUSLIM MEDIA MARKETING AND THE PRICES WILL STAY HIGH BECAUSE OF LACK OF SALES.
2. MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE ABOVE REASON IS THE FACT THAT BY COPYING SOMETHING WHICH IS PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT LAWS, YOU ARE COMMITTING A SIN (usurping the rights of the author and producer called Dhulm or oppression in the Quran) AND BREAKING THE LAW.
Allah knows best!
Do you have suggestions from what you have read or listened to? Please share!
Every one knows that Hajj is the fifth and final pillar of Islam. And performing Hajj is one of the obligations that Allaah has put upon His believing slaves if they have the means. But how many of us really pay attention to this command?
Now I am not talking about those of us who are sick, or financially unable to afford it. I am talking about those of us who have a steady job, a good enough income, Alhamdulillaah. And we have health and the physical and other means to go for Hajj.
But we just don’t think about it.
Sure we have all that money saved up but we are either saving it for that trip to Disney Land or that vacation to Hawaii. Perhaps it is for a bigger house or a fancier car. Or we are just so busy in our jobs and day to day lives that even the thought of going to Hajj doesn’t cross our minds.
Although Allaah tells us in the Qur’aan that Hajj is fardh on every Muslim once in lifetime, provided they are able to perform it.
“And Hajj to the House (Ka`bah) is a duty that mankind owes to Allah, those who can afford the expenses; and whoever disbelieves [i.e., denies Hajj, then he is a disbeliever of Allah], then Allah stands not in need of any of the `Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists).” (Surah Aale-Imraan:97)
And the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said during a Khutbah: “O people! Hajj has been made incumbent upon you, so perform Hajj.” (Muslim)
From this we can conclude that hajj is obligatory on whoever has the (physical, financial, and circumstantial) ability to reach the sacred precincts of the Kaa’bah in Makkah.
But somehow, we don’t realize that delaying Hajj for no specific reason is so wrong.
The Ulama tell us that those who have the ability to go for Hajj but delay it for no specific reason, are concurring a major sin. That’s right…a major sin!
In fact, ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “I was about to send envoys to the towns to check on all those who have the means to make Hajj but do not perform it, in order to demand them to pay Jizyah; they are not Muslims, they are not Muslims”.
Subhaan Allaah! What strong words and we didn’t even think it was such a big deal.
Ibn Qudaamah said: “If a person is obliged to do Hajj and is able to do it, he must do it straight away and it is not permissible for him to delay it.” (al-Mughni)
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked about Hajj and whether one can delay it. He replied: ”The correct view is that it must be done straight away and it is not permissible for a person who is able to go on Hajj to the Sacred House of Allaah to delay it. The same applies to all the duties enjoined by sharee’ah: if there is no set time or reason, they must be done immediately.” (Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen)
But come to think of it, why would one want to delay it anyway?
Wouldn’t you want to have your sins…and I mean, ALL your sins forgiven?
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Whoever performs Hajj to this house – Kaa’bah- and does not commit any obscenity and wrongdoing, he, or she, will come out as the day he, or she, was born – pure and free from sins.” (Bukhaari, Muslim)
Just imagine! Pure and free from sin…as the day you were born!
Wouldn’t you want to be free from Hell Fire?
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: ”There is no day on which Allah sets free more slaves from Hell than He does on the Day of `Arafah.” [Muslim].
Sure, it is a rigorous journey. But isn’t Jannah worth it?
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “The reward of Hajj Mabrur (i.e., one accepted) is nothing but Jannah.” [Bukhaari, Muslim].
And don’t think spending for Hajj will decrease your wealth or make you poor in any way. For not only does Hajj wipe away sins, but it also gets rid of poverty.
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“Keep on doing Hajj and ‘Umrah, for they eliminate poverty and sin just as the bellows eliminate impurities from iron and gold and silver.” (Tirmidhi, al-Nasaa’i, saheeh by al-Albaani)
And you don’t have to worry about anything when you go there, because you are Allaah’s guest and He will take care of you. Imagine…Allaah’s guest! What more could one want?!!
Hajj is the perfection of faith and true surrender to the Almighty. It isa reminder of the purpose of life and man’s ultimate end.It is a stage in which you can develop yourself spiritually. It is a time when you forget your home, your comfort, your families…your wealth, your friends, relatives and everything you possess, purely for the sake of Allaah. It is the time when you train yourself for absolute and complete surrender to the Divine Command of the Almighty. It is a perfect chance to earn Jannah.
So surely, that trip to Disney Land can wait, that house can be bought next year, that vacation can be postponed.
Make the intention for hajj now. And don’t just make the intention. Do something about it. Ask your boss for time off for Hajj. Work out your finances and other arrangements. And make lots of dua to Almighty. Surely He will make a way out for you if you are sincere. And even if you have been for hajj some years ago, go ahead and repeat your Hajj.
Because the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“Keep on doing Hajj and ‘Umrah, for they eliminate poverty and sin….” (Tirmidhi)
So plan for Hajj today. Don’t delay it any further. There is still time for you to make it this year.
Go for Hajj to earn the pleasure of your Lord, and come back with all your sins forgiven.
“Race one with another in hastening towards Forgiveness from your Lord, and towards Paradise, the width whereof is as the width of heaven and earth, prepared for those who believe in Allaah and His Messengers. That is the Grace of Allaah which He bestows on whom He pleases. And Allaah is the Owner of Great Bounty.” (Surah Hadeed:21)
Note: “The definition of being able to go for Hajj is: a person should be physically healthy; he should have the means of traveling to the Sacred House of Allaah by plane, car or riding-beast, or have the money to pay for transportation; and he should have sufficient provision (food) for the journey there and back. This should be over and above what he needs to cover the costs of expenses for those whom he is obliged to spend on until he comes back from his Hajj.” (Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah)
In case of debt: “Whoever owes a debt and is being asked to repay it in the sense that his creditors will not let him go for Hajj until after he has paid off the debt should not go for Hajj, because he is not able to. But if they are not asking him to repay and he know
“Keep on doing Hajj and ‘Umrah, for they eliminate poverty and sin just as the bellows eliminate impurities from iron and gold and silver.” (Tirmidhi, al-Nasaa’i, saheeh by al-Albaani)
“The one who fights for the sake of Allaah and the pilgrim who goes for Hajj or ‘Umrah are all guests of Allaah. He called them and they responded; they ask of Him and He will give them.” (Ibn Maajah– hasan by al-Albaani.
And imagine the reward for all this? Nothing but Jannah.
Also, the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) encouraged us to go for Hajj as quickly as we can and fulfill this duty and not delay it. He (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“Hasten to do Hajj – meaning the obligatory Hajj – for none of you knows what will happen to him.” (Ahmad- hasan by al-Albaani)
So hasten to the ‘maghfirah’ of your Lord…rush to seek His Bounty, His Mercy, His Pleasure….and race to a Jannah whose width is as wide as the heavens and the earth. For you never know what is in store for us. We are alive today but we may not be here tomorrow. We might be healthy today, but we be sick tomorrow.
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“Take benefit of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness,your wealth before your poverty,your free-time before your preoccupation, and your life before your death.”(Hakim-saheeh)
Have you ever thought what it is like to pray in al-Haram…with the Kaa’bah right in front of your very eyes?This is where the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) sat, walked, prayed. This where the Sahabah were. What a magnificent place to be in! And you can multiply your good deeds there. And Tawaaf and Saa’ee cannot be done anywhere in the world except here.
Hajj is the perfection of faith and true surrender to the Almighty. It isa reminder of the purpose of life and man’s ultimate end.It is a stage in which you can develop yourself spiritually. It is a time when you forget your home, your comfort, your families…your wealth, your friends, relatives and everything you possess, purely for the sake of Allaah. It is the time when you train yourself for absolute and complete surrender to the Divine Command of the Almighty. It is a perfect chance to earn Jannah.
So surely, that trip to Disney Land can wait, that house can be bought next year, that vacation can be postponed.
Make the intention for hajj now. And don’t just make the intention. Do something about it. Ask your boss for time off for Hajj. Work out your finances and other arrangements. And make lots of dua to Almighty. Surely He will make a way out for you if you are sincere. And even if you have been for hajj some years ago, go ahead and repeat your Hajj. Because the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“Keep on doing Hajj and ‘Umrah, for they eliminate poverty and sin….” (Tirmidhi)
So plan for Hajj today. Don’t delay it any further. There is still time for you to make it this year.
Go for Hajj to earn the pleasure of your Lord, and come back with all your sins forgiven.
“Race one with another in hastening towards Forgiveness from your Lord, and towards Paradise, the width whereof is as the width of heaven and earth, prepared for those who believe in Allaah and His Messengers. That is the Grace of Allaah which He bestows on whom He pleases. And Allaah is the Owner of Great Bounty.” (Surah Hadeed:21)
Note: “The definition of being able to go for Hajj is: a person should be physically healthy; he should have the means of traveling to the Sacred House of Allaah by plane, car or riding-beast, or have the money to pay for transportation; and he should have sufficient provision (food) for the journey there and back. This should be over and above what he needs to cover the costs of expenses for those whom he is obliged to spend on until he comes back from his Hajj.” (Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah)
In case of debt: “Whoever owes a debt and is being asked to repay it in the sense that his creditors will not let him go for Hajj until after he has paid off the debt should not go for Hajj, because he is not able to. But if they are not asking him to repay and he knows that they don’t mind, then he may go for Hajj and his Hajj will be valid. It is also permissible to go for Hajj if there is no set time limit for repayment of the debt and he is allowed to repay when it is easy for him. Hajj may be a good thing that may lead to his paying off the debt.” (Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah)
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “One prayer in al-Masjid al-Haraam is better than one hundred thousand prayers anywhere else.” (Ibn Maajah, Ahmad, Saheeh)
Suggested list of items for Hajj, compiled from several folks experience:
ITEMS FOR HAJJ
• Umbrellas (small enough to fit into the carrying bag during Hajj days)
• Sleeping bag / person (small to fit in carrying bag for Mina, especially to be used at Muzdallifah)
• Towel / person
• Fragrance Free = Shampoo, Conditioner, Soap, Lotion, Deodorant, Sun block, TOOTHPASTE, Baby Wipes (Shampoo & Conditioner can be ordered from Publix Pharmacy, Soap/Lotion/Deodorant – Dove makes them, Sun block – Neutrogena)
• Sunglasses
• Slipper socks to be worn in Haram (men can wear them as well except during Ihram)
• Granola bars or some dry health bars for fast meals and during long bus rides
• Safety Pins
• Flashlights
• Small carrying bag / person (for Mina)
• Comfortable shoes/sandals
• Comfortable clothes
• Abayas/Long sleeve outfits for ladies
• Ihrams for men
• A unique looking shoe bag to be used to store sandals in Haram (unique looking so others don’t confuse it w/ theirs easily)
• Special Ihram Belt for men (Also has pockets for money, special documents) A money belt from the US serves the same purpose (personal preference)
• Carry a water bottle w/ you at all times (Drinking water bottles available everywhere in Saudi)
• Warm clothes for Medina mornings
• A washcloth to soak with water to use on face and neck while doing tawaf in the heat
• Shaving head for men = Remember to ask for a clean blade
• Laundry can be done at local Laundromats
janaza in the Haram
• Should know how to pray Salat-ul-Janaza
• Street vendor foods should be avoided (for safety)
• Extra luggage can be bought very easily from there
• Medications = Tylenol, Pepto Bismol, Antibiotics (ZPak, easy since fewer pills, Bandages, Neosporin
• You can make a dua list (since everyone will have a special request and you will forget some of them – I even carried that during the Hajj days to make sure to remember all of them)
• Meningitis shot, Malaria Pills, Tetanus booster– MAKE SURE TO TAKE THE MENINGITIS SHOT EARLY TO GET A CERTIFICATE.
• LOTS OF PATIENCE
Surah Al Imran 003.096
YUSUFALI: The first House (of worship) appointed for men was that at Bakka: Full of blessing and of guidance for all kinds of beings:
003.097
YUSUFALI: In it are Signs Manifest; (for example), the Station of Abraham; whoever enters it attains security; Pilgrimage thereto is a duty men owe to Allah,- those who can afford the journey; but if any deny faith, Allah stands not in need of any of His creatures.
Commentary:A formal pilgrimage to His (Subhanawataa’la’s) House is both a personal and social step towards realizing Allah’s presence both in this world and beyond. All worship is acts of yearning and dedication to the One Lord.
One day Ibn Umar (RA) was sitting with the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) in the masjid in Mina when a man from theAnsaar and a man from the Thaqeef came. They gave Salaam and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, we came to ask you questions.”
So the Messenger (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “If you want I can inform you why you came and what you want to ask, and I will do so, and if you want I will hold back and you can ask me and I will answer you.”
They said: “Tell us O Messenger of Allaah!”
The man from Thaqeef said to the Ansaari: “Ask.” So the Ansaari man said: “Inform me O Messenger of Allaah!”
The Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:“You came to me, to ask about leaving your house and aiming for the Bait-ul-Haraam and the reward for it; about praying two Rakah after Tawaaf and the reward for it; going between as-Safa and Marwa and the reward for it; your staying the evening in Mina, and the reward for it; stoning the Jamarah and the reward for it; slaughtering an animal and the reward for it; and the Tawaaf of al-Ifaadh.”
The man said: “I swear by the One who sent you with the truth! This is what I came to ask you about.”
The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “As for you leaving your homes aiming for the Bait-ul-Haraam: then your she-camel does not place its foot nor does it raise it except that Allaah writes for you a reward due to it, and wipes off one of your sins.
As for the two Rakah after the Tawaaf, then it is equivalent to freeing a slave from the Children of Ismaeel.
Muqaam-e Ibrahim
As for your circuiting of as-Safa and al-Marwa, then it is the same as freeing 70 slaves.
Saee: Between Safa and Marwah walking in the steps of our mother Hagar
As for you staying till the evening in Arafah, then Allaah descends to the sky of the Duniya and He boasts about you to the Angels, and says: ‘My slaves have come to Me, looking rough, from every deep valley hoping for My mercy, so if their sins were equivalent to the amount of sand or the drops of rain or like the foam on the sea I will forgive them. So go forth My slaves! Having forgiveness and for what or who you have interceded for.’
Arafah in 1950
On the way to Jamaraat
As for stoning the Jamaar (the pillars), then for every stone that you throw, it removes a big sin from the deadly sins.
As for your slaughtering, then it is saved for you with your Lord.
As for shaving your head, then there is a reward for every strand of hair that you shaved, and a sin is wiped off by it.
Hajre-Aswaad, where tawaaf begins
As for you performing Tawaaf of the House after all this, then by this time you are performing Tawaaf with no sin upon you and an Angel comes and places his hand between your shoulders saying: “Perform good deeds in what you face of the future, for verily your past sins have been forgiven.” (at-Tabarani and al-Bazaar–graded hasan by Al-Albaanee in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa Tarheeb’)
End Hadith
Subhaan Allaah! What a beautiful hadeeth!
And what good news for the pilgrims!
Rejoice and celebrate! Those of you going for Hajj this year! What more could you ask for?!!
Remember this hadeeth as you leave your homes for this honorable journey, whether it is by plane, ship, car or camel. Remember that Allaah will forgive your sins at each step you get closer to your destination and reward you at each step.
And remember this hadeeth as you circumambulate the Kaa’ba and say your two rakaat….And during your Sa’ee as you get tired……and on the Day of Arafah as you spread out your hands and ask for His Mercy and forgiveness….remember this hadeeth and cry. Weep out of your fear of Him and beg Him to pardon you and to guide you to Jannah.
And as you stone the Jamaraat with the crowds, remember this hadeeth and thank Allaah for this opportunity to have your major sins forgiven. And when you slaughter your animal and shave your head only for His sake, remember to thank Him and praise Him and glorify Him, for no one but Him Alone made all this possible for you. No one but Him Alone can forgive you and guide you. And no one but Him Alone can accept all this from you.
And finally, as you make Tawaaf of al-Ifaadhah….remember this hadeeth and firmly resolve to be good, to fear Him, to be honest and upright…..a follower of the Sunnah….a true Muslim in word and deed, not just by name. Promise Him that you will try your best to have taqwa and keep away from all that is haraam. And direct all praise and thanks to Allaah Alone who honored you by first inviting you to His Noble House then enabled you to perform Hajj and then forgave you your sins. Alhamdulillaahi Rabb il-Aalameen. Can we ever thank Allaah for His kindness and blessings?!!
And if you do all that, sincerely following the Sunnah, you will be forgiven, just as the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) promised us. And your reward will be Jannah.
As for those of us who couldn’t go this year, make firm intention NOW, to go for Hajj next year. No, not in the near future. Next Year. That’s it. Don’t delay it. Make a promise to yourself and ask Allaah to make it happen. If you ask sincerely, He will surely make it come true.
For, how can one read this beautiful…beautiful hadeeth and not want to take benefit from it?!!
How can one stand not to be the one to whom this hadeeth applies?!!
How can one not be one of the Haajis??!!!
May Allaah enable all those of us who have not yet gone for Hajj to do so and may He accept all those who did go. Ameen.
The first act of racism since the creation of man was committed by Shaitan (iblis). When Allah Subhanawataala created Adam, and asked the angels and iblis to bow before him, Iblis refused.
Here is his reasoning as narrated in the Quran:
002.034: And behold, We said to the angels: “Bow down to Adam” and they bowed down. Not so Iblis: he refused and was haughty: He was of those who reject Faith.
007.011 : It is We Who created you and gave you shape; then We bade the angels prostrate to Adam, and they prostrated; not so Iblis; He refused to be of those who prostrate.
007.012: (Allah) said: “What prevented thee from prostrating when I commanded thee?” He said: “I am better than he: Thou didst create me from fire, and him from clay.”
007.013 : (Allah) said: “Get thee down from this: it is not for thee to be arrogant here: get out, for thou art of the meanest (of creatures).”
Iblis’s vow regarding humans:
015.039: (Iblis) said: “O my Lord! Because Thou hast put me in the wrong, I will make (wrong) fair-seeming to them on the earth, and I will put them all in the wrong, -
Allah’s response:
015.042: “For over My servants no authority shalt thou have, except such as put themselves in the wrong and follow thee.”
ARROGANCE>RACISM=DISOBEDIENCE TO GOD
The arrogance of Iblis was based on the perception that since he was made of fire and man of clay, he was superior to man. Thus the first act of disobedience to God and was based on “racism”
While searching Martin Luther King’s heritage and message, I came across another black American/African American man whose search for the Siraat-e Mustaqeem, was convoluted, but his heart eventually guided him to the true essence of Islam, and at Hajj his search for truth and guidance was realized and his anger laid to rest. Here is what Malcolm X says on return from Hajj: “My pilgrimage broadened my scope. It blessed me with a new insight. In two weeks in the Holy Land, I saw what I never had seen in thirty-nine years here in America. I saw all races, all colors, –blue-eyed blonds to black skinned Africans-in true brotherhood! In unity! Living as one! Worshipping as one! No segregationists-no liberals; they would not have known how to interpret the meaning of those words…” Taken from The Autobiography of Malcolm X (Grove Press Inc New York)
I am at Hajj. Returning from Arafah and Muzdalifah. It has been fifteen hours for five miles but that is another story. We are now back at Mina. Our tent in Mina feels like a five star hotel. A hot meal and shower also feels like absolute luxury. I am deeply thankful for both and more. We have two more steps to complete by evening. My mahram is pacing restlessly as I slowly savor the hot meal served at the camp. We have to go to the jamaraat in order to walk in the path of Abraham (AS) as he walked in the desert towards his destination where on the command of Allah SWT he was to sacrifice his beloved son Ismail. I look around at my companions and wonder…….. do they know what it is like to lose your son leave alone willfully sacrifice him? The jamaraat are newsworthy. They are a favorite of newshounds and bloodthirsty reporters. Things happen at the jamaraat. When four million people converge at three points at roughly the same time and are impassioned in the act of throwing pebbles at shaitan or at their own temptations, accidents can happen. Horror stories of how people have been trampled in the past at jamaraat have been circulating. I can feel the tension in the male members of our group. It is their duty to protect the women in their group and get us in and out safely. I am going to the jamaraat. For me it is “the walk of resisting temptation”. I know that if I think of its total implication it will be an emotionally wrenching walk. I follow my group who has begun to walk towards the jamaraat. The group is tightly instep together. We have all heard of the crush and of people falling and being trampled. The danger of death or injury is very real and well documented; it hangs like the sword of Damocles over our head. No one acknowledges it but it permeates the atmosphere. The takbirs are restrained except for the beautiful voice of one nineteen-year-old boy in our group. His lilting takbir sets my mind to rest and relaxes the rest of the group. We proceed to the first jamaraat. Progress of time and the stamp of man have changed the map of this historic place. My mind goes backwards in time………… Prophet Abraham (alaysalaam) is walking with his ten-year-old son Ismail in the desert. I feel that both father and son are silent and in submission to Allah’s command. Each step towards their destination marks the end of the father’s time with his son. Ismail walks along, his young handsome face innocent of all fear. The only son of Abraham (AS), born after so many years of prayers and supplications. For Abraham (AS) this is his last walk with his beloved son. All is unsaid between them. Allah has asked Abraham (AS) to sacrifice what he loves more than his own life. Their silence resounds with obedience to Allah.
They come to a spot in the desert where Shaitan appears and whispers to Abraham (AS) “you don’t really have to sacrifice your son, he is your only son………..its okay…you don’t have to do it”. (At least I think that is what he says) Perhaps temptation knocks on the door of Abraham’s heart, but he realizes that everything and everyone is from Allah. His son also belongs to Allah and if Allah wants to take him away at this tender age of ten then he has to submit to the command he has been given.” Shaitan continues with his litany of discouragement, Abraham (AS) stops and picks up a pebble and says “Allah o Akbar “ and throws it at Shaitan who disappears. I pause………. and I feel the pain and the submission of the father………we are now at the first jamaraat. I take out my little pebbles, I say “Allah o Akbar” and with all my strength cast them at the jamaraat. I face the Kaaba, and pray……. for my salvation, for my parents, for myself and my family, and the muslims at large and for protection against all evil. We move on towards the second jamarat. Abraham (AS) and Ismail (AS) are walking in the desert their destination is the place where the sacrifice has to take place. I cannot even imagine what goes through Ismail’s (AS) head. I can imagine what goes through Abraham (AS) head and heart. I am no Abraham (AS) I was not even asked to sacrifice my son, and yet my heart is full of compassion for the father. I realize I do not have the makings of a Prophet. We are at the second jamarat, this is where shaitan appears again and tempts Abraham (AS) encouraging him to disobey Allah and not to make the sacrifice. Abraham (AS) picks up a pebble and throws it at him. Four million men and women follow Abraham (AS) and throw the pebbles with a passion. Some are actually throwing it at shaitan, some are throwing away their disobediences to Allah, and some like me…mere mortals, are just walking in the steps of Abraham and trying to mimic his bravery and his single minded submission to our Lord. After throwing the pebbles at the third jamarat, we supplicate and return to our tent happy at completing this step of Hajj and relieved that the danger is over. As for Abraham (AS) Allah calls him His (SWT) “friend’ in the Quran. No one else has been given this honor. Thus, Allah in his infinite mercy replaces Abraham’s son with a ram, and we follow suit and sacrifice a ram, the meat of which is distributed to the poor and needy. We depart from tradition here. I pay someone to buy a ram for me and unseen hands do the actual sacrifice of the animal for me. I get a receipt that it was completed in a timely manner. Another invasion of man on history, but it suffices for me. By now, I am emotionally and physically spent. Could I have voluntarily sacrificed my son in obedience of Allah? I skirt the question; I cannot even bear to think of its ramifications when applied to me. We have one more step……….The Tawaaf e Ifada for which we have to return to Mecca and time is running out.
I look towards Mecca and my heart lightens at the thought of being at the House of my Lord.
We are at Arafah! The bus has stopped. There is a flurry of activity. We need to find our tent, and figure out what to do next. It feels like the middle of the night, and feels chilly in the desert. We stumble in the dark, and find our tent; exhaustion mixed with a sober anticipation of things to come freezes all thoughts.
Wudu and prayer is the first order of the morning. Wudu in the desert is a challenge even though there is a ladies restroom with running water and a 24/7 cleaning staff. I have a sudden appreciation of the depth of Allah Subhana wa taala’s love for Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his beloved wife Ayesha (RA) He SWT revealed the ayahs on Tayammum (dry ablution) to make it easy on them and their companions to perform salaat in the desert. After fajr, I begin my morning Dhikr, but my eyes are laden with sleep as if someone has injected me with a soporific. I fall over into a dead sleep in my sleeping bag. At the edge of my consciousness, I realize that Victoria has awakened and left the tent and others have awakened. I try to open my eyes but not only it is a soporific that is affecting me but I also feel that a muscle paralyzing agent is working on my muscles, I cannot move. Twice someone awakens me and I sit up but fall back into sleep. I vaguely recall from my Hajj preparation CDs that Shaitan does not want you to repent at Arafah for then he loses all the work he has done on that person in the past. Perhaps I had heard it on Mokhtar Magroubi’s CD on ‘the inner dimensions of Hajj’ or read it somewhere. Intellectually I am vaguely aware that Shaitan and my Nafs have me imprisoned in the excuse of sleep. Practically the mist of sleep is like a drug for unconsciousness. Time is passing, it is now middle of the morning, and I am still in a state of sleep paralysis. I feel someone kick my leg and shake me, “get up! Shaitaan has got you! we have already been to the Jabal e Rahma, it is beautiful, don’t you want to see it? It is Victoria, my friend, my companion in Hajj, always looking out for me. Jabal e Rahma …….my brain registers, the place where our father Adam (AS) and our mother Hawwa (Eve) (AS) met after roaming around this earth and seeking each other after banishment from jannah. Ah yes……….. Being the romantic that I am, I want to see the place where love bloomed and our lineage began. I sit up and try to shake out the sleep and muscle paralysis from my limbs to no avail. As if in a flash I realize, this is not tiredness from exhaustion, this is the age-old tug of war between shaitan aided by my Nafs and my Fitra of purity connected to the love of Allah. I push away the sleeping bag and stand up in one movement and head towards the rest rooms. I am looking for the sobering splash of cold water, a refreshing wudu to banish this imprisonment by the evil forces. Shireen and I meet up with another companion who serves as our guide. We hike towards Jabal e Rahma, and as we look across from our hill towards the Jabal e Rahma, it is dotted with white specks. Countless Hajjis in white Ihrams standing on the Jabal e Rahma in prayer, asking Allah for His mercy.
We return to the plain of Arafah and after Dhuhr, I read my book on Istighfaar, but not really connecting with the words. The mental barricades are up. There is static in my phone line to Allah SWT and time is running out. All my companions have disappeared, they have sought their private spaces in which to stand and seek tauba (repentance) from Allah. I am still at sea, lost, and unguided how to begin and where to begin. I pray a few more supplications but I cannot even pretend that they are from the heart, Asr comes and goes like a polite visitor, and I set out to find myself a spot. On this vast plain of Arafah, there is no private spot. Every inch seems to be packed with hajjis. I look around, everyone is standing in supplication and as I pass by them, they do not even know I am there. I find a short wall of stones, with the tent to my left and a tree to my right and all the Hajis dotted at intervals behind me. I stand in silence. Suddenly the flood gates of patience break, the barricades of superficial self defense crumble and the dammed water of anger, pain, sadness, recriminations, regret, anguish, loss, and mistakes gushes out with such a force that I think it gets His (SWT) attention and He (SWT) stops to listen……..I am crying? Yes I am! I am now talking to him directly, the lines are open and he can hear me loud and clear. “My child you took my child……. My mother ……..”, I go on and on, my one sided soliloquy is with Him and Him alone. I sense His complete attention, He is listening patiently, He does not interrupt me He does not offer solace, nor comfort, nor explanation. As the evening moves forward to meet its night visitor, I feel His (SWT) formless, wordless answers enter and settle into my heart one by one bringing with them comfort, solace, retreat, and a weightlessness. I am spent! I look around. All the people around me have disappeared and Maghrib is at hand. I go in search for my companions; we have to leave for Muzdalifa, to sleep in relief under the stars, as the Prophet (PBUH) did.
I pause and think of The man (PBUH) whose only thought was submission to Allah. He too stood here and begged Him (SWT) for acceptance of tauba from his Ummah for all the generations to come to Arafah. Love and a profound respect enter my heart, love for a man who wept and prayed for his (PBUH) Ummah and that includes me. Right here! I am truly humbled.
Somewhere on the plain of Arafah, there is a rectangle of sand soaked with my tears, where I left my regrets, my recriminations and my sins, with a supplication that they never be reclaimed.
Masjid Quds in Capetown, South Africa :
Photo taken from behind the engraved glass balustrade on the balcony of the womens prayer mezzanine, looking down at the men's prayer section.
A truly beautiful Masjed with truly good people in it. My Bhabi's father took Shahada there.
