DO WE REFLECT?

“If we never reflect on what we have then we do not know what we lose”.

(Excerpted from the retreat on Tazkiyah Nafs 08 with Sheikh Mokhtar Magroubi)

DO NOT WASTE………..

Guidelines from Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)

As a seeker of Allah do not waste:

1. Food

2. Water. Be moderate even if given an entire flowing stream of water to use for perfomance of wudu.

3. the energy of the tongue, use it for the Dhikr of Allah

4. Energy of the limbs (arms and legs)

5. Time

These are the the beginning basics when approaching the process of Tazkiyah tun Nafs

(Taken from the retreat on Tazkiyah tun Nafs 08 by Sheikh Mokhtar Magroubi)

LOVE & THE LAST COLLECTION

It is one of those long hot timeless afternoons when you look at the verdant surroundings and wonder what the gardens of jannah will be like? You feel the oppressive heat and pray that you never have to ever be close to the Heat of Hell.
The lethargy of the brain and the exhaustion of emotions allow me to think of the Swat weekend as a movie in slow motion and appreciate and relive those moments of love.

It is true that all one needs is a little bit of love. But the most ambitious want is the desire for the Love of Allah (SWT). He gives out His (SWT) love in many different ways and sometimes through many different people, and almost never from the standard sources that you would most expect it from.

It is when I compartmentalize where, how and what kind of love should come from whom, where and how that disappointments occur. My mother would call these “expectations of affection” She strongly discouraged having expectations from others to return your love.

Her concept of having no expectations from your loved ones was quite foreign to me. In all the education I had received (mostly western thought) there is this give and take of affection, need and want and measured reciprocation.

So it had always perplexed me as how does one give affection in a particular relationship without expecting it back? What I did not know was that she was teaching me the very essence of Islam, which is giving “Fi SabeelAllah” giving for the sake of Allah without asking for reciprocation from the individual to whom it is given.

I realize now that giving affection with an expectation of receiving it back is like giving a gift in the hope of getting it returned to you perhaps even manifold

Generosity of material goods is quite easy except for the exceptionally stingy. It is when one gives of ones time, ones love and affection without fear of hurt or reciprocation that one unveils the inside of ones heart and makes it transparent to the recipient.

This act of giving of love is usually followed by fear, as the giver and the thoughtless receiver may consider an unveiled transparent heart, which hides nothing, vulnerable to the strike of hurt.

In the give and take of love in contemporary times, what has almost never been placed in the equation is the power of Allah in this exchange.

After studying some of Imam Ghazali’s work on Love of Allah and The Purification of the Heart by Sheikh Magroubi, I understand that if one gives of ones love fi sabeelallah than the love one receives back is from Allah which may be now in this world via his creation, or later through Him (SWT) directly.

When I accept that Allah SWT is in the equation, being transparent with my love becomes easy and without strings attached.

When someone is mean, I must look at my actions for any source of disobedience of Allah for it may be the reason the landscape around me has changed.

The best treatment when things do not go our way in the reciprocation of emotion or otherwise despite an honest effort on our part is Istighfaar.
In reviewing our actions of the day or the week we may obviously find our specific disobedience to Allah SWT or we may not.

The Prophet (PBUH) who was unsullied by such base behavior would do Istighfaar more than seventy times a day. When asked why some one of his purity of stature would need to do Istighfaar he said and I paraphrase…….Do I not want to enter in Jannah to be with my Lord?

A Pearl from RasullAllah (PBUH):
اللَّهُمَّ إنَّكَ تَسمَعُ كَلامِي، و تَرَى مَكَانِي، و تَعْلَمُ سِرِّي و عَلانِيَتي، و لا يَخفَى عَلَيكَ شَيءٌ مِن أَمرِي، و أَنَا البَائِسُ الفَقِير، ﺍﻟﻤُﺴﺘَﻐِﻴﺚُ المُسْتَجِيرُ، والوَجِلُ المُشفِقُ المُقِرُ المُعتََرِفُ إِلَيكَ بِذَنبِهِ، أسأَلُكَ مَسأَلَةَ المِسكِين، وأَبْتَهِلُ إلَيكَ اِبْتِهَالِ المُذْنِبِ الذَلِيل، و أَدْعُوكَ دُعآءَ الخَائِفُ الضَرِيرُ، دُعآءَ مَنْ خَضَعَتْ لَكَ رَقَبَتُهُ، و فَاضَتْ لَكَ عَبْرَتُهُ، و ذَلَّ لَكَ جِسْمُهُ، و رَغَمَ لَكَ أَنْفُهُ. اللَّهُمَّ لا تَجْعَلنِي بِدُعَائِكَ شَقِياً، و كُنْ بِيَ رَؤُوفَاً، يَا خَيرَ المَسْؤُولِينَ، و خَيرَ المُعْطِينَ.

“Allaahumma innaka tasma‘u kalaamee, wa taraa makaanee, wa ta‘lamu sirree wa ‘alaaniyatee, wa laa yakhfaa ‘alayka shay’un min ’amree, wa ’anal-baa’isu al-faqeer, wal-mustaagheethu al-mustajeer, wal-wajilu al-mushfiqu al-muqiru al-mu‘tarifu ilayka bi-dhambih. As’aluka mas’alata al-miskeen, wa’abtahilu ilayka ibtihaal al-mudhnibi idh-dhaleel, wa ad‘ooka du‘aa’ al-khaa’ifu ad-dareer, du‘aa’a man khada‘at laka raqabatuhu, wa dhalla laka jismuhu, wa raghama laka anfuh. Allaahumma laa taj‘alnee bidu‘aa’ika shaqeeyaa, wa kun beeya ra’oofaa, ya khairal-mas’ooleen, wa khairal-mu‘teen.”

“Ô Allaah, You hear my words, and You see my place. You know my secret and manifest. Nothing of me is hidden from You. I am the miserable, poor one appealing for protection. I am the frightened, pitiful one acknowledging and confessing to You his sins.

I beg You the begging of a needy one and I implore you the imploring of a humiliated sinful one. And I pray to you the prayer of the ailing fearful one; a prayer of one whose neck has bowed to You, whose tears of pain have flooded his eyes, whose body has in servitude humbled itself to you and whose pride has been lowered to the ground for you.

Ô Allaah, let not my share in Your prayer be misery, and be compassionate to me, Ô Most-Responsive of those who are asked, and Ô Most-Giving of those who give.”

Personally when the fear of being hurt by a power other than Allah arises in my heart I remind myself of this supplication:

اللّهُـمَّ لا مانِعَ لِما أَعْطَـيْت، وَلا مُعْطِـيَ لِما مَنَـعْت، وَلا يَنْفَـعُ ذا الجَـدِّ مِنْـكَ الجَـد .
“Allaahumma laa maani‘a limaa a‘tayt, wa laa mu‘tiya limaa mana‘t. Wa laa yanfa‘u dhal-jaddi minkal-jadd.”

“Ô Allaah, none can prevent what You have willed to bestow. And none can bestow what You have willed to prevent. And no wealth or majesty can benefit anyone, as from You is all wealth and majesty.”

Going back to Love by the Grace of Allah:
We are at a small college up north where Tariq spent barely a year, the friendships forged in that time have transferred to us as his family, the love of his friends is now showered upon us. I continuously thank Allah SWT that He placed in the hearts of these young people, Tariqs friends, such compassion, love and transparency, so as to envelope us in the clarity of their affection.

It is evening and we are at the coffee shop and meet G who was Tariq’s colleague in the school paper, She tells me that it is “Tariq’s doing” that she is going to Morocco to learn Arabic. I look upon this beautiful girl, her clear blue eyes swimming in tears, how Allah SWT has blessed Shireen, Paul and me with her love and compassion.

We start to walk towards the Last Collection and there is E , Tariq’s co host on the radio. He has grown even taller, his face serious and thoughtful, as he speaks of Tariq, another transparent heart reaching out to us with love and affection.

Outside it is raining, thundering and dark though the evening is young. We walk into the auditorium, it looks different from the last time I sat here with Tariq listening to the Dean of students, he relaxed in body, alert in mind drinking in what she was saying and totally immersed in the moment. The day bright and sunshiny, unlike today.

We are seated in the front row; the seats are all filled with graduating students and their loved ones. As Ben begins his talk, walking the path with Tariq by his side, my mind wanders like a lost child between Paul silently sobbing on my right and Shireen dabbing her eyes carefully restrained in her display of emotion on my left.

Ben………..opening a window of Tariq’s life at Swarthmore, sharing him with us, in so many ways. While I am listening to Ben, latching on to the new memories of Tariq, wanting to walk the paths of Swarthmore, hearing Tariq’s laugh as he cracks up on something Ben says, I am once again thrown into the role of the mediator. The role I have played all my life where I have to shelve my own concerns and feelings because others so close to me are in distress……

I am deeply grateful to Allah SWT for Ben, G and all of Tariq’ friends, colleagues and even younger students who came after the presentation to hug me, share some of Tariq’s memories, and tell us how glad and appreciative they were of our presence here.

………….And so the evening passed, a rite of passage for Tariq’s friends to leave Swat and take as a small part of the memory of Swat, something of Tariq, perhaps his characteristic laugh, his humor or his music with them, filtered into the transparency of their hearts like sunshine to bring joy at unexpected moments far away somewhere where life takes them.

…………And after Paul and Shireen left for home that night of the Last Collection, I stayed back to witness the passage of Tariq’s class into adulthood.

Starting with fireworks that night on the Parrish Beach as Tariq affectionately called the lawn in front of Parrish Hall, and ending with a beautiful sparkling morning of grace, beauty and idealism at the Scott Amphitheatre.

As each graduate walked into their own private future, each was blessed by Allah SWT to reach into their core for the hidden gem of purity called ‘fitra’ given by Him, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

ALL SIGNS LEAD TO ONE GOD 6: 149-150

6:149 Say: “With Allah is the argument that reaches home: if it had been His will, He could indeed have guided you all.”

Qul falillahi alhujjatu albalighatu falaw shaa lahadakum ajmaAAeena

قُلْ فَلِلّهِ الْحُجَّةُ الْبَالِغَةُ فَلَوْ شَاء لَهَدَاكُمْ أَجْمَعِينَ (6:149)
6:150 Say: “Bring forward your witnesses to prove that Allah did forbid so and so.” If they bring such witnesses, be not thou amongst them: Nor follow thou the vain desires of such as treat our signs as falsehoods, and such as believe not in the Hereafter: for they hold others as equal with their Guardian-Lord.

Qul halumma shuhadaakumu allatheena yashhadoona anna Allaha harrama hatha fain shahidoo fala tashhad maAAahum wala tattabiAA ahwaa allatheena kaththaboo biayatina waallatheena la yuminoona bialakhirati wahum birabbihim yaAAdiloona
قُلْ هَلُمَّ شُهَدَاءكُمُ الَّذِينَ يَشْهَدُونَ أَنَّ اللّهَ حَرَّمَ هَـذَا فَإِن شَهِدُواْ فَلاَ تَشْهَدْ مَعَهُمْ وَلاَ تَتَّبِعْ أَهْوَاء الَّذِينَ كَذَّبُواْ بِآيَاتِنَا وَالَّذِينَ لاَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِالآخِرَةِ وَهُم بِرَبِّهِمْ يَعْدِلُونَ (6:150

Tafseer (Farhat Hashmi)

149: There is no daleel (proof) for Shirk, all daleels are for Tawheed (belief in the continuous oneness of God).
People looked at different things and they started worshipping everything, the sun in the morning and the moon in the evening, the fire on a cold night and so on.
Once people started examining the scientific basis of the universe they realized that the discipline and harmony of the world is because One Creator not two or more is running it.

Allah has shown all the daleels for Tawheed and disproving Shirk, by many types of examples and signs plus examples of past history,
As humans study science they are discovering that all things in the world are in movement and are moving anticlockwise starting with the atom. The entire universe is in harmony from the simplest act of birth and development to the course of the suns and moons.
My take: All the scientific facts that match those mentioned in the Quran are basically a proof from Allah to the human intellect to understand that He and He alone is the Creator and there is no one else who can do what He can and thus we must submit to this truth and worship Him and follow His commands.

IS IT THE TRUTH BECAUSE EVERYONE SAYS SO?
6:150 Bring out your frontline witnesses, those who bear witness that Allah has made those things haraam that they are making haraam, if they give such witness then do not give witness with them and do not follow those who have disbelieved our signs and do not believe in the Day of Judgment and those who bring others equal to your Lord (Shirk).

Kuloo ma saaadiqueen, Follow or support the truthful.
On the Day of Judgment the truthful will reap the benefits of their truthfulness.

Despite the proofs of tawheed given by Allah and presented by our Prophet to the people they do not want to acquiesce, the reason is their nafs and stubborn desires and their arrogant personal views.
Support those who are truthful and do not support those who bring proofs for lies even If they are in majority and all of them agree on the lie. Even if you are the only person left who is upstanding for the truth. Because on the Day of Judgment only the truthful will be rewarded,
Support the truthful, Do not support those who deny Allah’s signs and proofs due to their own desires, their stubbornness to follow their own views and their nafs and do not support those who do not believe in the Day of Judgment.
Lessons of Taqwa:
1. DO NOT SUPPORT THOSE WHO GIVE WITNESS TO LIES EVEN IF THEY ARE IN THE MAJORITY.
2. THOSE WHO DENY THE SIGNS OF ALLAH DO NOT FOLLOW THEIR DESIRES AND WAYS.

What exercises help you control your desires or your Hawa?

Surah Al Anaam 6:1-24 for……..

Surah Al Anaam:

A Guide for living

A message of empowerment

A guide to do’s, don’ts and why’s of life

A window into the soul of human psychology

A journey to see and understand the signs of Allah

A book of etiquette

An analysis of past events and the types of rulers and ruled.

A lesson in history of what happened to those who disobeyed Allah SWT

Ayah 17 A supplication for strengthening the heart with the security of Allah’s love and protection.

A confirmation of “a term” for life

A gentle cajoling by the Divine Teacher for his students to see His (SWT) signs and accept Tawheed

Surah Al Anaam the essential guide for Dawah for your heart and your friends.

THE RED & GREEN OF SYRIA…..

I have dozed off in the van in which we are going North of Damascus. I open my eyes and look out of the window. I am confused……Is this Georgia with its deep red earth or Switzerland with its green valleys………..but when I dozed off I was in the desert.

And so is Syria, a desert, a mountain range, a lush valley and red earth. The oldest continuously populated city in the world (Damascus), with the oldest cafe in the world with a continuous story teller. 88% of the population is literate, and grows the most delicious and pure food in the world, untainted by imported chemicals.

I thought of all the Syrians I know in the USA. Would I feed my children MacDonalds hamburgers if I could give them this delicious and nutritious food? I don’t know I haven’t walked in their shoes to know why they would do that to their children…….and while thinking this I doze off again.

LOVING, GIVING AND WASTING………….6:141

6:141 It is He Who produceth gardens, with trellises and without, and dates, and tilth with produce of all kinds, and olives and pomegranates, similar (in kind) and different (in variety): eat of their fruit in their season, but render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered. But waste not by excess: for Allah loveth not the wasters

Wahuwa allathee anshaa jannatin maAArooshatin waghayra maAArooshatin waalnnakhla waalzzarAAa mukhtalifan okuluhu waalzzaytoona waalrrummana mutashabihan waghayra mutashabihin kuloo min thamarihi itha athmara waatoo haqqahu yawma hasadihi wala tusrifoo innahu la yuhibbu almusrifeena

وَهُوَ الَّذِي أَنشَأَ جَنَّاتٍ مَّعْرُوشَاتٍ وَغَيْرَ مَعْرُوشَاتٍ وَالنَّخْلَ وَالزَّرْعَ مُخْتَلِفًا أُكُلُهُ وَالزَّيْتُونَ وَالرُّمَّانَ مُتَشَابِهًا وَغَيْرَ مُتَشَابِهٍ كُلُواْ مِن ثَمَرِهِ إِذَا أَثْمَرَ وَآتُواْ حَقَّهُ يَوْمَ حَصَادِهِ وَلاَ تُسْرِفُواْ إِنَّهُ لاَ يُحِبُّ الْمُسْرِفِينَ (6:141)

Tafseer from Farhat Hashmi (alhudapk.com)

This ayah also has two messages:
1. Allah describes His bounties in different kinds of fruits and vegetables. He graciously gifts us the fruit to eat in the season but reminds us of the part of the produce that needs to be given away (Land watered by natural rain area 1/10, canal irrigated 1/20).

2. Definition of Israaf: Being excessive, wasteful of our God given bounties of nature and nurture, food, etc.

3. Allah commands us not to waste by being excessive in either direction and states that and Allah does not love those who are wasteful:

There are three kinds of people whom Allah does not love who do Israaf (wasteful):

1. Those who spend excessively beyond ones limit and give away everything for a good cause without keeping some to fulfill the rights of their family.
The example given is the story of Thabith bin Qais: He gave away for a good cause his entire date garden and left nothing for his family, at which time the ayah regarding israaf was revealed

2. Those who buy or serve for themselves excessive amounts and neither use it for themselves nor give it to someone else but let it waste and rot and then throw it away. (Depriving others who could have benefited from it.)

3. Those who use Allah’s bounties for the disobedience of Allah (The Kuffar used to reserve the cattle and entire fields and gardens of fruit and vegetables for the false Gods and prevented people from eating from them.

My take: Many times people take Allahs bounties of fruit (grapes) and make poison (alcohol) out of it and camouflage it with fruit juice to make it palatable.

It then becomes an instrument of instant death for someone else (drunk driver) or slow death (liver cirrhosis) or dhulm in the family (wife and child beating under the influence) or forgetting the sins one committed while under the influence (actions done during alcohol, forgotten later termed ‘blackout’)

Allah does not love those people who are excessive in either direction and usurp the rights of others either way:

Surah Al Isra: 017.029 Make not thy hand tied (like a niggard’s) to thy neck, nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach, so that thou become blameworthy and destitute.

Hadith: Do not give so much away that you become dependant on others

Even at death one is not allowed to give away more than one third (heba) so that the rightful heirs are not deprived of their inheritance.

007.031 O Children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.

Any mistakes in this tafseer are from me and my ignorance and lack of understanding, may Allah SWT forgive me and guide me, and what is good and accurate in this is from Allah SWT.

May ALlah SWT bless Farhat Hashmi for sharing her ilm of deen with all of us.

Which areas in your life are you consciously not wasteful?

ALLAH KNOWS BEST

Whatever Allaah does….it is for our best

by Asma bint Shameem

When my daughter was 2 years old, she loved to play with the water in the commode. Yes, that’s right….the commode. Yuck!! That’s nasty! You would say. But to her, that was the delight of the day! Splish…splash! To her there was nothing like it! And so when I would prevent her from it, she would scream and cry and wouldn’t want to stop. She didn’t understand how harmful that was for her. In her little mind, I took away something that she really enjoyed.

And when I would take her to the doctor to have her immunization shots, she didn’t understand either. She would howl at the top of her lungs at the first sight of the needle and would run the other way. It would take two of us just to hold her down! To her, frankly, it was plain torture! Her innocent little mind simply could not even begin to understand how, on earth, could being tortured by a needle, be good for you?!! She didn’t realize that this ‘needle’ will Insha Allaah protect her from certain illnesses and harm that is much more severe than the prick of this little needle.

So what’s the point here?

The point I am trying to make is that we, as parents sometimes do things for our kids, out of our great love and concern for them, which they may not understand. They do not see the wisdom behind it, although we do, and so we carry out those things because we know it will be better for them.

And for Allaah is the Highest example. (Surah Nahl:60) وَلِلّهِ الْمَثَلُ الْأَعْلَىَ

So when Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta’ala , in His Infinite Wisdom, tests us with a situation that we think is difficult or takes away something that in our mind was good for us, we need to remember that perhaps it may not be so. Perhaps if we had continued in our way, it might have been harmful for us and whatever

Allaah decreed for us is actually better for us, for He is All-Wise and All-Knowing.

Allaah says:

“…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know.” (Surah Baqarah: 216)

Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”

Remember that we are dealing with the One who is Arham ar-Raahimeen, the Most Merciful of all that show mercy. All the mercy that we have in this world from Adam (Alaiyhi Salaam) to the Day of Judgment is only one hundredth of the Mercy of the Most Merciful. And He is Most Wise. He knows and we don’t know.

So have faith in Him and trust in Him and although, sometimes we may not understand the reason behind certain things, know that as long as you obey Him, whatever He will do for you is, in fact for your betterment.

So if Allaah didn’t give you that big house, or that nice car you wanted or that big raise you were hoping for, know in your mind and believe in your heart that it is actually better for you. Who knows…..maybe that big house, that car or that money would have become a source of ‘fitnah’ for you….Perhaps you would have become arrogant and conceited because of it, and Allaah saved you from it. Because, you know that the Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:

“Any one in whose heart is even a mustard seed’s worth of pride will not enter Paradise.” (Muslim)

And if you have been sick and suffering, sure it is not easy. But again, know in your mind and believe in your heart that it is indeed better for you. For, if you bear patiently, it will be a means of expiation for your sins and a source of great reward. The Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:

“There is nothing that befalls a believer, not even a thorn that pricks him, but Allaah will record one good deed for him and will remove one bad deed from him.” (Muslim)

And: “On the Day of Resurrection, when people who had suffered affliction are given their reward, those who were healthy will wish their skins had been cut to pieces with scissors when they were in the world (when they see the immense rewards for the afflictions they suffered).” (Tirmidhi-Saheeh by al-Albaani)

If Allaah took away a dear, loved one, believe, from the bottom of your heart, that surely this was better. For, you never know, had the one who passed away lived longer, may be his life would have been one of sins and disobedience and Allaah, out of His Mercy, took him before that….in a state of Imaan.

And if life has been difficult, worries surround you and calamities after calamities befall you, hear the good news from the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam): “Trials will continue to befall the believing man and woman, with regard to themselves, their children and their wealth, until they meet Allaah with no sin on them.” (Tirmidhi– saheeh by al-Albaani)

Subhaan Allaah! No sin?! And what is it from this world that you wouldn’t give up, just to meet Allaah with no sin??!!

Remember that the One Who is testing you is the Most Wise, the Most Merciful and the Most Loving…..and that He did not send this calamity in order to destroy you….or cause you pain or finish you off. Rather, He is checking on you, testing your patience, acceptance and faith; it is so that He may hear your du’a and supplication, so that He may see you standing before Him….seeking His protection….filled with humility and complaining to Him, alone. The difficulties you face is a reminder for you to return to Allaah and ask for forgiveness from Him. Who knows… if He didn’t give you the difficulty, maybe you would have strayed from Him far, far away….

Ibn Taymiyah said: A calamity that makes you turn to Allaah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allaah.”

Thus in our times of trouble, when we go through pain and suffering and in our times of loss, we need to trust Allaah. We need to keep in mind that as long as we fear Him and try our best to obey Him, He will never do us wrong. He will protect us and guide us and do the best for us, no matter what the situation apparently looks like. Allaah says in a hadeeth Qudsi:

“I am as my slave thinks of me and I am with him whenever he remembers me.” (Agreed Upon).

It is actually a sign of our weakness and shortsightedness, that we tend to focus on the calamities themselves, without paying much attention to the benefits that they may bring. We also forget to look at all other innumerable blessings that we enjoy and see around us.

Our minds, our logic and our senses cannot even begin to fathom the Wisdom, the Knowledge and the Hikmah behind Allaah’s decisions and verdicts. It is He who is the Wise….it is He who is the Just and it is He who is the Knower of the unseen. If we trust in Allaah, He will suffice and it is He who will grant us goodness in any situation and under any circumstances.

“And when someone puts all his trust in Allah, He will be enough for him.” (Surah at-Talaaq:3)

The Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:

“If you put your trust completely in Allah, He will arrange for your sustenance in the same way as He provides for the birds. They go out in the morning with their stomachs empty and return filled in the evening.” (Tirmidhi-saheeh).

So trust Him….for, there is much reward in trusting Him…..it is Jannah. And there is sin in distrusting Him. Calamities and disasters are a test, and they are a sign of Allaah’s love for a person. They are like medicine: even though it is bitter, yet, in spite of its bitterness you still give it to the one whom you love….

“The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allaah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” (Saheeh al-Tirmidhi)

THE LAST RITE OF PASSAGE………………..

Last night Ben wrote………………..
“I hope you are doing well. I’m writing because a few of Tariq’s friends have been planning on how to remember Tariq at our graduation ceremonies this year. The planners for graduation decided that a good time to have one of his friends say a few words and lead a moment of silence for Tariq would be at Last Collection on Saturday, May 31, and it was decided that I should say a few words………….”

He attached an article he had written which said………..
“When I argue that we should embrace “ethical irreverence” as a concept, I mean to say that we must open our hearts to the people who have led us to where we are today. At the same time, we cannot afford to give our professors and parents the pedestal they might assume. We graduate to change the world, not to revere it.

As I write my last piece for The Phoenix, a newspaper for which I have written almost continuously since my second week as a student here, I think of would-be fellow graduate and my former Phoenix colleague, Tariq, who died in a car accident in July 2005. On the surface, our friendship may have seemed unlikely — I, a Jewish day school graduate from suburban Washington, DC; he, a Muslim from Georgia.

What we shared, and what I learned from him, were the seeds of what I am proposing here. His open-heart, love for his friends and love for life were complemented by a sense that no icon was too sacred for a good laugh or a little fun.

At newspaper meetings, he was always willing to challenge the conventional wisdom expressed during any debate, regardless of if we were discussing a profound political matter or whether or not to get pizza after a Monday night editorial board meeting.

In the spirit of ethical irreverence that Tariq, in many ways, embodied, I tried jokingly to provoke him by arguing at the cafeteria dinner that Abraham Lincoln was, in fact, our country’s worst president, as he should have just let the South secede so that we wouldn’t have to deal with it today.

Tariq, proud of home and family, clearly would not let this preposterous point stand. His defense of the South was just as vigorous as his epic discourses on the merits of “crunk” rapper Li’l Jon. I write this column with the memory of his unmistakable laugh and deep heart in my mind…………”

Soon after reading this, I thought………How amazingly lovely of Tariq’s friends to remember him as a rite of passage from college.

I immediately knew I could not miss this evening with Tariq’s friends as they meet for the last time to then be scattered like the petals of a dandelion by the wind of time.

And then the Executive Assistant from the Office of the President wrote…………..
“I am writing to let you know that as a part of the Commencement activities this year Tariq’s friends wanted very much to honor him and have selected his friend Ben to offer a tribute to him during the Last Collection on Saturday afternoon, May 31.
The President will, as well, speak of Tariq in his remarks to graduates and their families. We would like to invite you to attend the weekend’s events and ceremonies if you would wish to do so……….”

Do I wish to do so? Yes I do! Will I be able to sit through two days of remembrance, I would like to. It seems a rite of passage for me in seeing Tariq’s friends grow up and graduate and leave the confines of the college walls wearing his memory as a deep sweet fragrance which refreshes their life as they move on. Will it be easy?………No it will not.
Does Paul wish to do so………only to Ben’s talk. He does not feel he can sit through the graduation ceremonies. Will I ? I don’t know, but I feel I have to be there to represent Tariq and pass on his joy at this important milestone in the life of his friends.

So Paul does not? at least not to the graduation, And I do…..So where does that leave us?

In my minds eye I imagine the garden amphitheatre where the last drama of Tariq’s college life, and his friends will take place. His friends one by one will receive an acknowledgment of their maturity and their ability to survive the outer world, as they will pass in front of us enveloped in the happy aura of the event.

Sitting in the amphitheatre where I sat with Tariq in life, I will be with his friends knowing that he has already graduated into a Magnificient realm of Bliss where he is happy and well taken care of.

For Tariq, Im, Ebad and Nabeel, Allah SWT promises in Surah Al Insaan:

076.011: But Allah will deliver them from the evil of that Day, and will shed over them a Light of Beauty and (blissful) Joy.
076.012: And because they were patient and constant, He will reward them with a Garden and (garments of) silk.

076.013: Reclining in the (Garden) on raised thrones, they will see there neither the sun’s (excessive heat) nor (the moon’s) excessive cold.
076.014: And the shades of the (Garden) will come low over them, and the bunches (of fruit), there, will hang low in humility.
076.015: And amongst them will be passed round vessels of silver and goblets of crystal
076.016: Crystal-clear, made of silver: they will determine the measure thereof (according to their wishes).
076.017: And they will be given to drink there of a Cup (of Wine) mixed with Zanjabil
076.018: A fountain there, called Salsabil.
076.019: And round about them will (serve) youths of perpetual (freshness): If thou seest them, thou wouldst think them scattered Pearls.
076.020: And when thou lookest, it is there thou wilt see a Bliss and a Realm Magnificent.
076.021: Upon them will be green Garments of fine silk and heavy brocade, and they will be adorned with Bracelets of silver; and their Lord will give to them to drink of a Wine Pure and Holy.
076.022: “Verily this is a Reward for you, and your Endeavour is accepted and recognized.”

……………And for Ben and all of Tariq’s friends at college:

002.062 
 Those who believe (in the Qur’an), and those who follow the Jewish (scriptures), and the Christians and the Sabians,- any who believe in Allah and the Last Day, and work righteousness, shall have their reward with their Lord; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.

Would you go to the graduation ceremony of the friends of your dead child? ………..And Should I?

A SIMPLE DUA……ON GRADUATION

Dear N,
Asalaam-o-alaikum,

We always like to tell people younger than us what to do and how to do it. In the west the young people’s response to this is that they tell the elders to mind their own business, in the east they listen politely and do exactly what they want to do.

So why do we continually give them unsought advice? I guess the key word here is unsought.
Let me share a story I am thinking of when I was a third year medical student in Karachi in a five year medical degree program. I am remembering this as I sit in the audience watching you and your classmates graduate from Medical School:

I am at Khalaji’s; I have decided to stop by after a hot day at Dow Medical College in Karachi. Khalaji and I have had an altercation sometime back. I with the limited knowledge of a third year medical student have diagnosed that she is perhaps in heart failure. She refuses to go to the Doctor or to the hospital.

I coax her till she reluctantly agrees. I call the rickshaw, her daughter J and I squeeze in with her and we are off to see my Medicine Professor who is a perfect gentleman. He opens the door for her with a flourish, salaams her with great humility and respect and leaves us outside while he sees her in his academic consulting office.

She comes out smiling and shows me the little pills he has not only prescribed but has sent his peon to get them for her. The event is over but she is sullen and feels resentful of her illness and indirectly resentful of me, as I am the bearer of the news of her illness.
Many months have passed since this episode and she is well and back to her old energetic self. Her cardiac failure has resolved.

So today……..I am heading towards her house. I want to see her and J, eat pakoras with her, drink tea and shoot the breeze

I almost run up the steps to her house two at a time and find myself ringing the bell. J opens the door and as I step in, I hear Khalaji calling me. How did she know it is me?

I walk in to her room, taking off my white coat. She commands me to come close and holds my face in her hand and kisses my cheeks and hands with gusto and with a devastatingly affectionate smile.
She then holds my head in her hands and gives me this dua:

May you become the best, biggest (waddi) and most famous Doctor and may you travel all over the world teaching people medicine.

Her hazel eyes mist over as she kisses my forehead and lets me go.

I laugh and tell her the chances of my doing that are slim and proceed to the kitchen to watch the pakoras being made as I sample them and chat with J. All is soon forgotten.

Recently I counted the twenty-six countries that I have been to, more than half are countries where I was invited to speak, teach a course or give a research paper. I am humbled……………Khalajis dua floating in the Universe long after she is gone, carrying me to the far corners of the world, opening my eyes, my brain and…….my heart. Just one dua!

So N, I know you are a good son, a wonderful friend and inshallah a compassionate doctor. As you graduate today, I will not burden you with what I think you should do or become.

My dua for you simply is:

May you get your heart’s desire and may Allah beautify it for you.
Ameen.

May Allah reward you with Khair,
Affectionately yours,
Auntie A