ARRIVING AT THE RETREAT FOR TAZKIYAH NAFS………….

I am at the airport and they are here to pick me up along with the other retreaters. This time, I am not stressed, I know that whatever arrangements Allah SWT has planned for me to get there will happen.
As the car ascends the mountains, in a caravan, packed with the retreaters I feel the tension ebb away from me…………I literally feel that I am going to be deposited at the beginner’s point of the hike to The Path of the Seekers of Allah.

How presumptuous of me……….nevertheless my heart lifts as I go deeper and deeper into the mountains and only the blocking of my ears tells me that I have also made a literal ascent of the body and not only of the heart and soul.

Why do I feel elated?  Is it because this is the third time and I know what to expect or is it because I have dropped all presuppositions and allowed myself to float like a leaf in the river of faith, allowing it to take me wherever the Divine hand guides it.

I no longer try to steer my path, nor try and change behavior of my companions, I make a mental note that it is myself that I will need to adjust. Why am I here for the third time, I know the answer to that……I am a slow learner.

This time I have no need to talk, to get to know others, nor do I feel responsible to keep a conversation going. I enjoy the permission that I have been given, to remain silent.

When I reach our room in the lodge, I do one thing different that I have learned from my travel companion V. I unpack daily essentials and organize them in the appropriate places. I make sure that I have the right things available for the right activities without having to search for them, and I head to the basement or the musallah.

As I step on the last stair that always creaks the loudest when there is a latecomer for salaah, I feel I am home. The room smells musty like a home that has missed its dwellers. The crisply clean green carpet welcomes me; I am told at another time that the Christian camp owners especially fixed this carpet and this room for the Muslim retreaters.

I think of King Nagashi. Did he not help the Muslims in time of dire need and then did his heart not turn towards the ultimate submission to the one God………..I wonder at the red haired man who runs the camp, he sits in one of the salaahs with his feet folded like a Muslim who has spent his life on the musallah and I wonder about his heart…………… And so begins the introduction of the retreat which holds the map to the hiking trail for the Seeker of the Almighty………..