THE WALL………….

July………….it is for me what December is for brother Anis.
It will be four years this July 13 when the cops came to our house to tell me that Tariq was “deceased”.
As I enter the last days of June, I can hear the anger of the ocean of grief rising with every passing moment. The tumultuous waters I cannot see, nor feel as there is a wall between me and them.

A wall created by the Dhikr and remembrance of Allah. I do not know when it went up, but when ever I hear the rising anger of the wild ocean of grief, I feel the wall separating me, protecting me from the raging waters, from being lost in them forever………my wall……. made to protect me from drowning in the ocean of grief…….made by Him Subhanawataala,

All I can think as I hear the angry lap of the waves of grief on the other side of the wall and feel their aggressive anger is:

“Then which of the favors of your Lord will ye deny?”   055.028

He protects me from the tidal wave gaining strength on the other side of the wall……….it is July again and as the waves of the sea of grief gain strength and crash against the wall …….it stands sentinel, strong and witness to all the grief as it protects me from its thunder.

I have to remind myself to thank Him Subhanawataala for protecting me and say:
002.156 YUSUFALI: Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”

If you Pray……………

Palestinian refugees

“I should not make any promises right now,
But I know if you
Pray
Somewhere in this world -
Something good will happen.”

Hafiz

The Cure For Your Heart Attack………..10:57

Dedicated to all my brothers and sisters who have suffered from a Heart Attack…………….

a letter……………….

Asalaam-o-alaikum my dear brother,

You have been in my thoughts and prayers ever since I heard of your near miss with a heart attack, I have read and re read your note updating us on your physical state. In between the lines the sadness, the sorrow, the resignation and fear of disability leak out with the pain and perseverance of being downed physically, and patched in between are rays of hope with supplications.

I have thought about writing a response and have had no words come to me till this morning as I sat down to review the tafseer of Surah Younus with Dr. Farhat Hashmi, and as I reached this ayah I felt, Allah Subhanwataala was putting words where I had none …………

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ قَدۡ جَآءَتۡكُم مَّوۡعِظَةٌ۬ مِّن رَّبِّڪُمۡ وَشِفَآءٌ۬ لِّمَا فِى ٱلصُّدُورِ وَهُدً۬ى وَرَحۡمَةٌ۬ لِّلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ (٥٧)

(O mankind! There hath come unto you an exhortation from your Lord, a balm for that which is in the breasts, a guidance and a mercy for believers. (10: 57)
and:
17.082
We send down (stage by stage) in the Qur’an that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe: to the unjust it causes nothing but loss after loss.

As Dr. Farhat Hashmi explained, I was rooted to the  spot:
Tafseer:

A man came to RasoolAllah (pbuh) and he complained about his heart and said, “ I have pain in my heart” RasoolAllah responded “read (recite) Quran because Allah SWT says that this Quran is a cure for what is in the breast. (Your heart) “

In the chest resides the heart and it has lots of diseases both spiritual and physical. In The spiritual diseases include envy (hasad) riya, keena, badgumani, anger, badneeyati, arrogance, depression, sadness, sorrow, ujub, Bughuz, and many others.
Allah Subhanawataala has given the cure to Mankind at large and to the Momineen specifically

However, when do the words of God become a cure? This depends on if the cure is known and used, in the therapeutic manner that has been prescribed by Allah Subhanwataala and I paraphrase “for truly in Dhikr do ones heart finds rest”.

If the medicine that is going to cure an ailment sits on a counter and is not administered it does not work. Medicine only works when the medicine is taken at the correct time in the correct dose, and in the ideal frequency. Thus is the Quran it cannot be a cure if it sits unused in both the frequency and doses as prescribed by our Rasool (pbuh). If it remains in a bookshelf wrapped in a cover, it cannot work as a cure for our hearts.

The first step is to believe that Allah Subhanataala has given us the solution of every problem in dunya in the Quran. How does the Quran become a cure? It becomes a cure for our ailment when one honestly and sincerely begins to recite and review the Quran, the answers and solutions unravel as one reads, reviews and connects with yaqeen with Allah through His Subhanwataala’s words.

If psychologically one does not have yaqeen that Allah has sent this as a cure, it does not work. Neither does it work if one is insincere, and the ikhlaas between Allah and me is missing. The wall of cynicism, insincerity and arrogance in ones own abilities has to come down for the cure to be poured on us and instilled in us.

When we sit and read the Quran, the pain, the fear, the sorrow that is in our hearts and chest eases as Allah Subhanawataala’s words speak to us.
Only if we have approached Him and His words with sincerity with the true belief and yaqeen that He truly does what is best for us, and that He created us and wants us to turn to Him when in difficulty or in pain. It is only then that His words, and instructions become the cure.
As I listened to her tafseer  I reflected on my own experience and I share it with you:

My experience:
If one approaches the Quran in search for a cure, as a solution for pain both physical and psychological, and we place all our symptoms, pains, aches, disabilities, and agonies in front of Him and we recite His words in search…………..of solutions, He turns to us.

He guides our hands and minds to the solutions hidden in the pages of the Mushaf.
Something we may have read before with a closed heart and mind or as a literary interest rather than a spiritual act of seeking help, cure, and treatment, now transforms into a solution to our desperate search.

Suddenly the pages open to the words that seem like they were written for me. Words that are the cure for the pain in my heart, for my tired brain searching for solace, peace and comfort. I wonder how come I had read this ayah before and it had never registered as a solution of my continuing agony and my persistent ailment of huzn.

Being an allopathic physician we are taught to discount all spiritual aspects of treatment. The reason being that some charlatans have used it to dupe innocent people, who are in need of help for either a physical ailment that does not respond to regular medicine or an agony for which they have been told there is no cure. Thus we as physicians have used the either or paradigm and discarded the process as well as the source without really looking into the reasons.

Thus as I read the Quran knowing that all avenues of help and solace are closed and that I desperately need His help, for the pain is unremitting and there is no relief in sight, I am keenly aware that the only way the agony in my breast, of loss, loneliness and separation from my child, can ease, lies in His hands. I realize that I can only get to the cure through Him.

I also know that this time the act of opening the Quran is not like the hundred others in the past. This time it is a focused search till I find it, whether it comes with the first line or last………..

Thus it has been for me, at any time of the day or night.

One morning before work, I am in agony as I find myself standing in the computer room, and the Quran lying on my desk calls to me. I stand irresolute, immobile, frozen with grief near the computer seeing my son in my minds eye, smiling and vibrant with life and then he dissolves in front of my eyes and I cannot even recall an image.
I take a step and I open the cover and randomly open a section…….and read. From the depths of darkness He lowers a rope for me: ”every soul will taste death” and” and the believers who are tested will say: It is from him we come and to him we shall return:
002.155: Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere,
002.156 Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”:
002.157: They are those on whom (Descend) blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.

…………and yet at other times I want to find an ayah and I cannot find it .………. someone has told me about it in the passing that it brings relief, and I cannot find it……..it is only when I sit at a spiritual retreat studying the word of the Divine, thousands of miles away from home, that in an atmosphere charged with the words of Allah Subhanawataala, as I listen to Surah Zumar, that I suddenly come upon it.

I am in a room where the Surah is being recited, reviewed and explained, surrounded by pious women that His Subhanawataala’s words of solace,and forgiveness engulf my heart like a poultice of cure, bringing instant relief. The written words are blurred with my tears but now I can find them as they are engraved on my heart “la taknatu mer rahmatullah………..
039.053 Say: “O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

039.054: “Turn ye to our Lord (in repentance) and bow to His (Will), before the Penalty comes on you: after that ye shall not be helped.

What can I say………………. I have no advice for you. You have to seek the cure with your own efforts.  I write prescriptions for my patients every day for irreversible diseases of the brain and yet I have been searching for a medicine for my own heart in all the wrong places.

So to those ………who have had a heart attack and are struggling with the cardiac drugs know that you too will die one day and that day is fixed, and nothing you do will change it. All suffering before you do so and after you do so, depends entirely on how you conduct the days of your life (with respect to Allah Subhanawataala) after the heart attack.

I am honored that He, Subhanawataala has handed me The Cure to my pain, and yet it is I who must take the correct dose, at the correct time and with the correct frequency, for when I forget in the distractions of dunya, the agony of grief returns with a vengeance.

The Quran………the Divine word in my house, on my desk, needs to be in my heart constantly and consistently to bring me peace, love and purity.

May Allah Subhanwataala give you the cure for your heart and may you use it as instructed by RasoolAllah pbuh, and may it bring you relief, heart health and keep you on the path of Allah, who is The Giver and The Healer. Ameen

Please forgive me for my past mistakes and if I have said or done anything to offend you. Everything correct that I have said is from Allah Subhanawataala and anything wrong is from me and from the wasswassaas of Shaitaan on me and my Nafs. May Allah Subhanawataala forgive me and accept my efforts. I am deeply thankful for all He has given me.

As you read this please remember to keep me in your prayers

Your sister in Islam

My Need of God…………….

Do not surrender your grief so quickly
Let it cut more deeply
Let it ferment and season you
As few human or divine ingredients can

Something is missing in my heart tonight
That has made made my eyes so soft
And my voice so tender
And my need of God so absolutely clear.

Hafiz

A CHILD’S SUPPLICATION FOR HER PARENTS……

parents and children in Saee in Ummrah

The above dua is taken from:

017.024 YUSUFALI english translation: And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.”

واخفض لهما جناح الذل من الرحمة وقل رب ارحمهما كما ربياني صغيرا

English-Transliteration translation (the blue is the dua)

> Waikhfid lahuma janaha alththulli mina alrrahmati waqul
 rabbi irhamhuma kama rabbayanee sagheera

and Allah Subhanawataala says about parents :46:15

AAoudo billahi minish shaitaan nir rajeem

ووصينا الإنسان بوالديه إحسانا حملته أمه كرها ووضعته كرها وحمله وفصاله ثلاثون شهرا حتى إذا بلغ أشده وبلغ أربعين سنة قال رب أوزعني أن أشكر نعمتك التي أنعمت علي وعلى والدي وأن أعمل صالحا ترضاه وأصلح لي في ذريتي إني تبت إليك وإني من المسلمين

English-Transliteration translation
—————————-
Wawassayna alinsana biwalidayhi ihsanan hamalathu ommuhu kurhan wawadaAAathu kurhan wahamluhu wafisaluhu thalathoona shahran hatta itha balagha ashuddahu wabalagha arbaAAeena sanatan qala rabbi awziAAnee an ashkura niAAmataka allatee anAAamta AAalayya waAAala walidayya waan aAAmala salihan tardahu waaslih lee fee thurriyyatee innee tubtu ilayka wainnee mina almuslimeena

Translation:

046.015 YUSUFALI’s translation: We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, “O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam.”

A PRAYER FOR LIGHT AND FORGIVENESS….

supplicating after salah in the courtyard of the masjid e Nabvi

Our Lord! Perfect our Light for us, and grant us Forgiveness: for Thou hast power over all things.
[66:8]

Rabbana atmim lana nurana waighfir lana innaka ‘ala kulli shay-in qadir

رَبَّنَا أَتْمِمْ لَنَا نُورَنَا وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا إِنَّكَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدِيرٌ
[التحريم :8]

Maghrib in the mountains of Medina

OUR LOVE AFFAIR WITH COKE…………..

From coast to coast the signs of our love affair with coke is evident……….

The current carries the trash from the Americas to the pristine coast of Belize

006.141
YUSUFALI: It is He Who produceth gardens, with trellises and without, and dates, and tilth with produce of all kinds, and olives and pomegranates, similar (in kind) and different (in variety): eat of their fruit in their season, but render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered. But waste not by excess: for Allah loveth not the wasters.

The pristine coastline as Allah Subhanawataala ordained it to be........Is man the Khalifa? is he or she looking after the earth and what is on and in it?

The ultimate dua (for me) for nearness to Allah……..

A Prayer for Health and global well being and protection…….

Going as a family for salah at the Masjed e Nabvi

“Ô Allaah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in this life and the next. Ô Allaah, I ask You for pardon and well-being in my religious and worldly affairs, and my family and my wealth.

The focus of Knowledge

Contribution from HS

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Do not attain learning in order to express pride before the ulema (scholars), nor by its help quarrel with foolish people, nor through it try to overwhelm meetings, but he who does so, his destination is fire.” [Ibn Majah]

The purpose of seeking knowledge of the Deen is to be in a better position to seek Allah’s pleasure. All Muslims are required to obtain that knowledge by which they may enter Jannah and escape the Fire. Ignorance is not bliss, for we will be held accountable for that which we could have found out. If we acquire this knowledge to seek worldly gain then it will be rejected by Allah (subhana wa ta’ala). Knowledge that is gained so that we may show it off and appear knowledgeable is a source of destruction.