It was the New Year but at this time, I do not remember which year was starting. My life has become divided into: when Tariq was alive and afterwards, but in this case I do not remember which period does this memory belong to, it feels like it may have been before Tariq died.It was a beautiful New Year Day and I went to Vs house. We were new friends relatively speaking. She had invited me to go on a boat ride with her family and a couple I had known for a while. Feeling quite self-conscious as none of my family accompanied me I accepted her invitation.
We drove to the river with her family, and the couple. The sun was out, the water was blue and the birds were busy fishing. At the ramp the boat rolled out and we cruised upriver. I felt mesmerized by the feeling of easy friendship. The heady mixture of the sun, the water and good friends put me in a state of “living in the now”, and not thinking of anything other than the friends, the water and the mild winter sun. Sandwiches never tasted as good as they did that day. V’s hospitality was generous, smooth and sincere.
We landed at a spot by the river and took a walk. She came off the boat with grace with her husband, talking chatting and smiling in her usual charming way, complimenting V on the sandwiches.
We walked along the river but much too soon the weakening of the warmth of the sun signaled that it was time to return to the boat. She smiled and chatted with V and me and talked about all sorts of fun things.
Today as I enter the mosque I see her being seated by the combined effort of her son and her husband in a chair for Jumma prayers. She is mute, her face fixed in a semi smile, her gait stiff, I note that she has lost half her body mass. Her mind has given up and disappeared along an irretrievable secret passage along with her speech, which is accessible to no one.
Today as I approach New Year, I think of that sunny morning, that I took for granted, a gorgeous boat trip that I sulked about because I was going without my husband and my family. A glorious morning where I forgot everything. An afternoon, where she and I walked with V, cracked jokes and remembered good times together.
Today time has fast-forwarded for each of us, Tariq is dead, She has Alzheimer’s and V has embraced hijab. Each one of us is battling our own private demons, in our own way.
In the final analysis the most beautiful essence that has outlasted all adversity is my deepening friendship with V, and my deep thankfulness to Allah Subhanawataala for giving me that beautiful sunny morning on the river where there was no past, no future and only the present.
I know now, remembering that beautiful sunny New Year morning never to take anything for granted ever.
Prophet Muhammad PBUH taught us to cherish every moment in the present. The past is history and no one knows what will happen tomorrow. That sunny New Year day was an epitome of this teaching of our Prophet PBUH, where as we glided on the water, neither the past nor the future existed for us.
I will never take for granted even a single ray of sunshine (inshallah) and try to remember to be grateful for all that Allah Subhanawataala continues to give me and refrain from even thinking of complaining about what he does not.
This New Year my goal is to remember what Allah Subhanawataala is gently reminding me in Surah Baqarah:
2:152
Then do ye remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and reject not Faith.
What are your New Year Resolutions?
What are you grateful for ?
5 responses so far ↓
Jowairia Qadri // December 31, 2008 at 1:20 pm |
ASAK!
New year’s resolutions? I tell myself first then my patients..why wait until the new year?Every breath is a blessing from our Creator, make use of life & it’s blessings NOW. Every person we meet whether he/she is a relative, friend,patient or otherwise is a test from Allah given to us as a gift for a limited time to see whether we are grateful if that person is good to us or are we patient if he is otherwise.
Please pray for me & all of us to make timely use of life before death, health before sickness, wealth before it is taken away, youth before old age (I forgot the 5th one).
Your story was an eye-opener & reminded me of Al-Asr…May Allah bless you forever. Ameen.
Anisur Rahman // December 31, 2008 at 10:29 pm |
Dear Sister,
Assalamualikum.
I no longer pray for happiness but for peace and sabr. I can no longer be happy. As you said before these special days are the most difficult. As I was reciting from the Quran sitting in Nabeel’s chair around midnight, I could hear the fire crackers and the laughter of the rejoicing neighbours. You could feel the happiness floating in the air. But as if a strong wind was forcing it away from my home from Nabeel’s room.
May Allah SWT provide us what is best for us and withold from us what we are not worthy of.
Ameen
Anisur Rahman // December 31, 2008 at 10:31 pm |
Dear Sister,
I forgot to add. Like you my life is divided into two, before Nabeel and after Nabeel.
Regards
asqfish // January 1, 2009 at 8:19 am |
Walaikum as salaam Brother Anis, soon other peoples laughter of this dunya will seem meaningless to you and you will move on to prepare for your eternal home, inshallah with your righteous and innocent son Nabeel.
Meanwhile you will find yourself doing only those things of dunya that fulfil the rights of one muslim on another and no more.
Life will become simple with only one goal and that being able to cross the Pul e Siraat without falling into the Fire.
May Allah Subhanawataala continue to guide and bless your efforts.
V // January 1, 2009 at 12:35 pm |
May Allah grant us a river to float on together in His jannah insAllah. I am grateful for your wonderful friendship Allah granted me among many other wonderful blessings. I am grateful for the things I had in the past and I choose not to be sad for the things I no longer have in my life. Although I would have loved to have a new years day with you and S each and every year on the river, I say alhamdulillah for the only one we were blessed with.
I look forward to and pray for the blessings of many more new memories to be cherished.