I am sitting in the computer room; everything is in place including his music that wafts out of the surround sound speakers that he had installed with such excitement.
How often we work long hours for inanimate things, a play station, a stereo set, a car, a house, clothes, jewelry and other toys, though none of those things have the warmth, fragrance and comfort of a hug and a kiss.
None of those inanimate objects that you and I sweated for all week long have that distinct fragrance that comes out of your child’s skin when he has played soccer and is bathed in sweat and has literally been washed clean of everything except this own special fragrance. No bottle can hold that distinct fragrance that comes from his head as I kiss it when he sleeps. Or from his hair as I kiss it as he hurries out the door to his final destination.
Fragrance………… the essence of life, death and the Hereafter, different and distinctive at each stage. In life we can hide our natural fragrances by using those from the bottle.
Those who remain in Taharah have a distinctly clean fragrance that reminds you of clean sheets in the sunshine or the essence of the Kaaba as you put your head down in the Hateem or pass your hand along the cover of the Kaaba as you approach the Yemeni corner……..
Blessed are those individuals who are always in a state of Taharah because in death they will have a beautiful fragrance coming from their spirit as they are carried to the heavens prior to being returned to their grave. As they pass the different levels of the heavens the guard angels will ask who is this pure person? I wonder will I be among them?
I am at Juma and look around at the congregation at the mosque, I wonder how many of us will be perfumed with our taharah at death and will be called out to, with respect by the angels as we are borne upwards to the heavens in death…………
At juma, the first adhaan is called and few people enter the mosque and join the even fewer who are already there. The second adhaan is called and that is when I see the majority of my fellow muslims, rushing in. Some sloppily dressed, some in work clothes, some dripping from their hurried ablution, as the Imam is well into his khutba. What of them? I wonder? I pull myself back and remind myself I am not to be concerned for them, only of myself.
And yet did I not walk in their shoes once? Working all day to collect inanimate objects that you can neither kiss nor inhale the fragrance of life from them, nor gain the fragrance of Jannah from them.
Priorities……….that is the key; everyone’s priorities are different. I look at my fellow women in the congregation. their priorities are the lives they lead in the now in this world. I too walked with them once, heedless and uninformed, how foolish I was! I never gave thought that all this effort to obtain the toys and status of this world will remain here as we journey towards our final abode. What is with us will certainly perish, what is with Allah survives.
I am deeply grateful to Allah SWT that I am at the stage where I want to lighten my suitcase. I have reached this stage through loss, and a lot of pain and anguish, but I have reached it never the less and am happy to see my destination finally in sight and my face turned towards it. I now know what to seek.
I now understand the significance of the taharah as not just an ablution for entering salaat but an ablution to enter jannah. I pray that I renew my taharah often enough and be continuously in the state of taharah and often in prayer that perchance if I am taken I do not have the stench of a non-taharah person which is offensive to the gentle nostrils of the angels. I pray that the fragrance of a momin emanates from me in death, in life and in the Hereafter.
I have no desire or energy to say to my fellows in the congregation……….”I have walked your walk and it takes you no where. I can no longer smell the head of my son nor inhale his characteristic fragrance that aroused my mamta…. you too will lose your beloved people one by one, so make time for them and bask in their fragrance, especially if they have the fragrance of taqwa. Cleanse yourself and remain in taharah at all times for you may meet your end not on I-20 but perhaps even in the safety of your own home. Your taharah is not just to get you ready for salaat for now, but to remove forever any other fragrance from you other than that of a Momin”
My lips are silent as is my heart, my concern is not with them, only with myself as I advance toward my God everyday, one step at a time. How can I cleanse myself such that I am always fragrant in my taharah. How can I ensure that the purity of my personal environs allows me to inhale and recognize the fragrance of jannah and turn myself towards it as my journey continues through all the stages, it has to go through before I reach my final abode.
Please pray for me.
3 responses so far ↓
zulekha reza // July 4, 2008 at 8:08 pm |
“Inna Allaha yuhibbu Tawwabeena wa yuhibbul Mutatahhireen.” Allah,swt says in Surat al Baqarah that indeed He loves the one oft turning to Him and the one constant in cleansing oneself(external impurities and internal flaws). The heart dead by a continuous seeking of comfort in the creation or in pleasing its self turns by His grace to Him. Fatigued from all its fleeing from its true source of happiness, it longs to return to its owner and comforter – This longing is tinged with fear of rejection and remorse at time lost. This myriad of internal bursts is Taubah – The turning. This begins the runaway slave(’abd)’s journey to his Loving and forgiving Master. This process entails much cleansing ,scrubbing and purging of attachments in the heart to other than Allah – Tatheerul Qalb.The more one learns, the more one realises the distance his heart has yet to journey, the more burst of pain and longing and more resolve to act, to cleanse. My friend, we are all in different stages in this journey. But we all start with Tawbah and move with Tazkiyah. May Allah,swt allow us to also rest in those other beautiful stations of His nearness and bless us with fellow travellers who inspire and remind us of Him and our true abode – Jannah. My friend, when you taste the sweetness of Tawbah, you pray for me, family and our ummah.
Anisur Rahman // July 5, 2008 at 1:25 am |
Dear Sister.
Assalamualaikum.
You just touched a raw nerve! How I miss touching my son and smelling him. Wheh he used to come from gym he would be wet all over and I had to persuade him again again to get a shower before mom starts to shout. Seems like an eternity has passed.
To come back to your topic. I can assure you no one will listen to you unless he or she goes through the trial of Allah. I used to be the same, praying regularly but the passion was not there. Now that Allah Has put me on track with the painful reminder of son’s death, I look forward to a long peaceful jumma every friday.
May Allah give you the strength to continue writing to help us find the truth.
MuslimMum // July 5, 2008 at 10:41 am |
Masha’allah sis that was really beautiful. I am at the point where my kids are still young, and its easy to feel a lot of frustration, lose my patience, and not appreciate ‘their fragrance’. Its so easy to get caught up in the dunya, and forget about our real goal. Jazakallah kheir for the reminder.